Have you ever wondered why women are always at the receiving end of gender discrimination?
Gender Pay Gap, Maternity discrimination and more, how did women end up being punished for being, well, women while men keep benefitting from being men? There are so many examples from our day to day lives which reeks of gender discrimination. A post or even a series of post isn’t enough to lay all of that out but that doesn’t mean one shouldn’t try? Something needs to be done and conversations are all that I have at my disposal.
Every time I talk about gender discrimination though, I’m either told things are better now or that they haven’t faced it so I must be exaggerating. I mean it’s 2019, surely gender discrimination must be a thing of the past now? Well, no. The fact is gender discrimination is so commonplace in our lives that you might not even know that you are at the receiving end of it. Let me give you a few examples if you still have doubts.
A couple of months ago there was news of cut-offs in Bangalore pre-university colleges being set higher for girls than boys. The justification given was that this was to ‘maintain gender balance‘ since girls had scored higher than boys in the qualifying exams and if the cut-offs were same, lesser boys would make the cut. Imagine, at the threat of lower representation of the male gender in pre-university colleges, the administration jumped to prevent that while women still continue to have low representation in almost all spheres garnering just lip-service from those in charge, mostly men. Of course, this faux pas was later righted as reported in the local papers but can you sight even one example where it was made harder for males to qualify to ensure that the representation of women was not low or even threatened? I don’t think so, right?
The cut-offs in Bangalore pre-university colleges were being set higher for girls than boys with the justification that this was to ‘maintain gender balance’ since girls had scored higher than boys in the qualifying exams and if the cut-offs were same, lesser boys would make the cut.
This is the gender prejudice that women have to live with. It is something we have come to expect and even accept. In fact, most times we don’t even notice it so accustomed have we become to not getting what is rightfully ours. But India isn’t the only place where gender parity is far from being realised or where the inherent bias projects into decisions taken when it comes to women, their education, their health or even their careers. It is a universal problem, one that will take about 200 years or more to do away with. Yes, let that sink it.
Last year in August, the Tokyo Medical University confessed to marking down the test scores of female applicants to keep the ratio of women in each class below 30%. In fact, they also admitted that this systematic manipulation had been in effect since 2006. Their argument – women get married or pregnant and then they might drop out and Japan would then run out of doctors. Do I even need to say how ridiculous that sounds?
Again, women are being punished for being women, their biology and the fact that they think women can’t manage their personal lives and careers because obviously, they are the only ones that need to ‘manage’. Now, women are the only ones that can give birth. That’s how our bodies have been designed to work and believe me if women could give this ‘gift’ to men they would do so readily but things just don’t work that way, do they? So, that leaves women as the only ones who can be pregnant and give birth. Now since giving birth is one of the toughest things your body can go through, women need time to recuperate and heal hence the maternity leave. Also, you can’t really leave babies right after they are born and resume work. Well, women can’t though men do it all the time. But after that period of maternity leave why is it that women are the ones that need to ‘balance’ home and careers. Always. I mean scientifically speaking, when a woman becomes a mother, somewhere a man becomes a dad too. So, why the exclusive ownership of this balance with women?
Truth be told, and a sad truth really that men have never done their share of the housework so the onus falls on women all the time. If they want to have their careers, they very well can but the primary responsibility of taking care of their child falls on them as well. It’s like an unwritten and unwanted yet followed rule. And that’s where questions are raised on women’s commitments and that’s where women lose out on all that they deserve. That’s where gender discrimination thrives. So, in spite of doing the bulk of unpaid work at home taking care of their families, in spite of working long hours at home and at work, they really need to struggle to get what is their due whether at home or at their workplaces. And organisations add to that by ‘proactively’ weeding women out at the onset.
But who is to blame here?
The men who never think of housework or childcare as something they need to equally contribute to? The maternal gatekeeper behaviour of us women who don’t let men do their share at home and put them on some sort of pedestal? Or, institutions which rule women out even before giving them a chance? I think we are all to blame here. I think the next time we outrage over prejudice dished out to women, we need to see how we are enabling that in some way. The fact that women have so much to balance on a daily basis often puts them at a disadvantage and at the mercy of discrimination. We blame and punish women for having to balance career and homes instead of fixing the cause of it.
Most of the time the discrimination is subtle or hidden which is far more difficult to fight than blatant discrimination. I remember a couple of years back an acquaintance repented how he had been asked by the senior management to ask certain specific questions to women before onboarding them to projects. Are you married? How long have you been married? Do you have a child? Just some of the variants. Makes you wonder why does a woman’s marital status or her plans for motherhood affect her rise at work if she is able to do what is required of her. And most women can do it and are doing it but they are at a disadvantage. They risk being burnt out or even not being given their due for all the effort at home and at work. Both so widespread in women’s lives.
We blame and punish women for having to balance career and homes instead of fixing the cause of it.
If I go by what I have seen, experienced and heard from my fellow women, there are only two ways a woman can succeed. Have an exceptional support system at home in the same city so that she doesn’t have to do any of the household chores or worry about her children, stay late at work because being seen is more important than actually working as I and a number of my women colleagues have experienced first hand. Or, not have children. Because if the powers that be have even the slightest inkling as to you balancing work and home with a child in the mix, they will assume the worst and keep opportunities from you. Sounds awful to be true but it is.
Gender Discrimination Against Women Is Wrong & Needs To Be Stopped #womensrights #feministmondays Click To Tweet
I think as much as women need to fight this stereotyping, men need to step up too. And maybe begin with placing the used dishes in the sink for starters? Gender discrimination needs to go and the changes must start at each of our homes. When men have to start balancing home and work, children and careers, then, maybe then, women have a chance to get what they truly deserve. Maybe then gender discrimination will stop being the menace it is to us women.
1st Pic Credit | Shutterstock
2nd Pic Credit | Shutterstock
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Every word you say is true, Naba. We have the dice loaded against us because we can bear children. Hence organizations just seem to count that against us. Those cut offs were so totally ridiculous. I don’t even know what to comment.
There is still so much social change that is needed before we come closer to having equal loads to bear. Raising our sons better is one way and changing societal mindsets is another.
Agree Naba, and also with what Rachna has said in the above comment. Just because we bear children, why is it that we are subject to a different set of rules morals and prejudices? It is insane to set a higher cut off for girls. Such practices reflect on the underlying thought the capability of a woman is often seen as a threat to society. Strange and ridiculous indeed.
The worst is when if men contribute to the home and care taking of the child, he is lauded is looked as an exception. Whereas it is nothing but doing a normal thing. I wonder when we would change. Sometimes I doubt if things would change