Here’s the thing about moms, we are always busy. So busy indeed that we have to be especially mindful to be mindful. Trust me on this. But that doesn’t mean we don’t try. In fact, this mom here has been trying a lot to be mindful each day. I truly am. And today I’m going to talk about the 10 ways in which I’m trying to be so. But before that let’s talk a little about the mom life and why this need to be mindful at all.
The mom life!
Every single day for moms looks like a list of chores unless of course, you are perhaps a Kardashian mom, with all the hired help money can buy! Naturally, yours truly falls into the former category so you can well imagine how finding even the coveted ‘Me Time‘ is a struggle.
But let you in on a secret?
I guard my Me-Time fiercely even if it’s at the end of a long and tiring day. Even if it means I’m trying to read my book while every part of my body is urging me to fall asleep. So, yes, being mindful or finding and living that Me Time takes a lot of effort, a lot of conscious bidding at times. And sometimes when I can’t find time for myself, my mood goes awry and it’s all downhill from there.
The truth is being on an auto-pilot, going from one task to the other, often leaves moms exhausted mentally. I’m no exception either. This then leads to a lot of mood swings, yelling at the little one, sulking and all things bitter. Honestly, with so few hours a day, I cannot do this to myself. I cannot spend the few hours I get with M and my husband on weekdays or even those few minutes of respite that I get in a bad mood. These are precious times and I’m not going to get them back, am I?
So, after a lot of contemplation during boring meetings and knowledge transfer sessions (because it’s then when I like to think of better things!), I have decided to make some subtle changes in my day to day life. I’m going to be more mindful of being mindful!
And here’s the list. The plan.
10 Ways In Which This Mom Is Trying to be Mindful
I’m not going to postpone freshening up first thing in the morning after waking up. Chores can wait a few more minutes. Picking up the milk packets can wait too. I need to listen to my body. I need to do due diligence to my body’s needs. It might sound trivial but trust me it isn’t. And so many moms I have spoken to talk about how they keep postponing bathroom breaks just to get that one last chore done in time.
I’m going to not let my morning tea get cold while running around doing chores. I’m going to have my tea just the way I like it, still hot, dipping toasted bread or biscuits in it and while sitting. Yes, I am.
I’m going to spend at least half an hour playing with M and her board books every evening. I know I haven’t been able to do this enough. So, yes, this one’s for M and for my love of reading which I want to imbibe in her.
Never compromise on reading. This is something which I can proudly exclaim that I have been doing even after becoming a mom. And I have no intention to stop doing it. Ever!
I’m going to take care of myself more. My body, skin and hair are in a state of total neglect. Though I can’t and don’t want to do anything fancy, I’m going to take out time to do things to pamper myself, even something as simple as oiling my hair. And not just as a quick two-minute activity on a Saturday!
I’m going to listen to my body more carefully. For the past few weeks, I have been pushing it to the limits even though every inch has been asking me to rest and take a break. I’m going to try to not ignore it.
I’m going to miss a few phone calls. Yes, because my habit of always being available leaves me with no time for myself. So, lesser phone calls will be the order of the day.
Spend some time doing nothing. Or, maybe spend some time watching the television or listening to music without actively working on something else. I basically need to keep some time apart to whirl away time. Or, as they say, stop and breathe!
Take in some sun. Yes, because I just realised that I’m always indoors whether at home or at work. And this can’t be good for me both physically and mentally. I need to spend some time in the open, even if for a few minutes.
Be grateful for what I have. I need to remember that and stop with the complaints! I need to be patient and not lose my cool over trivial things because in many ways I’m really blessed. I need to remember that and go about my day.
Well, that was me. This is my ‘mindfully being mindful’ cheat sheet.
Tell me, what do you do to be mindful?
Pic Credit | Tananyaa Pithi via Shutterstock
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I think all moms can add a little more time in taking some extra care for themselves! Really loved the tips! I also hate it when my morning chai gets cold!!! Good luck 🙂
Well done, Naba 🙂 I am so happy to read this. Every woman must take care of herself. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Self care is the best gift we can give ourselves and I am so selfish with my me-time these days. It’s made a marked difference to my mood, my health and my overall relationships too.
Hugs and all the best for the mindful journey. It’s worth it 🙂
I like your list of 10. I think all of us irrespective of whether we are moms or not need to pay more attention to ourselves. I am so happy that you are putting yourself ahead. It is going to bear you rich dividends in a short time. Sigh! That reminds me I am overdue for my parlour visit. Just want some relaxing next and back massage. 🙂
I can imagine you in a state of calm writing this post on being mindful. Having a cup of hot tea in the morning all by yourself when there is no one awake to disturb is sure to charge up the batteries. Taking care of your body, skin and hair is also equally important. In my case, I could only afford (time wise) to get eyebrows done for straight 2 years while D was 2 and 3 years old, nothing else. And, at the end Gratitude is one thing which replaces the complaints and makes life look good. I wish you all the best 🙂
Such a strong, sorted woman you are, Naba. Being a mother only comes next.
It is so nice to see the way you have planned your life. Nothing can take me away from my me-time too. That is one thing that I guard fiercely and can never compromise on.
All the best for your mindful journey. If I haven’t said it yet, you are doing a great job at being a mother without letting the woman in you take a backseat.
Loved your mindfulness.
thoughtful inspirational post
Great going, Nabanita! Love the way you are taking care of yourself despite having your hands full. Reading, listening to your body and sometimes doing nothing is something that I love doing as well.
I am with you on the morning tea girl; earlier I used to reheat it in the micro while doing all the chores. Now I have started to just shut down everything and enjoy it first; I deserve my me-time first thing in the morning.
More power to you to do all this and be as mindful as you can be!! 🙂
When the twins were toddlers me time spelt S.L.E.E.P. I become a whole different person if I don’t get enough of it. So all my leisure activities took a back seat – reading writing, crafting… everything. However I reclaimed life after they turned two and it’s been much better over the years. I’ve been reading a lot and although I do editing for work I enjoy it enough to term it ‘me time’ too. Oh and the occasional visit to the parlour (beyond the hair cut) is such a treat – a head massage for instance is bliss. Do try it.
What a pleasant post, Naba! How wonderful to listen to your body and your mind. This is a great list and I wish you all the best in following it. Our technology-run lives are so hectic that we miss stopping to enjoy the things that give us great pleasure. I actually wake up half an hour early to enjoy my coffee! 🙂
P.S. I think you are amazing!
Looking after ourselves is so important. As others have commented, you look after others if you’re not taking care of yourself
A good post and I am sure many Mums can benefit from this. It is important to be happy to keep our loved ones happy. And to be happy, one needs to be mindful and take care of her own self first. Tea when its still hot is important to calm the mind down that is always thinking of chores. Keep at it.
You are doing great as a Mum and I know you are setting a very good example for M.
I think it’s so important to get time to ourselves. xx
#mg
As a mom, when I take my ” me ” time, its always, music, reading, and writing. Its my way of taking care of myself and my mind. Its my time, when I am myself, relaxed and calm.
A much needed reminder for all us mums out there! Like you, I fiercely guard my ‘me-time’ whatever tiny slivers of it I can grab in a day! If I don’t get that, it’s a ‘grouchy bear’ day that everyone will be facing! Health issues are vital too, one gets carried away with chores and demands so much that health is the first to be overlooked.
Super happy on reading your post, Naba. Really being mindful will help you to celebrate your life inspite of all odds and struggles. keep practicing, dear !!!
I have allowed myself to miss some calls lately and I feel a little guilty but sometimes time with my family needs to come before taking calls, sometimes I leave it inside the house when I am in the garden and it is a good feeling. I stopped reading when I became a mum, but eventually recaptured my love of books and it is something I won’t give up again. Fantastic post Thanks for sharing this with #mg Have a fabulous week!
As someone who just finished the morning coffee from 7am, and it is now 3:19 pm, and microwaved at least 3 times, thank you for these tips! xoxo #mg
Well done you! I have really tried to do the same, I stopped stressing so much about replying to emails the second they landed in my in-box, and I worried a little less about everything being perfect, and just learned to enjoy the moment! #mg