It’s that time of the year again when I do my annual I’m Weird Because post. I did it for the first time in 2014. Somehow, it became a tradition after that. I love that it has chronicled how I have changed, gotten weirder or, in some cases, stayed the same in the past ten years. If I’m 60 and still here, to reflect on these posts and reminisce will be quite something. So, without further ado, let me tell you why I’m weird.

I’m Weird Because

I cannot sacrifice good food for anyone. Now that I’m older, I’m worried that I’ll need to give up on foods I love because of one health issue or the other. I will be a tough person to deal with if I don’t have the comfort of good food.

I like reaching the office by 8. If it’s before 8, it’s even better. If, on any day, for one reason or another, I reach the office by 10, I feel like the day has started wrong. Don’t even ask me what would happen if I couldn’t till after 10. That’s not even allowed in my book! The other day, as I was tracking my office bus, it seemed I would not reach before 8. That made me anxious. I knew if I waited for the bus, I would not relax. Someone other than me would have, but I’m weird. So, what did I do next? Instead of waiting for the bus, I took an auto and reached the office by 8 to start the day, well, my work day, on my time.

If I like some dish, I can eat it for days. I’ll give you an example. These past few weeks, I have been having Bisi Bele Bath for breakfast at work every day. Before that, I was having vada every day. And before that, paranthas. So you see, I’m weird when it comes to food as well.

If someone hurts me, I cannot forget or even forgive. Once bitten, I don’t give someone another chance twice. I have seen people be mean, rude and selfish too often to change that. If you look at it, it works well for me because I can focus on what is important to me instead of being stuck in transactional relationships.

I’m uncomfortable with long chats on WhatsApp or anywhere else, for that matter, unless it is with a selected few. After a while, I don’t know what to say and it becomes a chore for me very quickly.

I don’t understand the point of self-help books. I have never found anything new in them, no advice I haven’t already known about. Why did I still read them? Well, I don’t know! What I found missing in them were the concrete steps to change. So, when someone gushes about self-help books, I know I won’t ever find any answers in them.

I’m always in a hurry. I hate being late, and the fear of that keeps me on my toes. Also, even though I’m the adult at home, I feel I’ll get scolded if I don’t adhere to some bizarre standards. Strange, I know!

I do not believe in hustle. I avoid people who sermonise about hustling like a plague. When you have to work 17 to 20 hours and make other people do the same, that doesn’t put you on a pedestal for me.

I find LinkedIn cringe and wonder how all of them can be happy all the time or find some corporate lesson in everything. I think cringe LinkedIn posts should be a filtering criteria for jobs. Nobody is all sunshine and rainbows while working. Nobody!

I’m awkward at conversations. You’ll often find me wondering about my interactions with people long after I’m home. As an introvert and an overthinker, I overanalyse my exchanges long after they are over.

I’m too sincere for my good. I can’t be laid back. You would think I’m holding some nuclear codes. I keep pushing myself even though I wish, at times, I would not. For example, I don’t bunk dance classes even if I’m not well. I try to adhere to all the rules at work. I do all these knowing well I don’t have to because nobody does anymore. I’m incorrigible!

I find those videos of women asking their husbands what they should cook or what they pack for their husband’s lunch cringe. They could be doing it for the right reason, but I find it regressive. Unless there are an equal number of men making food for women every single day, I don’t think women slaving in the kitchen for years on end is entertainment.

I don’t understand why Indian managers, particularly men, need to wear blazers during client visits in summer. You can wear formal without one, just saying!

I still find people learning to dress up from influencers weird. Style should be personal. If you don’t have your way of dressing up then what’s the point of it?

I have a fan at my office desk and every day I walk in, I’m worried that someone would have nicked it. When they do, the first thing I do after reaching the office is bring it back to my desk. It has become a fixation now. Even though I hardly use it with the centralised AC and Bangalore weather (touchwood!), I need to have it at my desk. Weird!

I  avoid eye contact with people while walking because I don’t know what to say to them. What if I smile at them and they don’t reciprocate? That would lead my thoughts into a spiral. I don’t want that.

For some bizarre reason, I like taking mirror selfies in the office lift every morning. Yes, I’m weird!

I feel like I’m the resident aunty witch of my apartment. If kids make noise in the stairwell, I chase them away. Oh well, I need peace and the stairwell is not the playground!

Sometimes I wish I had a beard to hide my double chin. Maybe menopause will do that for me. Well, I get such weird thoughts, what can I say?

I always have my headset on at the office to avoid talking to people, as much as possible. I, not only get work done this way but also avoid being part of any camps. Most importantly, I don’t have to pretend I am interested in what they have to say. I guess this is the introvert in me using the headphones as a coping and protective mechanism.

I still am very protective of my books. I don’t borrow nor lend. I don’t think anyone can care for my books like I do. So, they are not going out of sight as long as I’m here.

I still can’t ask for anything for myself. Gifts make me uncomfortable. I love them but they make me feel very indebted which is not a good feeling. So, I start thinking of a way to give back immediately. I know, I’m indeed weird.

I always carry a sweater with me, even in summer. I don’t want to suffer being cold somewhere, probably in an AC room, just because I wasn’t prepared.

I need to unpack my suitcases immediately after coming back home from anywhere. Very rarely do I keep it for the next day. Everything needs to be put back in place at the earliest.

I never comment negatively on someone’s appearance. Hence, I find it very annoying when someone comes up and tells me, I have a double chin, gapped teeth or that I look drastically changed from my past photographs. I don’t find it polite. I find them to be quite crass actually.

At times, I find that I can’t recall the name of a person I know. Or, I can’t remember the names of things. I don’t know if this is a sign of ageing or some impending problem but that’s how it is!

Also, I still have the Dislike List for people who have hurt me at some point and there is no way they can get off that list. It’s something I do to protect myself.

I still can’t drive. Well, somebody’s got to be the passenger so that’s probably me. Passenger for life!

I love travelling in an auto. I just find it less suffocating. It probably has to do with the motion sickness I get in cars. But it is what it is.

Well, I guess this is it for this year. I feel I haven’t changed much from the first year I did such a post, not in the things that make me me. But of course, more idiosyncracies have been added. I’m also older now! So, that’s there. Have I changed much from last year? I think not.

Tell me, what did you think of this post? And are you weird too?