Daughter to daughter-in-law

Feb 9
NabanitaDhar
“Daughter am I in my mother’s house, but mistress in my own.…” . A woman’s life is multifaceted. She is always undergoing change, taking up new roles …. Little does she know when she is born that this society which calls itself modern and educated would be burdening her with unfair expectations. She is a daughter at birth; is born again when wedded , metamorphosing into the role of a daughter-in-law with apprehensions, nervousness and anxiety.

A woman’s life is always full of challenges. There is hardly a dull moment is a woman’s life. Till one is just a daughter , she is never expected to be “always giving”. But the moment her role as a daughter is post fixed with a “in-law” she is expected to be only “giving”. Fair?? I am not really sure.

Sometimes I wonder why isn’t there such a burden and such load of expectations pushed on a man when he becomes a son-in-law from just being a son….It is nothing but prejudice and conceitedness of this society which is party to this chauvinism…

Sometimes I wonder what is it that actually changes when a girl gets married.Does she grow wings?Or does she change into a wonder woman that she is run over by a bulldozer of crap…The society,no matter how much it christens itself of being in tune with today’s times, is in reality archaic and dogmatic….

As long as society does not wake up every daughter when turned into a daughter-n-law will only be paralyzed with unfair diktats…!!

10 thoughts on “Daughter to daughter-in-law”

  2. Hi Nabanita,…to some extent you are right..but I want to say you one thing that its up to individual only that how they manage…like when your mother scold you on your mistakes you smile and think tht she loves you but at the same time whn mother in law says something atonce you think tht you are not her daughter thats why she is behaving like this….and who says tht there is not any change in boys after marriage…before marriage they are MAA KA LADLA:)…BUT AFTER MARRIAGE one BECOME SO RESPONSIBLE TOWARDS YOU AND EVERYBODY in the family…Pls don't mind these are my personal views….anyway I feel one should take care of their responsiblities..weather boy or a girl…..AND BECHARA LADKA TO WAISE HI MAA AUR BIWI KE BEECH ME SANDWICH AN JATA HAI:):):)

  3. I agree that there is a great deal of unfairness built in towards women in our society. There are two main ways of dealing with this. The first is to assume a position of power yourself. Most systems derive power from the fact that the so called powerless individual agrees to give up power. If you refuse, the balance is restored. Of course, it comes with its consequences, but in my opinion, those consequences are better than being treated like a doormat. The other way to deal with this is to teach your children well, so that the boys learn to respect and acknowledge the importance and sacredness of the feminine, and the girls learn to not put up with any gender bias in any aspect of life. Nice post. New here. Will be back, looks like!

  5. Hi Seema.. I appreciate and respect your views..Ofcourse some in-laws are really good… but more often than not its the other way round…Its true men need to balance between his parents and the wife…but two things that I would like to say..first that a daughter-in-law being accepted as a daughter in the husband's house may only happen a few odd times out of millions..and secondly leaving one's parents to live with a new family and later having to seek permission to do anything for her own family or be frowned upon if she doesn't ask, that is something a man never has to face.. so yes men adjust but not at all to the extent we women do..tht's what I believe 🙂

  7. Hi Nabanita, I liked your post a lot and think it is as apt in current times as it was some 40-50 years ago. I wonder when things would change?! I do agree with Subhorup above about 'being the change' yourself.

    For a long time daughters have been kept away from education & exposure, restricting them to household responsibilities, this makes them dependent on in-laws when married (and get cut-off from her own parents). So much so that, she is made to feel guilty when she does small things for her parents who have taken as much trouble to raise her as the 'in-laws' have taken to raise their sons. Times have changed but the attitude in society largely and sadly remains same..

    Good to read your thoughts on this.

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