Dear M,

This week you turn 3. This week I turn 3 as a mom. Still very fresh in our roles, I must say but not quite new at it. But it has been quite an interesting journey, hasn’t it?

Almost a big girl of 3 you are now, aren’t you? You’ll even start going to school next year. Well, time surely flies. Sounds cliched but it definitely seems just like yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time, scared that I’m holding you wrong or too tight. It was just yesterday, wasn’t it that I was talking to my baby girl for the first time in the delivery room? It also seems like yesterday that we celebrated your first birthday in Goa. And now see, you are slowly but surely making your way towards new things in life. What can I say, I’m growing and learning with you too.

Now, what can I give you on your birthday this year? Apart from the toys and dresses, I want to reiterate some promises to you and share some thoughts. Maybe one day, many years later, these will live on after I’m gone.

3 years have passed M and there are so many things I wish I had been able to be for you by now. A patient mom, for sure. But let’s face it, that’s not going to happen. I’m just not patient enough. I guess when they were distributing patience I was sitting in some corner reading a book! Anyway, all that matters M is that I’m going to be there for you in any way I can. This I can promise you.

You know as a mom who also goes out of our home to work, the choices haven’t always been easy. It’s almost always you and the rest of my aspirations clashing. So far, I have tried to keep moving with both together and surely in the process, we have had to make some adjustments. I can guarantee that you are always going to be my top priority though and I’m always going to make choices which align with that. Still, I hope I haven’t failed you as a mother, at least not just yet!

One of the things I want you to have is a happy childhood. There are times when my biggest concern is what if I’m not able to guarantee that? What if I don’t get to be with you for the rest of your life? It’s just the uncertainties of life that scare me, M. I don’t want to leave you before making you equipped to face this world. And perhaps it’s a fear I’ll live with every day. So on moments such as these, I hold you tight and pray that I can stay as long as I can with you, against all odds too.

You are very fortunate in many ways M and I hope you grow up to be grateful about that. Your father and I are simple people and we’ll do everything in our capacity to give you a good life. I just hope we can also teach you to value that.

As the years pass by, I realise you will step from one milestone to another. I also realise that slowly I’ll need to share you with the world. Believe me, it’s a scary feeling for a mother. But if I want you to grow, I’ll need to let you fly albeit fly right behind you myself.

The world is a scary place and I want you to know that we will always be your safe haven. I want you to know that no matter how much we scold you, we want nothing but the best for you and your well-being.

On your birthday, I promise for the millionth time to be a better mother. And I wish you all that you could ever wish for but most importantly I wish that you grow up to be a strong, confident and independent girl.

Love,

Mom.

Pic Credit | By Vectorideas via Shutterstock