How does a mother find time to read? I get asked this question quite often. I get asked this question, even more, these days working from home without any household help and with my daughter in tow. But I think irrespective of before or during the pandemic, my answer remains the same. A mother reads when she decides that is something she won’t let go of. I’ll elaborate, of course.

But before that let me tell you why does a mother read?

One of the strange assumptions made the moment a woman becomes a mother is that motherhood will be her entire life, the be-all and end-all of her being. I agree a woman’s life does indeed become encumbered with responsibilities after a child or two, increasing the unpaid care work that she does by manifolds. There is no question about it that she does become poorer when it comes to leisure time as a result. But what I don’t agree with is for nothing to be done to alleviate the pressure that accompanies being a parent or feeling guilting for wanting something else too. I believe in the chaos of motherhood, a woman needs to find time just for herself, if not for anything else than just for her sanity. And I say woman because more often than not it is the woman whose time is sacrificed at the altar of obligations. There is research data to prove that, of course. So, a woman needs to find the time, even if she has to fight for it, to do something, anything that makes her she. That is perhaps the holy grail of living while holding on to a semblance of herself despite being a mother. For me, that free time means reading more often than not.

I love being M’s mom. I love her just like any mom does. There I go again, posting a disclaimer like saying I want something else too is a crime. The point is, I try not to feel guilty about that fact that I need to be more than a mother to feel fulfilled. That is where reading and writing figure in my life. It’s not always easy to find the time to do both still I don’t want to give up. It is not easy, but rarely anything a woman deals with is.

How does a mother find time to read? #Reading #BooksWithNaba Share on X

Think of it this way, the stress of the workplace, housework and the non-stop demands as a mother are the centrifugal forces balanced by the centripetal force of reading and writing keeping me sane. So, I make time for both, no matter what. I especially, make time for reading because it helps with the anxiety that invariably creeps in when your life is not just yours. How do I do that? 

A lot of moms have asked me how is it possible that I read despite having a full-time job and having a naughty little girl. Well, here is my answer.

How does a mother find time to read?

While doing something she doesn’t like

I read when I cook and clean. Ever since I discovered audible thanks to one of my favourite reader friends, Soumya, it has become a comfort for me. Every moment in the kitchen this year since the start of the lockdown has been spent listening to stories. What better way to utilise your time than to read? I don’t have to think very much when I’m cooking and since I’m not particularly fond of it either, it works well for me. You can do it too while taking a walk or even sweeping or mopping. Pick an activity that doesn’t need your mental focus and listen to stories while doing that. I can’t tell you how tolerable listening to audible has made cooking or even washing utensils for me.

Before going to bed

I don’t go to bed early. I spend time reading till very late at night because that’s the most uninterrupted time I get during any day. I sacrifice sleep to get to read. While I wouldn’t suggest that, but still a reading a few pages before sleeping is a great habit to cultivate, especially if you want to make time to read. What I do is while my daughter sleeps, I read on my Kindle or even read a paperback. The latter I have recently started doing again as my daughter is a little grown-up now so I can keep the bedside lamp on while putting her to sleep. The point is, make it a habit to read before going to bed. I promise you there is nothing that makes reading as pleasurable than a silent night when you are alone with your books while your family sleeps.

Reading a paperback is reading, reading on a Kindle is reading and listening to Audible is reading. #BooksWithNaba Share on X

On the playground

I’m that mom who is awkward when it comes to conversations with fellow moms. I don’t know what to say. I suppose I’m just bad at conversations being an introvert. Since being a mom, it is tough to avoid playgrounds and thus meeting fellow moms, I tend to carry my Kindle or even my headset to listen to Audible while my daughter plays with her friends in the playground. It works well for both of us as when I’m engaged in reading I let her play for longer than I would have otherwise. Also, I don’t end up making myself or someone else uncomfortable with my horrible conversation skills.

Anytime she is free

One of the game changers for me, in terms of reading, after M was born, was switching to Kindle. I know traditionally, readers tend to be hesitant when it comes to choosing between being able to touch and feel a book to a device. But trust me when I say this, reading a paperback is reading, reading on a Kindle is reading and listening to Audible is reading. With the Kindle comes the ease of carrying many books in a single device which translates to being able to read anytime you are free. Being the obsessive reader that I am, I have been able to read during lunch and breakfast times at work, outside cinema halls before the start of any movie to even Vitamin D breaks I sometimes took post-lunch at work. When you are not particular about the mode, you can read whenever you are free. Enticing, isn’t it for us busy mothers?

What all the above ways point to is that reading needs to be incorporated with some of our mundane daily activities to ensure there is ample time for it. Also, as long as we are not particular about the mode, there is always the chance that we will find some time for reading.

Well, that was me. Why don’t you tell me about how you find time to read or to do anything that you love doing?