How To Treat The Aged & The Elderly?

Feb 23
NabanitaDhar
A few weeks back I was at a socio-cultural event full of people, young and old. From kids to people in their 40s, it was quite a mix of people really. Among all of us though there was an uncle, let’s call him Uncle John. He was probably in his late 60s. For some reason, the very moment I entered the hall I noticed him. As the program gradually got underway everyone started taking part. Suggestions kept pouring in and everyone took turns establishing their point of views. It is then that I observed something; something that, well, ruined the evening for me. Maybe I’m too sensitive, maybe I think too much from my heart every now and then, I don’t know, but I didn’t like what I saw and it all went downhill from there on.
It was Uncle John’s turn to suggest something and to my surprise nobody seemed interested in listening to what he had to say. He was subtly ignored, avoided even. It was as though he was invisible, irrelevant to the crowd. These were people making tall claims about contributing to the society, all apparently educated and they couldn’t find it in them to lend a patient ear to Uncle John. Is it really so hard to respect the opinion of an aged and experienced person? Is this how the world see’s old age or old people? If so, don’t you think it is wrong? We are all going to be old one day, it’s inevitable. Then why this? Do we have to outgrow our elders? Is this some kind of fad?
“That’s the trouble with you young people. You think because you ain’t been here long, you know everything. In my life I already forgot more than you ever know.” ― Neil Gaiman, Anansi Boys
That night’s events got me thinking. What if one day someone treats my parents that way? I would be furious, wouldn’t you? When I see aged individuals, grandmas and grandpas, uncles and aunts, I think of my parents. One day when they are really old and away from me for some reason, what if someone treats them the way people treated Uncle John that day? What would I feel? What would they feel?
I have always tried to be respectful towards the elderly except maybe towards those who have meddled in my life unnecessarily to make it hard for me. I always make it a point to let them speak. I always lend a patient ear to them; yes whether I agree or not is a different thing altogether. But I let them speak and give them my undivided attention when they do so. It doesn’t take away anything from me.
People leave behind their old parents at stations so that they don’t have to bear medical expenses. People send away their parents to old age homes. How can anyone even do this? I don’t think old people need too much from their children and those around. A little bit of respect and a patient ear is all they crave for. You don’t really need to do much to keep them happy.
Give them your full attention.
Listen to what they have to say.

Respond to them when they talk to you.

Look at them when they talk to you.

Ask them how they are feeling, at least once in a while.

Tell them you understand their problems.

Give them a chance to be a part of your lives.

Don’t stop loving them because of their age because remember they won’t.

And do this not because you have to but because you should. I’m not saying you don’t take your decisions or live your life the way you want to. But it doesn’t have to entail ignoring and disrespecting the elderly. Just my two cents!
***
Written for Microblog Mondays #26
Source

54 thoughts on “How To Treat The Aged & The Elderly?”

  1. What a sensitive post, Naba..!! And I have observed that sometimes people tend to somehow show or fake respect to elderly who are strangers but ignore and even disrespect the ones who are part of their worlds.. Parents, neighbors, daily workers and what about parents-in-laws.. Isn't that true..? Most of the times we tend to love and care for our parents, take on their scoldings sportingly but when our parents-in-laws pinpoint our mistakes or try to advise us we belittle them in the name of interference.. Why don't we show them the same respect being them same age maybe a little older or little younger than our parents..Can't we just ignore their bickering and simply respect them with our silence and care?
    A very good post by you.. Congrats…

    Soulful: To Chaya Mam

  2. Quite true, Naba, that the young tend to ignore the old. AND, yes, turn and turn about happens – we grow old and we get back what we gave 🙂

    One of the reasons why humanity keeps repeating the mistakes of the past is because the young never listen to the old and insist on learning the same lessons by repeating the same mistakes 🙂

  3. They say the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. It is sad that elderly are usually not treated with dignity and respect! It must be so humiliating and painful for Uncle John that day!

  4. True, discounting the opinions of the elderly is a very common thing. It is very easy to show respect/consideration for an elderly who is a stranger to us by giving them our seat in public transportation. However, the same respect/consideration is rarely available when the elderly in our lives want our time & attention. Some years back, I made a conscious choice to hear them out (whether or not I agree with them). This has made a world of difference in my relationship with them. Very well written post.
    -Shantala

  5. I find elder abuse to be as heinous as child abuse. I agree with most of your post–my only one is about elder care communities. (As they are called in the states.) Since my mom passed away we have been bothering my father to come and live with us. He does not want to (decidedly.) and would rather stay in an assisted living elder care community. Until he changes his mind he will stay there.

    That being said, I adore him and am so glad he's still around.

  9. I appreciate your thoughts Nabanita!!

    I've the same question of why our elders are ignored by our generation; though we cannot generalize it but yeah…it is the case for 80% of scenarios. Elders are backbone, especially aging parents help us balance the atmosphere at home. And as u said…it is selfless love when it comes to parents.

  10. It's true that elderly people get disrespected in modern society. What I see often is young people showing marked impatience when dealing with the elderly who are often slower in step and demeanour. Sad!

  11. I agree completely Naba. Sometimes all they need is an acknowledgement that they are needed and that they are important. Sometimes they just need someone to listen to them. The thing is people are just too busy these days to find time for their ramblings. It's truly sad.

  12. I know Roohi…And when it comes to in-laws I understand sometimes they may get at you unnecessarily…And at that time I perfectly understand if you don't want to listen, I wouldn't as well..But normally, when someone is , say, not being mean to you where's the harm in being good?

  15. I agree…we tend to become compassionate and respectful towards those we don't know while we forget to do the same closer to home

  16. Yes, that is alright as long it's their decision…And as long as we love them and they know we do , I think it's in perfect balance…

  19. I think it's great that you are sensitive and too bad everyone isn't. It's unfortunate that older people are often overlooked and he's only 60, not that old! I think you could be a nurse Naba with your caring, sensitivity, and compassion. 🙂 <3

  24. Oh thanks Ell… I have to little patience to be a nurse…But yes sensitive I am, sometimes or maybe at most times 🙂

  25. You make a very important point. Treating elders with patience is a forgotten practise, and I hope we can make a difference with posts like yours!

  27. I think you make a good point and a lot of the reason why a lot of old people are always cranky. They don't like being cast aside or ignored anymore than we would.

  28. I think you make a good point and a lot of the reason why a lot of old people are always cranky. They don't like being cast aside or ignored anymore than we would.

  30. My mother is 80 years old and going through a very tough phase in her health and I hope she comes through it. I can totally relate to your post, it brought tears to my eyes

  31. I was just imagining how Uncle John would have felt that evening 🙁 I don't understand why people are so insensitive. I've seen similar events, people mocking senior citizens publicly while they're trying to say something. I really fail to understand their mindset.

  32. The elderly are my favourite kind of people….My granny is my best friend and God, I cannot see a frown on her cute face.
    We must be patient and compassionate. Sadly like you said, kids these days lack that!

  33. It's absolutely wrong, and it's something I've noticed, too. Perhaps that is why people are so scared to age. Not just the changes in our body or facing our own mortality, but that idea that society will one day ignore you.

  40. That's the worst thing we can do to our elders – treat them as if they don't exist.
    Frankly, I do not understand the stigma attached to old-age homes. As retirement homes they provide round the clock medical facilities, companionship and regular meals to our aged. It's especially useful when your own children are settled in far off countries.

  42. True if there is no other option it certainly can be so..I think what happens is some people stop feeling for their parents for some strange reason and that is not acceptable..Unless ofcourse something huge has transpired causing the rift but it certainly shouldn't be due to old age…

  45. Fully agree with you, Naba. The elderly really need our attention and a caring attitude. Kids today need to know that, because they too will be old some day…it will be their turn to be at the receiving end, which they need to realise today.

  46. Excellent post Naba. It's so ironic that when we are young, our parents answer us, care for us and give us everything without even us asking. But the same children when they grow old, they consider parents views to be stupid and irritating. And moreover, for them parents end up becoming a burden who are left to quietly suffer and die :(.

  47. beautifully written Naba. There are a lot of people, not just elderly who call up customer service just to talk to them. It breaks my heart that old people don't have anyone to listen to.

  48. I think more and more people seem to getting out of touch with their sensitive sides, the disrespect and callousness toward our elders and other older people that you mention is indicative of that. I hope we begin to course correct soon and get back to the basics of what makes us good human beings. One person at a time. Good post, Naba!

  50. Very true Shilpa…I don't know how hard is this concept for them to grab… I wish they realize it sooner than later..

  51. I know…I feel very bad thinking about these things… And honestly I don't understand it as well

  53. True Beloo…I hope we get back to basics sooner than later…and yes one person at a time 🙂

  54. 20160412 junda
    rolex submariner
    designer handbags
    coach outlet online
    valentino shoes
    supra shoes
    skechers shoes
    bottega veneta outlet
    running shoes
    true religion outlet
    fitflops
    cheap ugg boots
    reebok uk
    longchamp
    coach outlet store online
    michael kors handbags
    ray ban sunglass,ray ban sunglasses,ray ban outlet,cheap ray bans,cheap ray ban sunglasses,cheap ray bans,ray bans
    rolex replica watches
    toms outlet
    true religion
    michael kors watches
    ray ban outlet
    ghd hair straighteners
    ralph lauren outlet
    michael kors purses
    canada goose outlet
    fitflops
    jimmy choo outlet
    oakley sunglasses,oakley sunglass,cheap oakley sunglasses,oakley sunglasses cheap,oakley sunglasses outlet,oakley store,oakley outlet,oakley outlet store,oakley sunglasses sale,oakley sunglasses discount
    louis vuitton pas cher
    coach outlet
    converse
    christian louboutin outlet
    michael kors outlet
    coach purses
    coach factory outlet

Comments are closed.