I was wondering if this space is dead already. I’ll tell you why. I have been meaning to write a post for so long. But I don’t feel like I have anything left to say. This blog, to be honest, seems to be past its prime, but I thought I should make at least a few attempts to revive it. So, let’s do a free write today, a monologue perhaps, where I tell you what’s going on without divulging much. Maybe a post where I tell you about what I have been wondering about? I suppose the ease with which I used to ramble here has disappeared with age. Still, let’s do this.

25 days into this new year already, and I haven’t done anything new. I don’t feel renewed or excited. Perhaps, I need a vacation. Or, maybe, I’m just exhausted by this constant repetition that life has become. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for everything, but I’m also completely drained of energy. All I want to do is hide at home with a book and with the people I love. But that’s just impractical. Forever the existential question, am I doing what I’m meant to do? But I don’t think I’m ready to explore the answer. Anyway, more on that later.

Work isn’t life but just a part of it.

By the way, have you noticed how cringe Linkedin is these days? Everyone out there is giving a life lesson. Is this how people are going to behave now? There have always been over-eager people at work, annoying Dwights but worse, but now they are everywhere. Is it hard to understand the simple fact that work isn’t life but just a part of it? But I forget unless you project hustle culture, how can you be “successful’? Dreadful, the way things are going.

Have you noticed how cringe Linkedin is these days?

In my years in this corporate jungle, I have realised that it is a world of jargon like sustainability, collaboration, and innovation. Oh, how I detest these words! You spew big words here and there, step on others to go forward, and don’t have a personal life or a personality apart from the fake one you project, and maybe, just maybe, you have a chance. But if that workplace is gone, what will you do? If you don’t have a circle to call your own apart from the people at work, who, let me be honest, are never really your own, who or what will you have? I pity these folks. And I also realise that corporate is no place for people who do the work or have a conscience and a life. It’s not for warm and sensitive souls because it’s lifeless and ruthless. But it’s here to stay. The Nadellas, the Pichais and their cheap copies in every office are here to stay.

The Nadellas, the Pichais and their cheap copies in every office are here to stay.

Well, that was heavy. Wasn’t it? Let’s talk about something else. I have started learning Kathak again. It’s been a few months, and it gives me a lot of joy. Of course, I would have loved to go more than once a week but, well, life. Still, there is a satisfaction in doing something for yourself, which women often forget. We do so much. God! we do so much and more than half of it without realising or getting anything in return. Our default mode is to sacrifice without even registering it. That is why my books and now dance are things I don’t want to let go of ever. If possible, that is.

What else should I bore you with now? Remember, I had written a book? Letters In Ice? I have stopped promoting it because it’s tiresome. If you are an Indie-Author, which Google says is what I am, nobody wants to read your book or give you a chance. I understand. So, I have done my part, put the book out in the universe and perhaps, from time to time, I’ll post a link here and there. But that is all I can do.

I do have a few other ideas. Not sure if I have the time to translate them into books though. Maybe one day? Until then, I want to read as many books as possible before my time is up.

Did I tell you about my obsession with BTS? First, my sister and M fell in love with this fantastic Korean band. I couldn’t be left behind, could I? And now I’m in awe of everything Korean, their shows, music and skincare products. Who knew you could become a fan of something new well into your 30s too? Because weren’t women supposed to atrophy at the stroke of the midnight hour on turning 30? Also, I thought I had left this streak behind in my teens. But, well, life keeps surprising you. Maybe, I’ll become more fun in my 40s. Who knows?

I was wondering the other night how 3 years of my life have been taken away by Covid. But then, in these 3 years, I could be around M more. I’m thankful for that. Also, I could work from home and in a space that comforts me the most. I hope that in the name of ‘collaboration’, the powers that be don’t snatch away this little piece of sanity from life. I have spoken to many women, and all of them have told me how it’s easier to balance work, home and children if they are allowed to work from home. But most decision-makers are men, whether you like it or not. They will never understand what it is to have to run from home to work and back home, doing everything. Let’s face it men don’t have to multitask. They have the gift and privilege of focusing on their careers without distraction. They can go gallivanting around the office because they don’t have to worry about what is to be cooked at home, put away the dishes or even plan things for their kids. There are exceptions, but exceptions don’t make the rule. I cannot tell you what I want to do when folks behave as if being at the office is the only way. I mean, you do what you want to do, John. But stop thinking one size fits all and stop asking where I’m working from unless I’m working from your home.

Well, I think I have said a lot today. I’m all over the place, to be honest. But something is better than nothing, isn’t it?

So, tell me anything.