This year has been quite the roller-coaster ride. So far at least. The first two months were spent fighting the HRs and Managers of the organisation where I work so that I could join my husband in Germany. Eventually I did. No thanks to them. After that S and I spent three beautiful months travelling. We really enjoyed some quality time together savoring the European winter followed by spring. But the fairy-tale ended as I had to get back to work. I had to come back harping that tune whereas truth be told I don’t really love what I do for a living. The confused soul that I’m! Strangely now I look back and think – What was the rush?
Well now I can’t really turn back time, can I? So I guess I’ll have to live with it. Then came June. With it came health issues and so far I see no respite from them. A few days better than the rest certainly but the battle still wages on. But I’m somehow trying to be positive and hoping that it ends soon. Meanwhile can I let you in on a secret? It’s damn hard being positive. It’s probably right up there very close to giving birth to a child or getting yourself operated without anesthesia. God it’s tough!
Anyways, as September begins I find myself wishing for a bright day when everyone in my family can breathe easy. Until then the best I can do is write. I guess you knew that already, didn’t you?
In other news this month too I plan to continue with Write Tribe’s Pro Bloggers Challenge wherein we sincerely attempt to blog every day. Truth be told nothing pacifies me more than writing. I think it is because I can’t express myself well when it comes to doing it vocally. It always happens that I ultimately end up saying something completely different from what I actually intended. Maybe that’s why writing, good or bad, is therapeutic for me. Maybe that’s why I should write. And maybe that’s why I will.
So today I’m planning to do a fill in the blanks kind of post. You know like the post – I’m Blank Because….Only this time it will be about something else.
I’m thinking it should be something like ‘I’m misjudged because…’
Good?
Well, let’s give it a try and see. Shall we?
So here goes.
I’m misjudged because….
I often think from my heart. I know it’s not possible and a terrible combination at that but I really do that.
I’m driven by emotions when it comes to people I love and that makes me vulnerable, prone to mistakes.
I’m terrible at expressing myself during arguments. So there, instead of solving I make things even more complicated.
I have too high expectations from those around me.
I get really angry when disappointed and in that I sometimes end up hurting, people I care about, unintentionally of course.
I feel so guilty after my bouts of anger that I tend to overcompensate which trust me is not pleasant.
I have the inability to fake or pretend when it comes to my feelings about someone and that always lands me in trouble. Always.
So there by now you probably must be thinking I’m such a disaster. You know you aren’t wrong in assuming that. I certainly am a walking, talking and writing disaster in many ways. But then that’s just me!
But there must also be something in you that people fail to understand. What is it that causes you being misunderstood? Now now don’t you go away without telling me that!
I love reading your posts, Naba. There's so much of depth in it, like there's a piece of your soul somewhere 🙂
I hope things get better for you soon, Naba. Did you have a good time in Germany? I was born there and went back to visit a year ago. Health problems are always difficult and it doesn't help when you're not happy with your job either. Wish you all the best for the future.
I think you are a champ, Naba. Things will be better. What goes down must bounce back up, no? Hugs to you! I hope you Mom is recovering quickly!
First of all a big hug, Naba. Thank you for sharing. I've been misjudged several times and frankly, I don't care any more. As long as I'm being true to myself and to those that really matter to me, to hell with the others. And about the job, if you don't like it, I'm certain you're talented enough to create something for yourself – something that you're passionate about. Life is too short to be unhappy, no?
Nabha, life is tough and people hate giving a break to nice people just because it will make them look inferior.
In this world of mean people there are an equal number of good ones.
Never feel bad for having a heart. That is what keeps the world going. The good things in life are just around the corner.
Never give up.
I loved the poem…It laid bare your heart.
Lots of hugs and all best for your health issues.
God bless. Take care.
Aww Naba it needs such courage to write with honesty. I do hope people who've misjudged you re reading it and realise your true worth. As for the bad times… Yeah it's tough to have to live through them but the good thing is they never last forever, so hang in there. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way :-).
It isnt about proclaiming yourself a disaster and letting it stay that way. Trust me, if you know half of what I've seen and faced in life, you would ask me what keeps me motivated or gives me the will to even get up in the morning?
The idea is to keep yourself positive – believe against the odds that a better happier day is coming. Focus on that instead of the pain, no matter how much the latter is consuming you.
Getting into trouble is something that affects both the brash as well as the meek. It is how you choose to react when you're trouble that will define whether you swim or sink… I sincerely hope to see you swimming 🙂
I can relate to this. And knowing myself, I can assure you that you are not a disaster! There are mean, selfish, extremely bitchy people in this world. The loving and caring ones are awesome people and if someone has a problem with you then it's their loss, not yours 🙂
"I think from my heart"! So true, i could relate to all that you have written. I love reading your posts because you write with your heart and somehow even though I don't know you yet i feel I do! Does this makes sense. well all the best for your hubby and your health.Take care.
Hugs Naba. It is never easy to satisfy everyone. So I stopped trying. Now, I'm happy being me. Very glad to see you blogging again. 🙂
I can relate to this. I can not express myself vocally as well. And that makes me end up in situations unimaginable!
We all have our quirks which land us in trouble of this type 🙂 I can relate to the point about anger and then feeling guilty afterwards and trying to compensate for that! All the best for everything. Things will soon be better!
Believe me…I search for apt words when I'm angry…most of the times I remain silent and that disappoints the opponent…:-P …we all have certain whims Nabanita and those sometimes become our positive points too…be true to yourself..your heart and conscience…I think these things matter most..at least to me… 🙂
Hope things look up soon. I am misjudged too. Unless it is someone close, I've stopped caring. Take care.
Hey, take care…there's light at the end of the tunnel, no matter his long it is…even I think from the heart like u and often end up getting hurt.
I can relate to this. I have the inability to fake or pretend too and thinking from the heart makes things worse. But with time, I am getting a bit better but still a long way to go!
Misjudged?? Always?? I used to think it was cos I was not good enough…. but now I know it's cos I'm like this and this is Me. Life is always a roller-coaster ride, stay strong as you are. Hugs and loads of love. <3
Oh…My hugs to you Naba.. How I identify with each one!
Dear Naba I can very well understand and judge your thoughts. In every body's life a moment comes when you are misunderstood by others. The world is full of people who enjoy at the cost of others' misery. Some time,some where you will find a small light.,to show you the way. All the best! Be Happy!!
I like this template more… 🙂
Yes September is here and its hard to believe.
Its better to be misjudged than to pretend what you are not
I am glad everything is slowly turning right in the health front and that you got to vacation for 3 months.
And it is ok to be misjudged….You have your heart at the right place 😀
I can relate to the reasons you've written about getting misjudged. I'm prone to temper bursts and flare up when disappointment creeps in. As a result I end up hurting the people I love..:-( Hope the health issues are all sorted soon and year ends better for you, Naba!