I’m Not Perfect But Happy


How much do you know yourself? Yes, you.
I often wonder if I really do know myself well. Actually, there are times when I feel S or my sis know me more than I actually do. They seem to be always aware of how I’m going to react or when; and on what issues too. Strangely, they also appear to know what I’m going to say. Yes, even before I do. I guess it is indeed possible for people to grasp about you more than you do yourself. But you really need to be lucky for that to happen, I feel. After all how many would take the pain to do that for you? Just a handful, probably.
I’m happy I have a few in my life who can foresee my moves. It’s great actually. But I digress. That’s not what I’m here to talk about today.
I’m here to do a writing sprint; an exercise in limited time, say 10 minutes, where I scribble down things about me, my qualities rather, that I’m not so proud of. In the process also be as honest as possible. Not for your pity or sympathy either. But why then?
Well, I want to see how it feels. Moreover, don’t you think it is easier to talk about our good qualities rather than those which clearly aren’t? It is so important to know and acknowledge the latter, especially in relationships. A rapport based on the knowledge of short comings, those thorny truths, is one with greater life expectancy than the one confined to roses. So, maybe I just want to see if you come back to read my posts after finding out some ugly truths about me here today. Ready?
So, here goes.
10..9..8..
·         I have a very volatile temper. When completely under its influence, I’ve done and said things I’m not proud of.
·         I try not to but, more often than not, I end up judging people.
·         I see and anticipate the worst in people. Sometimes, I don’t even give them second chances.
·         I can lie without batting an eyelid, which is great at times but not so much at others.
·         I want to be the center of attention always. Not such a nice trait I hear.
·         I don’t believe in forgiveness. Never worked for me, I’ve tried it once or twice.
·         I don’t like being criticized at all.
·         I hate it when people don’t agree with what I have to say. Yes, I believe in tolerance but easier said than done right?
·         I dislike people who sit on the fence when it comes to women’s issues. There’s no limit to my dislike for them.
·         I’m the resentful employee who hates most things about her employer.
·         I’m very impatient, to the point of annoying people actually. I want everything to be done here and now. I wonder how my team tolerates me.
·         I want everything to be as per my whims and fancies.
·         I have very strong opinions and am not easily swayed. Even when I know I’m wrong, I rarely admit it.
Well, that’s all I could think of in 10 minutes.
How do I feel?
Considerably light actually. One because I don’t mind sharing these facts about myself at all. Two, it feels good to be standing on such solid ground, mentally and emotionally, where talking about my own negatives doesn’t hurt. And lastly, you ought to know these things about me if you ever want to be my BFF, don’t you?
Now, this list is not for you to pity me but maybe you can share a thing or two about you too? We all have our so called ‘dark sides’ and I feel it’s good to acknowledge it as long as we don’t let it take over completely.

So, tell me?


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Linking this to One Word Blog Link Up hosted by Lisa of The Golden Spoons & Janine of Confessions of a Mommyaholic. This week, the word prompt choices were Happy & Pity. I kind of used both!

36 thoughts on “I’m Not Perfect But Happy”

  1. It truly does help sharing the good and bad about yourself to feel more happy and can't argue that. Thanks for sharing 😉

  2. You are brave to confess your dark side. So often online, we try our best to only show the good stuff, and conceal the bad. Not easy to let it all hang out!

    I have many traits I'm not proud of as do we all. I am overly sensitive, take criticism too personally, have a bad temper, and am very disorganized. Also I tend to procrastinate and be complacent which makes me feel sluggish and blah. I need to light a fire under my butt now and then to get going on projects. Deadlines work well for that.

  3. Agree with Cathy! Very brave of you to share your dark side. It's not easy. I am impatient and can't suffer silly people easily. It takes a long time for me to forget a hurt or a pain. I strongly believe in some of my opinions and nobody can convince me otherwise!

  4. It's awesome that you can talk about it. I'm so proud of you 🙂

    I have a short fuse too and I have no belief in the term called forgiveness at all. I don't know why, but I just can't forgive. You know at times, that's a good trait.

  5. I think it's great to be so honest about yourself. Really! If I had to sit and list my weaknesses, would I be this honest and open? Food for thought. I have been forthcoming in my blog about a lot of things. Time to think things through. Nice one, Naba!

  6. I lack self confidence and am constantly critical of myself – especially my physical traits. I can also be indecisive. I am very non-confrontational, which can sometimes be good, but sometimes ends up with me not standing up for something when I really should.

  7. I would say you are too bold to be open like this. Not many can do like that. Every one has dark sides and I too have. I am too patient to be taken as weak. I am too submissive that makes me not at all aggressive. Sometimes, at work I need to be told to give it a damn and that is perceived as less courageous. Gosh! Too many follies but we are who we are.
    You seem to be an open an honest woman and that's a big quality. Nice post Nabanita!

  8. You lady, spelt out the most common demons that most of us harbour inside of us. It is only human to be so and super-human to accept them (As most do not). In all fairness, you seem to be a good person (A nice chap!, as a Briton would remark)

  9. Myself- judgemental; painting life/people in black & white; opinionated; and several more. However, as none of us are above criticism, I feel, looking within every now & then is essential as it helps to keep me grounded, correct myself and grow as a person. An interesting post indeed Naba :).

  10. Such a strong post, that's the word that immediately came to mind when I read it. You really are a courageous person to put it all out there. We all have our long list of weaknesses, shortcomings, limitations, challenges – whatever one might call them. This negative side of ours, these imperfections and weaknesses are what makes us vulnerably human, I suppose. Trust me, I have my own share, including a few of the ones you list 🙂 But having lived on this planet a little longer than you, I have come to realise that it is important to be aware of our weaknesses but not to dwell upon these. Because this negative path of self-improvement or inner progress doesn't really work in the long run. A more positive path (but not in the egoistic sense of pseudo-self-esteem-building type) would be to become more keenly aware of how and when we are able to overcome even a tiny little bit of any of our weakness(es). That builds confidence. I know, it is easier said than done, but then the other negative path can also lead to unnecessary depression or excessive self-criticism which isn't healthy. At least this is what I have learned from my experience.

  11. Ohh I'm not too good with deadlines Cathy…I'm lazy and hate having to do things before the last moment 😀
    And yes it's not easy to write about our flaws..There are more I want to write about which I will get to in time I hope…

  12. Well, I guess we share the same feeling on the subject of forgiveness and I love that 🙂

    Thanks Soumya!

  13. And I have learnt how to be forth coming in my blog from wonderful people like you Shailaja… What are we if not with some faults that we can talk about …?

  14. I can be non-confrontational too at times and sometimes I just can't tolerate someone else's stand which doesn't go with mine.

  15. Thanks Parul… It feel good to be able to do it…And that's not the entire list too, I have way more flaws and some I want to write about more …

  16. True Anita , we should take a look every once in a while, introspect and maybe become somewhat better…

    Glad you found the post interesting 🙂

  17. Absolutely Beloo…. I think to know our weakness and then tread a more positive path to try and correct even a minute aspect of that is what we should aim at… Dwelling on our negatives can bring no good, being aware of them certainly can ..:)

  18. Naba, so great of you to come forth like this with who you are in totality. It is both your positives and negatives that make you. And more than anything this exercise makes you more aware of yourself.
    And just wanted to add, I totally love such posts from you. Honest and always providing food for thought!

  19. Quite a few traits mirror me 😀 Not that I am proud of it either but admitting it is the first step to changing it 😀

  20. I've always admired you Naba for saying it like it is and it takes tremendous courage to share your weaknesses like this in public, online. For myself, I too am overly sensitive to criticism; however, at times I remind myself that it isn't always about me and not to take things personally. 😉 I can be 'rebellious' at times by going against the status quo (not in a 'bad' way), sometimes in order to be different as I don't wish to be the "same" as everyone: I am an individual and unique! 😉 <3

  21. You brave brave girl. People find it difficult to admit their faults even to themselves. Writing it out for the world to read is truly brave and also the sign of a very self assured person. As for the weaknesses themselves – well we all have some or all of them. And the first step to doing something about them is being aware. So you're somewhat there. A superstar – that's what you are.

  22. Takes a strong person to be honest, Naba, which you obviously are. I also think you are adorable and sensitive. I have a feeling that you've turned many of these points into strengths, which is why people love you.

    Hugs! You know, once in a while I bug my friends asking them to list three things they hate about me, because it is always interesting to hear. 🙂

    It has been a while since I did this exercise of listing not-so-great things about me. My Mom encouraged this every once in a while., because if we can live with ourselves comfortably, that's the greatest thing on earth. Hugs! Take care. 🙂

  23. Anyone who can be this honest is a good person in my book. The only thing I would caution you Nabanita is to avoid writing negative things about your employer on social media. It will go against you even with prospective employers. Unfortunately honesty is something people fear

  24. Let me start with a Ditto to Point #1, #2, #9 and #11.

    Now that that is out of the way, I must say that I admire your honesty. It takes a very strong person to share their less-than-perfect side with the world at large. You inspire me, Naba. 🙂

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