I was in the 6th standard when I first got my periods. Truth be told, I thought something was really wrong with me. I remember my sister making plans for us to play hopscotch the next day while I was convinced that my playing days were now over. In fact, I thought that the pad would now be my companion every single day for the rest of my life. I didn’t know anything about periods at all. In fact, I didn’t find out much about it until many years later. But two things were clear from the onset. One, it had to be a secret. Two, it was not clean, at least perceived to be so.
Fortunately, I don’t belong to a family where I was made to sleep on the floor or eat separately during periods. I could touch pickles, eat whatever I wanted and even go out. If anything mum would take great care of us. But there was still that thing about not being able to enter the temple at home during that time of the month. And yes being secretive about it. Somehow though I never did subscribe to those ideas even at that age and regularly flouted the so-called norms of worship and secrecy. Of course, at that time I never thought as to why. But now that I think about it, I must have got that from my mother. You know even though she set out those two rules, I always had the feeling that she didn’t like following those either. She always did have that rebellious spirit and still does. Anyway.
A few years down the line when I was in the 9th standard, our Biology teacher skipped the entire chapter on Reproductive Systems, our first opportunity to know more about our bodies and it’s working, about periods and menstrual health. In spite of being an all girls school, discussing something so intrinsic to human life was avoided. So, even after 3 years of getting my periods, I was in the dark about it.
Why are periods still a taboo?
What bothered me about all these, at a later point in time, of course, was that nobody was willing to talk and educate us about our biology. In fact, we were being taught to be ashamed about something so natural. The words periods or menstruation were to be spoken in hushed tones. We were being made to believe that we were dirty during those four or five days. There was something so wrong with this approach to a topic so crucial to women’s health. And sadly there is still something wrong with it. Why do we need to hide women’s health behind a purdah of shame just because the society isn’t comfortable?
My sister got her first period when she was just 10 years old. Imagine a kid that small being made to feel that she needs to hide something. That’s not right, is it?
Menstruation and periods are not dirty words. #WomensHealth Share on X
Now that I have a daughter, I have vowed to make sure that she never feels ashamed of being a girl, that she isn’t ashamed of bleeding monthly whenever that happens. Uncomfortable, of course, she can be and she will be because it’s not all sunshine and roses as shown in the ads. But she’s not going to feel that she needs to be sorry about getting a period or being a girl. And that’s why I’m talking about it and will continue to do so.
Often when a woman talks about period pains or the mood swings with someone from the opposite sex, the reaction varies from discomfort to ignoring the whole thing as overreaction. Well, the thing is, you need to live with monthly bleeding for about 20 to 30 years to understand what a pain it is. Yes, it is a pain. So, when a man ridicules this biological reality of women, it reaffirms my belief that we need to talk more and more about periods, educate them and make them aware. Make the society aware.
Menstruation or monthly is nothing to be embarrassed about. There is no need to hide the sanitary napkins when we go to buy them from the medical store or the supermarket. You can do anything and everything you want because there is nothing unnatural about periods. And regarding those religious beliefs, it is up to each individual. But I would also like to stress since God made women this way, I don’t see God having a problem with our periods. Makes no sense to me.
Some statistics for you
According to a study, 71% of girls in India report to having no knowledge of Menstruation before their first periods.
About 70% of mothers consider menstruation dirty which only adds to the taboo.
28% of students in India do not go to school during their periods due to the lack of facilities.
Many women in India still use reusable clothe to absorb menstrual blood which is not conducive to health. This happens in urban areas too.
(Source 1, Source 2 )
I think creating awareness is essential as menstrual hygiene is a health issue. After some research, I was happy to see that there are resources and organisations like Menstrupedia working towards this very goal. We need to reiterate that menstruation and periods are not dirty words. Little girls need to be educated and made aware of something which is to the core of their biology. And the start has to be made by each one of us.
Our approach needs to change from a talk after periods or an uncomfortable crash course on contraceptives before the wedding night. We need to be able to see health issues as health issues. We need to see women’s health issues as health issues. Period. (Pun intended)
Are you with me?
You can read my other posts on periods here: My experiment with a pack of Sanitary Pads and Why the secrecy Ma’am?
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This post is part of the #IAmAFeminist series on the blog. Inspired by a TEDx talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – We Should All Be Feminists, I intend to talk about the need for feminism through my posts, posts on my experience and observation as a female. I intend to talk about issues concerning women.
Join me and let’s work towards a world of gender parity. Remember, each voice counts. Tell me your story.
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Linking to #mg hosted by Mackenzie Glanville
Thank you for highlighting these so-called ‘taboo’ aspects of society Naba. It’s not just useful for young parents who wonder how to reassure their child, but also the opposite gender which learns to be more understanding.
Totally Naba. There is a lot of openness that we still need in our society. Surprised that your Bio teacher did that. I was in a co-ed and we did that chapter though she did warn us not to giggle. One step at a time, we have to spread the word and remove the taboo around menstruation.
I am definitely with you. I grew up in a similar household and I am very clear that my daughter will not need to keep this as a secret.
It’s sad and unfortunate we have been conditioned to believe it as a taboo, when it’s so natural. I got it on my 10th birthday during the birthday party. I didn’t even understand what was wrong with me.
We definitely need to talk more about periods. Period. I have written my own periods story on my blog. I got it when I was 12 and I thought I cried profusely thinking I had got pregnant. How does a girl actually get pregnant was alien concept for me, so this was it. Over the years, every month I struggled with severe cramps and when I used to decline my brother’s demand to play cricket or badminton with him citing stomach ache, he would promptly mention (every given time) “Moti, kam khaya kar” hahah. It seemed funny then and it still does. I am surprised why didn’t your biology teacher cover that chapter in the class inspite of being a All girls school. When I was in 9th grade, we had a gents biology teacher and he did cover the chapter in the class, but with closed text book. I was absent that day and I missed the fun of having to hear and bear all of that in a class comprising of more boys than girls.
Oh yes. What about all the code words too, Naba. I think I shock people when I talk openly about pre-menopause as well.
My Bio teacher of 8th grade in Kendriya Vidyalaya handled the reproduction chapter exceedingly well. She was thoroughly professional, didn’t falter on the subject at all. Perhaps, that gave all students the confidence to sit through the class without feeling embarrassed, that too, in the mid-1980’s. Though, the college going male urban youth today is more aware of stomach cramps and mood swings among girls during menstruation, the topic needs more awareness at the pre-teen age to banish any taboos associated with periods.
Sadly it is a lot of women who contribute to this taboo around menstruation. My mother put no restrictions on me and I was free to do as I like while on my period. But things change drastically once I got married. There were restrictions, being looked down upon, treated like an untouchable and all that. The worse thing was that I had to go and inform my MIL whenever I got my period. That was one of the worse tortures that I’ve had to face in my life. It has scarred me somewhere deeply.
We did the reproduction class in school too and it was not awkward. Mainly because it was an all girls schools. We used to have videos shows on a regular basis regarding the changes in a woman’s body and how it is not something dirty or something to be looked upon. I’m proud to have come out of such a school.
M’s lucky to have you. Young parents should imbibe in their daughters that this is one of the most natural things in the world. There are more grave issues to worry about.
Interesting post. It amazes me that in this day and age periods do still seem to be a taboo subject. I often make light of the day I first started my period. It was the year 2000 and it was just after I’d come out of the interactive science Womb room in the now defunct millennium dome. I know, the irony. #mg
The statistics are shocking and it shows the need for voices to come out. The taboo must be broken and as much as women speaking about it, wish men would come out and speak about it rather than feeling shy even mentioning the term. The awareness must be raise dby one and all and not just women.
I could not agree more. I have written about the topic and I have been lucky that parents and in-laws have been good. Of course, no talking but I visit temples, touch pickles and get to be who I am. But many girls don’t. It saddens me when I hear about these restrictions.
I’m glad you’re creating awareness about this. My mum (in 1980s England) was terrible and couldn’t even raise the subject. I dealt with everything myself and went out and bought my own period products, then told her after a year because I felt it was wrong that she didn’t know. She could barely look at me and seemed to be cringing with embarrassment. I’d be sad to think that any mothers were still like she was.
It’s so important to raise awareness! My mother saved the “Period Talk” for after I got my first period, which made the day I actually got my period terrifying and emotional. I wish she had of warned me first, so I didn’t think I was dying when I went to the bathroom and found blood. I also wish the “Period Talk” that came after I got mine, included things like pads vs tampons and what to expect for flow (I actually thought I would leak like a faucet so I ran to the bathroom every 20 minutes for the first few periods).
My girlfriend has created an entire “period kit” for her daughters, filled with pads, tampons, wipes, midol and chocolate. She gave it to them with a long explanation on what to expect, why it’s natural and beautiful, and why it’s important to tell her when it happens. She wants them to be OK even if she’s not home when it happens. I plan, if I am ever blessed with a Daughter, to do that for her, too.
Hear hear! Those statistics are shocking. It’s so sad that simply because of biology, almost 1/3 of girls are missing out on so much school. It’s not as if life isn’t already stacked against them.
Even here in New Zealand, talking about periods/menstruation is pretty much a no-no. I remember trying to hide the fact that I had my period from my Dad, when of course he knew, and I would have died if I thought the boys at school, or men in my office, knew when I had my period. I’m so glad that the next generation has people like you who are determined to change that for the girls of today.
I am so with you. I think it’s a little different in our area of the US where information about periods is taught in schools and most mothers have already spoken to their daughters about periods before it happens. But in other parts of the US, not so much.
I am sure the new generation will be without taboo as they will be raised by the likes of you, who will stop every kind of stereotype related to menstruation. I can’t seem to imagine where actually the concept of dirty came into being. On one hand shiva lingam is prayed while on the other hand the process that actually aids in bearing children is called dirty. Oh the logic of people. Wonderful post Naba. Very honest and impressive.
I wish more people would speak more openly about it. All of us have our period stories and wish we could stop calling it dirty. Excellent post and I am sharing this.
I agree with you on we need to be the change. With my little one, I have not just had talks with her but talk to her as I would with any other topic. She now realises that there is nothing to be hesitant about. Sadly her peer group does not feel the same way.
I love how you raise awareness and empower women and young girls! This is a great message and I talk to my 12 and 9 year old girls openly about it. I tell them it is something to celebrate and feel proud of. Neither have it yet, but I don’t ever want them to fear it. #mg