Dear M,
How are you, my munchkin?
I wanted to talk to you about something. Hence, I thought it’s about time I write a letter to my daughter again.
I woke up feeling slightly heavy hearted today. I don’t know, it could be something I read. Or, it could have been a bad dream. I wasn’t sure. But something was definitely bothering me. You know that nagging feeling that something is not right. Then you take a quick stock of things and everything important seems to be alright. Still, that feeling refuses to go away. Well, that was how my day began and I kept thinking about what is it that’s gnawing at me.
A few hours passed as I stayed restless when I realised maybe I should make a gratitude list. A five-finger gratitude list to be more precise, to help deal with how anxious I was feeling. As I was making the list M, I understood what it was that was bothering me. I guess the clogs in the brain needed to be in the grateful frame of mind to be unclogged. So, yes, what was bothering me?
Well, it was the fear that at any moment the status quo that I had in life could be toppled. Do you know what that made me realise? Two things really.
The first was that I need to be grateful for what I have. Well, more often really. I need to truly stop focusing on all the non-issues, on people who don’t matter and on problems which aren’t really problems. I need to make the most of what I have and bask in the love that I’m fortunate to have.
So, M, there will be times in life, actually most times in life, you’ll probably forget to be grateful. A bad colleague at work, a verbal altercation with someone or even feeling stuck in the same place for ages, all of these and more could frustrate you. When these happen as humans, we have this tendency to focus on the negatives. It’s like gravity pulling us away from making the most of the positives. It happens and it is bound to happen to you too. But in those moments try to think of all that you have and draw your strength from that.
The second lesson that I was reminded of today was that even though you might focus on the positives, you might not immediately feel good. The anxiety might not vanish immediately. There’s no switch. It takes time. These days there is this trend to not let anything negative affect you. There is so much talk of positive outlook that we tend to forget that sometimes it’s okay to feel bad, to feel low. It’s okay to feel anxious sometimes. It’s okay to feel upset. It’s okay to be vulnerable. Of course, you must make the effort to come out of it but don’t deny yourself the emotions that you are feeling in the first place. Don’t feel guilty for it is what I’m trying to say. Sometimes, you need to go through these to take them all out of your system. Try not to stay there but never feel ashamed of negative emotions. I tend to forget this often. So, this letter is a kind of reminder to me as well.
Life is unpredictable so even though I have tried to focus on the positives, I know how transient they can be. So, I’m still kind of uneasy as I reach the end of the letter, but it’s okay. I’m still going to focus on the positives to go through this day. And when you are older and have a similar kind of day, I want you to think of this letter. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll help you in some way.
Love,
Mum
Using a gratitude list to change one’s focus for the better and learn about patience is a great life-skill.
I teared up reading this. My daughter is only 4, but there is so much I want to tell her about life.
How sweet is this!! My daughter is 8 months old, but i can’t wait to teach her all about life! there is so much for her to learn!
The gratitude list sounds like a good idea. I feel like we all should be grateful for what we already have, one day we may not! Greediness is a bad thing. Doesn’t necessarily mean we shouldn’t aim for higher things, but we should still take time to appreciate what we already have.
And feeling sad/bad/angry/ happy/and so on is always good, we need to feel all of our emotions in order to function like a proper human being and how we deal with the emotions and how we work with them is how we grow.
This is such a sweet post! I love the concept of writing a letter to your daughter! I guess there is so much you want to tell your kids about life. And it is great to guide them, provide advice that they will know to use when they need it the most!
There’s nothing like the love between a mother and a daughter. And this letter proves this once again that It’s true that the bond between a mother and a daughter is something
Aw, this is such a sweet letter to your daughter! These are some wonderful lessons here.
This is such a lovely letter, and one interesting read. I love how you remind your daughter that it is okay to feel bad or vulnerable sometimes, as long as you make the effort to come out of it.
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What a sincere letter written to daughter. I see love, advice and feeling being expressed in word. Life is unpredictable and we shall be kind to each other and be grateful.
What a beautiful and honest letter your daughter. I love that you are teaching her values, real values in life to guide her through her amazing journey.
How sweet mom! Your daughter must be feeling so loved. And I agree that anxiety might not always go away ASAP but it’s important to ensure we don’t let the negative affect us.
This is so beautiful and such a wonderful way to show your daughter how much you care. Anxiety is always a struggle but it sounded like you had an awesome way of grounding yourself.
True. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay. I think I heard that first from Jesse J. Or was it Lady Gaga? Anyways, I think it’s normal not to be happy all the time. First of all, how would you know if you’re really happy if you haven’t experienced sadness?
I’d love to receive a letter like this from my mom. 🙂 Your daughter is so lucky.
This is such a sweet letter to your daughter and filled with some life lessons for her. It is good to be grateful and I agree that it can be easy to forget to be grateful because of circumstances, it happens to me a lot. I also agree that it is okay to feel low. Anxiety is hard. Focusing on positives is a good way to help. I hope she reads this when she is older and that she understands your advice to her because it came from a place of love.
The idea of a gratitude letter is worth passing on to our children. its not only for them, as adults it brings about a solace and a means to stay connected with our life and days.
Gratefulness is such an important emotion in life. Without it, we fall into the envy trap and start comparing our situation to others rather than seeing the beauty in the situation we have and giving ourselves the opportunity to be happy. Great note to your daughter.
That is such a sweet letter, My son is 2 years old and i remember writing a letter when he turned 1 so that he will read it as he grows.
It’s so heartfelt, you made me tear up! I think this letter is beautiful and any daughter would appreciate getting this. Thank you for sharing it with us as well.
I love this idea. I want to be a mom soon and was thinking about doing something like this. Awesome to teach them through writing your thoughts on important topics such as these. So sweet and thanks for sharing