(Letters to my daughter)

Credit | A. and I. Kruk via Shutterstock

Dear M,

Here I am again with another letter to you. It’s just one of those days, a day for a letter to my daughter. But don’t worry, I’ll try not to turn this into a sermon. Promise.

Now, Munchkin, as you grow up you’ll learn among many things one of the much-repeated truths of life, change. You will learn that change is the only constant. You’ll learn life means change. But the question is, will you like every change? Well, take it from your mom that you probably won’t. And let you in on a secret? I hate change.

Yes, your mom hates change. Well, not in everything because obviously, I would love a change of job right about yesterday! Or, a long weekend every week for that matter! But some things I just don’t want them to change at all. Ever. And today I’m going to tell you about what those things are for me. And one day I’m sure you’ll tell me about yours.

Remember M, how in my last letter I told you about the importance of family? You know that as long as you have your family loving and supporting you in everything you do, supporting you even to right your wrongs, standing by you even if they are probably pulling at their hairs for the mistakes you keep making, life will be bearable? Well, that is one of those things that should never ever change. I cannot imagine what I would do if that constant in my life was not to be anymore.

Let’s just say the family is that pillar in life that should withstand all changes and still be standing tall, supporting you.

Of course, there are other things that I wish never change, the way your eyes light up when you are thinking of some mischief. Or, how you run to me when I reach your daycare. The way you kiss me good morning the moment you wake up after a nap. Or, the way you recite your rhymes before going to sleep. That love, this bond should never change, only mature.

Some things in life I just don’t want them to change at all.

There is a comfort in the familiar, in set routines and maybe that’s why I don’t like change. But I also know how sometimes or rather at most times the only way to get out of a rut is to shake things up, leaving the known to venture into the unknown, into something better.

I know I should be the last one to tell you that change isn’t always great. Because let’s face it, life is all about change, change that keeps happening every single day. But I have to be true to you. I can’t ask you to accept the changes that life will bring your way when I find it difficult myself to do so in certain aspects of it.

Something happened today which actually triggered this letter if I am to be completely honest with you. When I called your grandfather this morning, he told me that he was out, driving around the city ticking off chores. You know that’s a normal back home. Something that I had gotten used to. But in the past few weeks with your grandfather being admitted to the hospital and not taking the car out alone, something had shifted. And it bothered me. A lot. That’s why when he told me to call back later because he’s driving, I was over the moon. It might sound trivial but it’s not. It signalled things gradually moving back to the normal that I grew up with and live with now that I’m so far away from them. I needed that.

Life is complex in too many ways and that’s why you need to have your Sheldon’s spot (you’ll learn what that is soon enough) which never changes and is your compass. For me, that’s your grandma picking up the phone in the morning and telling me that she’s too busy to talk to me while I still don’t hang up. For me, it’s your grandfather driving out and about in the city or out of station doing the things that keep him happy and busy. For me, it’s your aunt fighting with me for never giving her too much space yet basking secretly in the glory of my attention. Okay, the last part is just a stretch of my imagination but still. And for me, it’s your dad and I spending lazy weekends together, you being your usual naughty and exhausting self but still the three of us together. I don’t need much provided all these continue to be just how I need them to be. These are the things I wish never change.

As you grow, you’ll learn that change is inevitable. If I look back at my life then even I can see it has been but a series of changes. But even in that, there were certain constants. My beliefs, my faith, my morals and above all my family. These are pillars which we all need in life. These are anchors that prevent our lives from flying out of a safe trajectory. I wish you too find what yours are someday, yet remember that change is alright and often the only driving force of life.

Love,
Mom

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