There are battles each and every one of us has to fight in life. Invisible agonies, hopelessness and this feeling of being trapped sometimes exceeds beyond a point of no return. Maybe then death seems more alluring, almost like escaping a sinking ship or a collapsing building. Maybe.
Have you ever felt this way?
Well, I remember a time when I did feel weighed down by life, just not sure if it was to this extent though. It was the time when S and I were trying to get married. If you are familiar with India, you’ll know how hard marrying the person you love could turn out to be.
My parents had given me a very privileged, happy life. But even they couldn’t save me from the trials and tribulations that a mere attempt at an inter-state marriage could bring about in this country. Of-course, that’s all done and dusted now. Thank God for that. But yes I shudder thinking about that time even now, a time when I felt totally dejected. But even then never for a moment did the thought of suicide cross my mind. Maybe because in many ways my parents had taught me to endure and fight on. Also, and most importantly, because I had S by my side. It was not a battle I was fighting alone.
Having said that, it’s not easy for everybody. No one should ever have to feel this way and if they do, there must be help available. However, there are people who don’t get the support they should. And sadly, we end up losing them to this brute we call suicide.
I have heard my mother speak of an uncle who had, for reasons known only to him, committed suicide when his wife was pregnant with their son. No one knows till date what was bothering him. No one even knew that something was bothering him actually. On the surface he seemed fine, which clearly he wasn’t. Perhaps there were signs which no one picked up on. This was somewhere in the 80s when talking about depression and mental health was frowned upon even more than it is today. My first close brush with suicide came years later when I was in the first year of Engineering. And I didn’t like the feeling one bit.
It was like any other day. We were at the workshop engaged in black smithy, welding, carpentry, etc… one of those subjects in engineering first year. I don’t quite remember which one I was assigned to but I do recall seeing him that afternoon. He was in the welding shop, focused on fusing items together. No he didn’t seem out of the ordinary at all. In fact, you wouldn’t have noticed him either. Actually, neither did I until that terrible, terrible news came out later that night or the next morning perhaps. He was found dead, hanging from the ceiling fan of his hostel room. He had committed suicide because he couldn’t take the ragging anymore.
I don’t know why but I wish I had spoken to him that day. I wish I had told him ragging is just a phase and it will pass. I wish I had told him that 10 years down the line when you look back at the ragging episodes, you’ll only end up laughing. I wish someone had spoken to him.
No, I don’t support ragging and I never ragged any junior ever in my life. But it’s not something we should lose our lives to. I wish I had noticed him when he was in the workshop and not as an afterthought.
As per a report by WHO, every 40 seconds a person dies by suicide somewhere in the world. Imagine!
In India, there is apathy in the attitude towards depression and mental illness. We fail to recognize these as ailments that need to be treated. It’s still a taboo to admit that there is someone in the family suffering from the same. Educated and uneducated alike, there is a dearth of understanding on the magnitude of importance of professional care when it comes to these. That’s why we need to talk about it more and more, spread awareness. That’s why the fight needs to be intensified further. And what better way than each of us pledging to start by changing our own outlook?
So, tell me, will you join me in this?
Will you help the world in #SuicidePrevention in any way you can?
I hope you do!
***
Linking this to #MondayMusings & #MicroblogMondays
 |
| #MicroblogMondays |
 |
| #MondayMusings |
Suicide is the act of sheer desperation and sometimes cannot be stopped……What about people with a terminal illness that is draining their family's resources like a wireman in our building who was going through his savings faster than his dialysis…or the old man who was overcome by grief at the death of his spouse?
Cannot say much about what you wrote. Whatever you have written here , I was able to relate to it (specially that engineering guy thing). Well done
Quite true – people hesitate to ask for help when something is bothering them. They should ….Quite well written. Thanks for sharing
If only, we could reach out to a person with suicidal tendencies before we had a inkling on what's on his mind, we'd have surely talked him out of it. I have had my own experience with a close friend attempting suicide but the person was saved in the nick of time only due to the prompt action taken by us friends. Reaching out for these troubled souls in time is the only way to prevent suicide if we can.
Great post Naba.
It is sad how many people take their own lives convinced that is the best solution to their problems! ♥
definitely .. what can i do to help.. and help is indeed required I know the times when there was no other way but to do the same .. but their are good souls in this world who come to help..
Bikram's
It is sad how many people take their own lives convinced that is the best solution to their problems! ♥
So tragic, Naba. It is the frustration of the thought that one might have made a difference that hurts. My heart goes out to all those who see suicide as an option and I am glad I've made a difference in some lives…I hope there'll be many more during my time.
Yes, I am with you in #SuicidePrevention!
It's sad.. Even I wonder this.. why is it a taboo to seek an external help when one is not feeling mentally Ok.. The least people can do is a consult a doc.. but for that, they first need to admit the same to their own selves!
Very well written Naba 🙂
Cheers
Firstly I quite remember one of your posts which spoke about the great lets get married to a guy from another caste charade 🙂 like ragging I think later in life they too make up for good memories to laugh and at times feel proud on.
Moving on to the real issue here, I wrote something similar on the subject and there in too I stressed on the idea of conversation helping people out of such situations. Simple normal hi hellos..
Yes it is a menace that needs more talking really. In fact I believe even living with the idea of suicide (even if one does not go through thankfully!) is torturous
Such a tragic one Nabanita. I have heard of people giving up and then attempting suicides and it scares me to imagine how weak and lonely they must have felt. I wish, they had loved ones who could notice the little signals and save them. The stats suggest that a lot needs to be done to help people. You have a food for thought for all of us here.
hugs!!
Suicide is such a senseless and hopeless thing. Its so heart wrenching 🙁
A friend of mine committed suicide because she didn't get the marks her mother wanted her to get in the 12th board exams.. 🙁
its so hard to make out if someone is depressed because clinical depression is a medical condition that's not like having a fever or something…
You raise a pertinent point…When someone is suffering from a disease which is not curable, I don't know what is the right course…Suicide? I don't know…no I think…But then I might not understand everything there is to it, right?
Thanks..
I hope they find the courage to ask for help and also that people around them are able to notice that something huge is bothering them
Thanks.
True Vinodini… I think we get so busy with life that we fail to notice those around us..And then when we ultimately do it's too late…
Thanks..
True Kathy..I wish they would get the help they need…I wish lives are not lost this way… <3
Just be there for your friends or anyone you know…If you see the signs, reach out and help..And spread awareness through your blog that depression is a disease not something to be shunned…
Thanks Vidya…I hope so I can help someone and make a difference..Though I would like it better if no one has to go through depression or hurt that leads them to that stage..
True Geets…Sometimes that part is the hardest I guess…and then of course the inhibitions of asking someone thanks to the society being so judgemental
True Richa….
The problem with our country atleast is that there is no proper set up to seek the help needed…The judgmental attitude of the society or the need of the family to keep things hidden doesn't help either…
I agree Parul… If only, we could be more sensitive to this issue..
It's truly sad…We feel so helpless na?
It's sad that a life has to be lost this way and it's not just one life but the lives of all those connected…
Ending life is not a solution. Life isn't easy in terms, there are times when we are in the fix. It's better to discuss with people in whom you confide.It will help to vent out the bottled up emotions and you will feel relaxed n it will save you from taking extreme step.
Ragging can be a trigger – it's usually linked to low self-esteem. It's hard to know whether your words would have made a difference, Nabanita, but I see how it would make you feel. I think what we learn is give smiles to people who don't seem to have any and reach out in simple ways.
I think too that incidents like this put in perspective our own times of pain and we realize that our experience of pain can be channelized to help another.
You would have spoken to your batch-mate if he had vocalized his agony–some people never disclose their emotions.
Talking of suicide,i have a helpline for this very purpose and i have also written many posts about this tragedy;but the truth is-very few come forward–stigma again.
True Ila ..But it's hard at times to open up, even to near and dear ones…
True Corinne…even the most insignificant of smiles could actually be of significance to someone…Who knows it might stop them from taking a drastic step or even reconsider…
Yes, Indu…This stigma is actually one of the reasons why so many lives are lost and families destroyed…
Been there, didn't do it. And the only thing that stopped me was the thought that it would make the "failure" (whatever it was) final.
People have become more insensitive nowadays. They are more wrapped-up within and about themselves. As communication becomes quicker, cheaper and easier, people are losing the will and skill to have proper communication with others. Everybody is more connected than they have ever been before. Yet, never before have people felt so lonely.
I can imagine how some perfectly normal people could entertain the thoughts of suicide. I think only a really supportive network of family and friends who acts in a timely manner can help when someone is in the doldrums. Good post, Naba.
To think that someone goes through that much pain to choose death over life and we couldn't do anything about it, is terrible. Honestly, we all go through such pains at somepoints in life. Sharing our troubles with others might have helped us in facing the trouble rather than choosing suicide. A kind word some times can give life to life.
Very well written Naba, on an important issue… Yes, sometimes we wish we had seen, would have known, would have…. But its hard sometimes, and like you say completely "not understandable" why some people think life is so hard, that they need to end it… Too sad
I am glad you have chosen this topic for your post, and I offer full support to spread awareness and sensitize those around us, as this is the most preventable form of death; and there plenty of signs given, if we can notice… I have also made a post on similar lines, and am willing to join you for this cause, thanks for sharing….
It is really heart rending to even think about it.How helpless a person could feel that he just gives up on life?Life is getting complex everyday but ending life is definitely not done.This problem calls for a massive awareness and empathy.
Like you said, its not easy to open up to near and dear ones (relatives)
I think at times like these, its friends who are in a better situation to help.
Very well composed and recollected dear.. Had a clear picture infront..
20160412 junda
rolex submariner
designer handbags
coach outlet online
valentino shoes
supra shoes
skechers shoes
bottega veneta outlet
running shoes
true religion outlet
fitflops
cheap ugg boots
reebok uk
longchamp
coach outlet store online
michael kors handbags
ray ban sunglass,ray ban sunglasses,ray ban outlet,cheap ray bans,cheap ray ban sunglasses,cheap ray bans,ray bans
rolex replica watches
toms outlet
true religion
michael kors watches
ray ban outlet
ghd hair straighteners
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors purses
canada goose outlet
fitflops
jimmy choo outlet
oakley sunglasses,oakley sunglass,cheap oakley sunglasses,oakley sunglasses cheap,oakley sunglasses outlet,oakley store,oakley outlet,oakley outlet store,oakley sunglasses sale,oakley sunglasses discount
louis vuitton pas cher
coach outlet
converse
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors outlet
coach purses
coach factory outlet