This post is written for the Indifiction Workshop. The plot on which the story is based is by Leo.
You can read the complete post here too.
Scene-I
Don’t we love the enchanting fairy tales of Rapunzel and Cinderella those we all have grown up listening to from our parents? It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that at times we have even fantasised being the Princess in distress; eventually saved by the handsome prince to live happily ever after. The prompt inferences by all from such stories often are of hope and romance. But we tend to forget the part where a girl confined in a tower faces the agony of isolation for years. If I were to turn back time five years, I would be transported into a cramped dungeon for the mentally insane; not so much of a fairy tale I know!
With dad passing away while I was still an infant; mother and I had seen some awfully difficult times. Money, they say, isn’t as important as love is. Well, I wouldn’t be too sure about that for mother and I had lots of love for each other. Why wouldn’t it be as it was just the two of us? But love was not enough, not in our case at least. Sickness and depression overshadowed the rapport. She fell ill; went from bad to worse and one fine day she died. The thread that bound me to this world was ruptured at that very moment. She was gone and I was all alone; it was a sickening feeling. Perhaps that was an escape for her but my existence was quashed beyond repair; at least that’s what it seemed like during those days. Depression, hallucinations and more followed as I went down the path which now I shiver to even think let alone speak about.
It was a harrowing time not only for me but my maternal uncle too who took upon his shoulders my responsibility. He strangely never gave up on me and after about a year in the asylum, I began responding to medicines and treatments. Finally, after two years in there, I recovered completely. But my uncle didn’t stop there; he just wouldn’t for his duties would be incomplete without me settling down with a nice guy. But who would marry a girl who had spent years in the mental hospital? Nevertheless, he went ahead and found a suitable groom for me. Of course, he kept this chapter of my life hidden in spite of my constant requests of full disclosure! But that apart I did cross the threshold of marriage; it seemed knotty then but not anymore. It is as believable as the sun or the stars in the sky! Today I am not only Sandhya but Sandhya Deepak Singh and my life has never been better!
It has been almost two years that Deepak and I have been married. As clichéd as it may sound but he is the best thing to have ever happened to me! He is the quintessential tall, dark and handsome man that girls fall head over heels in love with. But there is much more to Deepak than just his looks; his intelligence; his passion for work and the zeal to change things for the better. And when he smiles; with those dimples and honest eyes, the time just stops! In fact, if there is hope in this world; than Deepak sure is hope in flesh and blood. He believes in changing lives just as he changed mine!
They say life is not a bed of roses; agreed. But then if that is true so is the fact that after a road strewn with thorns comes the turn which is laden with dews of hope and fragrance of love.
Ok, so now I sound like a poet! Well! I guess that’s what love does to you! Way to go Sandhya!
But it’s indeed true; never would I have imagined my life changing so substantially. I was once like a wild stream destroying anything that came in my path while now I feel the peace and calm of a serene river. Sometimes I wonder if this is the reward for having has a roller coaster ride; a horrible one at that; up until I met Deepak.
I miss mother so much every day. How I wish she would have seen how happy I am today; how very happy her Sandhya is! But alas she passed away with concern and fear of my future. If only she had known that the impending future she was so anxious about would actually usher in the bliss that was missing from my life and her too! Yes, mother today I have the life that you passed away praying for every day.
“Memsahib, seems like Saheb would be late tonight. Should I serve dinner?”
“No Nitai, I shall eat once your Saheb is back. You don’t need to wait up”
Nitai is my Man-Friday around the house. He does all the chores while I have all the time in my life to do my hearts bidding. It wasn’t easy growing up when food, clothes or even medicines had to be measured however we had no choice. Uncle was always there but mother and I didn’t want to burden him with more responsibilities than he already had. Yes, it was a horrible chapter one that I would very much like to forget. I wish there was some magical potion that would totally wipe away those nightmarish recollections. They are still so vivid and terrifying that I still wake up gasping for breath at nights!
It’s already two at night. This campaigning has been keeping Deepak out for so long!
Everything in my life seems so peaceful now that I fear something terrible would follow suit soon. I have never been used to so much comfort and happiness. I love where I have come to today but I also know that I haven’t been completely honest with Deepak. The fear of rejection is too big but it is a mountain that I need to climb. I need to tell him everything that he as my husband ought to know. Every time I go up to him to speak about those dark two years of my life I feel tongue-tied by anxiety and apprehension. I know the more I delay the more difficult it would be but I have grown so accustomed to him and this life, that I don’t want anything to jeopardise it. Perhaps this anniversary would be the right time to come clean with him; I mean he wouldn’t get mad at me on such a special day; would he? At least, I hope not!
Scene-II
I have been on the road forever it seems. This impending election is taking a toll not only on my health but on my life too. Sometimes its days before I get to see Sandhya; I leave so early in the morning and by the time I am back I am too exhausted to even spend some quality time with her! But it is important I know. Not many get the chance to do something important for the society and only if I win this election I would get the means to actually do something worthwhile! And moreover I have an entire lifetime to spend with Sandhya, I am sure she would understand!
“Sir, our next stop is the Mental Asylum that you can see in the distant”
“Alright”
Well, let’s see how I can help these people. I have so many plans; let’s see how they pan out!
“Hello, Deepak. I am Dr Shetty, the Chief Medical Resident here. It’s nice to see a young man like you taking interest in the affairs of the country!”
“If we don’t then who will Sir”
“By the way how is Sandhya? She was my patient here. I am happy to know that she is doing well. When patients like her lead a normal life we feel that our job is really done!”
“Sandhya? Sir, I think you are mistaken my wife was never here.”
“Sandhya Deshmukh right? Yes, she was my patient.”
I don’t believe this! It’s not possible Sandhya never told me about this. It cannot be her. I am sure it was some other Sandhya!
“Dr Shetty I think you have mistaken me for someone else. Yes, my wife’s name is Sandhya but she wasn’t in an asylum”
“Umm No Mr Deepak I am sure it is her. I had even met her uncle after she was married to you. But she was here long time back and we are happy she is over that.”
“Hmmm… I should leave now. Do call me in case you need any help for this institution!”
Sandhya and I, ours was an arranged marriage but it wouldn’t be wrong to say that I had developed a soft corner for her from the very moment I had set eyes on her. There was a distinctive simplicity in her appearance. So unpretentious yet so much meaning in her eyes. I know she had a difficult childhood; it wasn’t stress-free for her perhaps that’s what reflected in her eyes too. With her long curly hair and petite figure, she oozed a childlike charm that I was attracted to.
When we met for the first time she never asked me about my past. It was a welcome change indeed, for girls I had met formerly were too involved in the past. I wanted a present with my life partner. Instead of regressing to what was history I wanted to commit my present to my better half. I saw that in Sandhya; she was what I had been looking for.
But why am I feeling so bad at not having known this part of Sandhya’s past?
I remember the time when I had fallen ill after campaigning in the slums. I was diagnosed with Malaria and admitted to the hospital. Sandhya stayed up each night and took care of me. She didn’t have to for the best doctors in town were on duty but she didn’t flinch even for a moment. How can I question such a woman!
Also, it’s not right as she never questioned me about what went on in my life before she stepped in so I shouldn’t judge her for not sharing some information with me. The rules don’t change just because she is a woman or she is a wife. No, I don’t care if she was in an asylum. All I know is I love her. I might not be that expressive but she is the most beautiful thing to have ever happened to me. She gave me the elixir of life; her unconditional love. I am sure she will tell me everything when she is ready. Till then all I need to know is that she is my Sandhya!
Scene-III
Well, tomorrow is the big day and I will surprise him with a small get together with all his friends from college. These days he is so busy that he hardly gets time to relax. I have seen him happy and jovial every time he is with his friends. So what better way to celebrate tomorrow than being in their company? Of course, after that, I also need to tell him about my past in the mental asylum. The secret is getting heavier by the minute!
“Nitai!!”
“Yes Memsahib”
“Here’s the grocery list. Get it and come back in time. Saheb will have dinner early tonight ok”
“Ok, Madam. Saheb wanted his old clothes to be packed separately. Shall I do that and then go?”
“No you go I will take care of that”
“Ok”
Well, let’s get started Sandhya!
I always wondered why he keeps his clothes in the guest room. Well, we don’t really have many visitors so I guess he decided to utilise the space and exclusively give me the cupboard in our bedroom! Now let’s see where his old clothes are! Well, my dearest politician sure has a lot of clothes for a man who hardly wears anything apart from kurta pyjama these days!
What’s that? Looks like an old envelope but what is inside it?
Photographs! Wow..Deepak was so thin during college and look at him now with a paunch and all!
Ohh these must be his friends!
Here’s a photograph of him dancing! I didn’t know he danced! Interesting!
I don’t have any photographs of my growing up years. If truth be told I am glad I don’t for there is no way I would want to remember that time. Except for mum, I really have nothing to show off for that period of my life and now that she is no more all I have is zilch.
Wait a minute! Who is she? Who is Deepak with in this photograph and in such a pose!
It’s going to be two years that we are together and Deepak has never for once held my hand in front of anyone. But here in this picture, he seems so happy with her. Wonder who she was? The way he is holding her, the way he is looking into her eyes I don’t think we ever had that. I know I never cared about his past because I wanted to forget mine and never have to discuss it but why do I feel betrayed?
Everyone has a past, I do too but of course, it’s an ugly past. He doesn’t have to tell me who she was, why should he anyways? But shouldn’t he? I feel so confused!
I need some water. I need some air! I can’t breathe!
I know for a fact that I am his present then why this discomfort? But then again why does he look happier with her more than he is with me? Why does my heart feel bitter at seeing this picture? We have had our moments, not similar, but equally beautiful then why does my heart feel this pain from within?
This is not good Sandhya, remember Deepak loves you! He really does!
Yes, I can’t let this get to me. I can’t slip back into the vicious cycle of depression all over again. I can’t be livid, I simply can’t!
Breathe Sandhya! Exhale, Inhale! Just Breathe Dam-it!
He has given me a steady life so far, a place to call my own. He has loved me in the best way anyone ever has. I can’t be mad at him, so what he loved or fancied someone in the past. The fact is that was the PAST! All that should matter to me now is that he is with me. We are together and we have a beautiful life going on. I can’t throw it all away for a picture from his past! No, I can’t be so naïve! And if I know Deepak right, which I am sure I do, he is not the man to dwell in the past. He is a man of today and a man of his words. His commitment towards everything has been real and genuine; no he is not a man who betrays others, he certainly is not! He believes in moving ahead and not looking back. Moreover, the point he is at today is with me and nobody else!
I am his present and he is mine!
Our love will mature to one day be as good as wine!
Scene IV
Deepak had come back early that night. He wanted to bring in the anniversary with Sandhya, in fact, for months he had made efforts to keep his calendar completely free. After several weeks they finally had dinner together that night; it was indeed pleasant for a change. It was great in fact. Sandhya had cooked his favourite biryani and they talked, laughed and dined together!
“Yummy! I had been longing for it for a while now” said Deepak as he kept eating the tasty Biryani!
“See how well I know you!” Sandhya grinned. She had let go of the inhibitions and questions that had come up in her mind earlier that night. Of course, the short period of anxiety and restlessness had left a slight headache and a numbing pain in her chest. But she ignored those for Deepak was with her after so many days of dining alone and no amount of ill-health could ruin this moment for her!
After dinner they lay on their bed, Deepak’s arms around Sandhya as the breeze stroked them tenderly. Sandhya was still not feeling very well with the chest pain but she figured it would be due to the heavy meal; heartburn perhaps.
Finally, it was midnight, yes it was their 2nd anniversary; two years of being wed. Deepak looked towards Sandhya and said Happy Anniversary honey while pressing her hands gently. Sandhya with her hair open appeared lovely and elegant as she looked towards Deepak. Her demure appearance made him feel a sudden gush of emotions for he slowly hugged and kissed her like never before. Sandhya felt warm within, she felt wanted and realised that she was right in not making an issue out of that picture she had found earlier that day.
“I love you Deepak” she whispered softly in his ears.
Deepak then took out a beautiful diamond ring, held Sandhya’s hand and glided it into her finger as if to say ‘With this ring, I thee wed again!’ It was beautiful, almost surreal. But it struck Sandhya then, she had to tell him about her past, she just had too! So she spoke and this time with teary eyes.
“I didn’t get you anything Deepak but I still have something to give you. I don’t want to keep this from you anymore. It’s a burden I need to get off my chest! I had…” and suddenly Deepak put his fingers on her lips.
“Sandhya, I don’t care what it is that had burdened you so much but I want you to know that nothing from your past could change the way I feel for you. If it is about the mental asylum then darling I really don’t care. I came to know of it some weeks back, yes to be honest for a moment I dwindled but then it was our love, our bond that brought me back. I don’t care, I simply don’t care. I love you and I am very happy with you, never been happier!” saying Deepak pulled her towards him.
Sandhya was sobbing by now. As she lay with her head on his chest, she felt safe. She couldn’t believe her ears. How could she be so lucky? Deepak was the best man in the whole wide world for her and she knew it today more than ever!
“Deepak, you know I wouldn’t say life was unfair to me. Yes, I was always depressed and there were only hardships in my life. When I lost my mother, I lost myself as well. That was it, I couldn’t take it anymore and life for me had ended then and there. But I was wrong, my life never started till I met you. I love you, I really, really do”
“Sandhya you don’t need to feel guilty my dear. I had a past too but I never discussed it with you for it was over. There was a girl in my life. I was young and naïve but that was years back and now you are my present. But I never feel guilty for not telling you this earlier and neither should you!”
“Oh Deepak, I know about her. I saw her picture but I also don’t care. For a moment I was jealous I must admit but that was it. I know what we share is the present and that is all that matters!”
“I love you Sandhya!”
“I do too Deepak. I do too”
They were happy. They felt closer to each other than they had ever before. Life is like that. You never know what or who would change it forever. There might be obstacles, complications and problems but there would always be this one person who would make everything worth it.
There are those that believe in love and those that don’t. Deepak and Sandhya believed in their love for each other. It’s pretty simple past is past and it more often than not complicates lives. The choice is always in your hands whether to cherry-pick peace or anxiety!
It was 10 in the morning by the time Deepak woke up from his slumber. It was a bright sunny day. He had made plans for lunch at Sandhya’s favourite restaurant and in the evening there was the party Sandhya had organised. He turned to the other side of the bed and to his surprise Sandhya was still asleep. It was strange as she was always up before him. He smiled and thought that perhaps she was tired after all the emotional talk they had the previous night.
Deepak moved closer to Sandhya and hugged her. He gently stroked her hair and whispered her name in her ears.
“Sandhya..Wake up Darling”
She was in too deep a sleep so he tried again and this time a little loudly.
“Sandhya.. Wake up! Rise and shine!”
Still, there was no response so he turned her towards him and suddenly as a bolt from the blue he realised that she wasn’t breathing!
“Sandhya” he screamed as he tried to catch a pulse or a heartbeat or a breath! But something was amiss, Sandhya was not breathing!
“Sandhya no no no. You can’t do this to me!”
He took some water from the jug and sprinkled on her but still there was no movement. He tried over and over again, nervous and sweating like in a furnace, but Sandhya didn’t move let alone breathe! This couldn’t be happening to him he thought! He recalled Sandhya mentioning some sort of chest pain at night due to indigestion but she was fine! She was fine for heaven’s sake!
He poured the entire water in the jug on her, all the time calling her name but she didn’t wake up! By now Nitai was in the room too due to all the noise and the commotion. The doctor was called but it was too late! Sandhya lay there lifeless, all wet but lifeless! She had a severe stroke in her sleep, it was all over!
Deepak sat in the corner staring at Sandhya’s comatose body. He just sat there as if he had shut out the whole outside world. He stopped talking; he just sat there like a stone! People tried to make him cry but it was in vain! Sandhya was gone, suddenly, abruptly! Was it the photograph that took her away? Should he have told her everything earlier so that it wouldn’t be a shock to her? But then she said she was fine with it, she knew he loved only her! Deepak drowned in a whirlpool of questions with Sandhya gone. He was not himself anymore; he was gone with her too. What was left was a hollow man, searching for answers that were unlikely to come!
“Deepak…. Here take your medicines” called out Dr Shetty of the Mental Asylum.
“Sandhya. Where is Sandhya” said a man with an awry smile while gasping for breath with each of his words. It was Deepak. He looked frail, sick and completely unaware of what was known as life!
Such was the cruel blow of fate that Deepak ended up in the asylum from where Sandhya had once stepped into a happy life after recovery. But at that time destiny had Deepak waiting for her at a turn in the journey of life. But with her gone; would Deepak ever be able to find a similar bend in his life?
Life is like a game of cards you never know when you are dealt a losing hand! Deepak and Sandhya had wetted clay to build a life of their dreams but before they could put up the bricks a storm set them apart.
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Good read… Thanks 🙂
Hi Nabanita, I read the Scene I, its very nice, narrative is slightly poetic making the narrative more stronger.
Best wishes…
Thanks Engram 🙂
🙁 I guess I overdid the sad ending this time Farida ji !
Thanks Vijay 🙂
Thanks Bikash 🙂
I think I explained to you before why I usually don't indulge myself in love stories. But well written there.
After yesterday's pessimistic outburst, I have decided to dial it down. I am going to live my life and see what happens. Either I will find love or it won't happen. If love doesn't happen for me and I remain alone forever, too bad for me.
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