People are often quick to judge mothers, working or stay-at-home, it doesn’t really matter. As hard as it is to admit, I have done it too in the past albeit unknowingly. Maybe it’s a reflex action kind of a thing in our species. We are quick to evaluate the other, often subconsciously but evaluate we must.
Anyways, gradually with years, I have seen, realised actually, how hard it is to be a woman let alone a mother. So, I try not to anymore. And now that I’m a mother, the unbelievable levels of difficulty that this role entails is something that I learn every single day. And I’m just in the eighth month of this journey.
We are quick to evaluate the other, often subconsciously but evaluate we must.
Taking care of a sick child is a full-time job and it becomes even harder when the child in question is an infant. These past few days reminded me that it is going to be hard balancing a career and my role as a mother. Yes, despite the support system. It isn’t going to be easy. And it scares me. What if I have to give something up?
Taking care of a sick child is a full-time job and it becomes even harder when the child in question is an infant.
Ever since M started going to the crèche, she has been a little clingy. She just doesn’t want to go to anyone else once she sees me. As for me, after keeping her in the crèche for 8 to 9 hours, I too want to be with her as much as possible. It goes without saying thus that when she was down with fever, I just wanted to focus on her because I knew how much more she needed me.
Motherhood is hard. It isn’t easy with or without support.
But I had work to do as well which I didn’t want to neglect either. I don’t want to be that team member who doesn’t work. I never asked for special treatment while I was pregnant and I don’t want to now. I want to do my work and do it well.
Truth is, I don’t want to lack in either of my roles. But it was tough. Even though I had my mom at home last week, in spite of all the support, I must admit I found it really, really tough to balance both.
Motherhood is hard. It isn’t easy with or without support. And the bulk of the load falls on the mom because a child needs her more especially on sick days.
Honestly, after my experience last week, I have a new found respect for mothers who work from home. I don’t know how they balance everything. It has been a tough couple of days for me. Taking a call when suddenly M was crying. Or, trying to feed M before a meeting but she refusing to eat. It wasn’t a cake walk.
Truth is, it’s not easy to juggle so many things but juggle I must.
All this just reminds me that this journey of being a parent, a mother is going to be demanding too. At least, if I want to balance everything I do along with it. But I shouldn’t give in to the stress. I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let motherhood alter my life such that I stop recognising the reflection in the mirror. If anything motherhood should add to my life and not take away. So, in the midst of all the packed days, tireless nights and emotional hugs, I need to fulfil that promise to myself, for me and for everyone I hold dear.
Are you a parent who works from home? How do you do it? Any tips?
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| Linking to #MondayMusings by Everyday Gyaan |
Ah well! Like you mentioned it is demanding and really difficult. I tried when S was very young. Gave up after a really strenuous few months as I wanted to be around him when he was little. Then I picked up the pieces again when he was older. Like you mention, despite dads offering and doing more, the bulk of the work in parenting falls on the mother. I remember how my 1 year old son would keep staying up crying till I got home from work at around 10 – 11 at night while G helplessly tried to put him to bed. It broke my heart every single time. I guess it gets easier as they are a little older but one really needs to be around in the evenings. They need us. And that is the only reason why I find working from home so fulfilling. I can just switch off wifi and be around when they come home. It gets tough on the days when they are sick. It always is even when it is a teen who is sick at home. Just work out what works best for you. And sometimes if need be seek help. You can do both a full-time job and raise a child but yes it is going to be quite a roller coaster journey. Don't give up!
Motherhood is a full time job – and much more daunting, exhausting and tough job than the regular corporate jobs, believe me. Yes people will judge you no matter what. I decided to take a break to be with my little one and I am being sympathized with, let alone being judged. I hope she's better now. Just know one thing – all of it shall pass, keep patience. Happy eight months!
Tina
I felt impossible to work from home with infant at home with/ without support. I tried working in the nights when my husband took care of kid or in the afternoons when kid slept. With toddler, it becomes somewhat better as they can understand instructions and be quiet while playing or eating.
I applaud you for being so strong … to keep the promises that you have made to yourself, and I sincerely hope that in future too you will be just as strong. I pray M gets well soon and is her cheery best again. Take care Naba.
I so admire young working mothers like you, Naba. I've told you that before. The support system of old is not really there and the demands of work are so much more. I think at the end of the day, like with everything else, we have to close ourselves to the judgement and do the best we can.
Yes – the bulk of the load falls on the mom. Its not an easy task but the fact is that we (as parents) sail through it with all its ups and downs.
both roles are equally exhausting and challenging! I have been a full time career woman with child in the creche during my first child, and I have also been a full time mom working from home during the second one….neither is a piece of cake! Dono taraf se pitna hi hai!!
Shubhangi @ The Little Princess
My mentor used to work from home and manage us after her second born. As long as the work is being done, it is what matters. It's never easy to juggle a child along with work. I think it's very tiring. I am no parent but work from home for the time being and I am loving it.
Cheerz
I took some days as work from home till he was 1. It wasn't much difficult with someone else at home but after that when he started expressing himself and showing tantrums, it got difficult. Now I prefer taking day off rather than work from home. I don't want myself trying to juggle both of them and end up doing nothing perfectly.
When D was 8 months I did not have the option of work from home. So when he used to fall sick, either I took leave to stay at home or left him with MIL or my mother. Both the cases were not easy. In the first, the work suffered and in the second I suffered for leaving an ailing baby. The guilt and the judgements play more havoc. My advice is these days will pass. When you see yourself failing, remind yourself of your promises.
It will be tough now that she is so young. Pls do not hesitate to take any support. You will need them all now. You can always return the help in future years. This way the child will also bond with the extended family. Good that you had your mother with you. My children were much older when I started working from home and they got used to it. But, I know a colleague who is managing with 2 toddlers. She got a blue tooth headset so she could roam around the house.
It is one of the toughest jobs in the world.. Salute
It is a difficult situation to work from home and manage a kid.Very difficult to concentrate when you have a baby crying for attention.But as you mentioned,juggle we must.No other go.
Every story I hear makes me wonder if I too will have to give up my full time job. Let's see how it goes. Will try not to give up. Maybe with time, I'll manage better.
I know what you mean, Tina. I guess we are in for being judged no matter what you do. Wish you happy one year 🙂
Maybe with time things will be better managed. Thanks for visiting, Mahathi 🙂
Thanks so much , Rajlakshmi. 🙂
Thanks, Corinne. I guess only in time will I know if I'm able to handle everything well, or if I need to take a call for the sake of myself and my child.
I guess I just need a little getting used to eh?
So true , Shubhangi. We are in for it either way! sigh!
Ahh..enjoy Vishal.
These days I enjoy working from office more 🙂
I guess I need to do that too. I can't work from home when she needs me constantly and without any support.
Thanks , Anamika. I need to do that. And also remember that at the end of the day, I need to be happy and my baby too needs to be happy
I guess it gets easier with time? Maybe now there is so much dependency that's why it's like this.
It indeed is. Salute to all mothers and fathers too 🙂
True, Subha. No other option!