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The other day as I got into the office bus, the woman sitting next to me smiled at M and we got talking. It is very unlike me to engage in a conversation with a stranger but after M it has become something I just cannot avoid. The introvert in me doesn’t find much to talk about but this time it wasn’t so.
When we got talking we found out how similar several aspects of our lives were. Like M, her daughter is also a year and a half old. Like me, she too is a working mother. Our struggles, hence, are the same. So you can very well imagine how we go on like a house on fire. Yes, even the introvert in me stepped out.
We talked about our daughters who coincidentally were born just a day apart. We talked about how difficult it is to accommodate everything on a tight schedule from household chores to office work. She told me how happy her daughter is to see her when she reaches home at the end of the day. I told her how the best feeling in the world for me is when M runs to hug me when I go to pick her up. She told me how she had to steel herself to leave her daughter with a caretaker at home. I shared that even after almost a year, it’s heartbreaking to leave M at the daycare every single time. It was as if our lives as mothers and working women were mirroring each other and we couldn’t help but share.
There was something about the conversation we had. We could understand each other in a way someone else probably couldn’t and wouldn’t. The fact that we were both working mums helped a lot for we were walking the same path. Not once did I worry that she’d think I’m overreacting or exaggerating.
When I told her that I got the time to visit a parlour after a gap of six months, she couldn’t help but agree. She told me how everything related to her had to take a back seat or be done amidst other chores. I can’t tell you how relaxing those 15 minutes of conversation with her were for me and I’m sure for her too. It was like a breath of fresh air after a long hard day.
Often when I say that I’m pressed for time or that I feel suffocated and burned out, I feel the person in front of me struggles to understand me. Many times the suggestions are to ask for help or make time. But the thing is there is no time. We have too many things on our plates, often only the necessary things, and still we are stretched beyond our capacities. So, when I shared it with her, a fellow working mum, and realised she felt the same way, I felt validated, vindicated.
It’s strange how we had the most wonderful of conversations without asking each other’s names. But I guess we recognised each other at a different level. This is what happens when two mothers talk!
Have you had a similar experience? It doesn’t have to only be about mothers, you know.
I know what you mean. Sometimes one can connect with a complete stranger way better than people we know perhaps because there’s no baggage, they don’t try to offer solutions and maybe because we are in similar situation. Sometimes it’s just nice when someone only listens without attempting anything else. And Naba, give it another year, you’ll find life improving dramatically.
Obsessivemom recently posted…Life is a box of ‘Every Flavour Beans’
I totally get you when you say that sometimes a conversation with a stranger in a similar situation is so uplifting. I remember I had met a mom of 2 sons while grocery shopping in a mall and the conversation was so enjoyable. It’s like there are certain things only a mother in a similar situation would understand. I hope you find more such occasions to connect with likeminded people. Otherwise, I am always there. 🙂
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Loved reading the conversation 😀
I can totally relate to this. Sometimes, I just feel the need to strike a conversation with a stranger mom..probably because we connect at a very common level.
I can totally relate to this. Sometimes, I just feel the need to strike a conversation with a stranger mom..probably because we connect at a very common level.
It is always better to talk to someone sailing in the same boat. I can understand how you would have felt. Sometime ago, I had read somewhere how we all need sisters. And those sisters can be anyone from a friend, a teacher, a colleague, a neighbour. But to understand the real problems of a women, you need another women who is or has been through similar situations. And now that my girls have grown up, I can still tell you that it is really difficult to leave them behind. The protective and caring mother in us will always make it that way. Lots of love to M and you. <3
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Aaaw this is lovely. It’s so nice when you just click with someone (and I know how rare that is, as a fellow introvert!) #mg
Lucy At Home recently posted…Blogcrush Week 31 – 15th September 2017
It’s strange how sometimes the most meaningful conversations we can have are with strangers. I guess there are not too many preconceived notions and when there’s a common subject, we let our guard down. Glad you enjoyed this connection.
When we share our thoughts with a complete stranger, sometimes that person can relate to us more than our friends or family ever could be! Isn’t it?
While I have never had this experience, I do know what it’s like to converse with someone who “gets you”. Working moms are a breed all their own – I’ve been doing it for 8 years now (my eldest just turned 9!) I hope you keep making those connections with people who keep you feeling validated and vindicated! 🙂
~Jess
#mg
Jessica – A Modern Mom’s Life recently posted…5 Tips For Packing Lunches for Picky Eaters
I have never had this experience with a stranger but I do discuss this with my friends. I guess every mom goes through this tussle but it is also very important to take out time for ourselves once in a while. I just recently wrote a post on 20 healthy mom habits which I started practising few months back and which has really helped me be a happy person. Do check, it might help as sometimes we know everything and what is bnest fpr us but need a reminder.
Mothers need to support each other and not try to bring them down. I’m sure the conversation was refreshing for you, Naba. Mothers should take some time out and talk about such things with other mothers. When they talk about such things to non-mothers, that’s when my problem starts 🙂
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When my second child started school she was so painfully introverted and didn’t want to talk to anyone! So I realised I had to lead by example and make my introverted self talk to other school mums, surprisingly not only she made amazing friendships but so did I. Having like minded friends as mums is such a blessing, I have my friends still from when I was at school but it is so lovely to now have mummy friends too. I love this post! Thank you so much for linking up with me at #mg
This is such a heart warming post, Naba. I could understand your heart better as I had also felt the same many a times. Happy that you felt relax after that 15 minutes of chit chat. Hope you could become more closer to her for your good. Happy to connect with for #MommyTalks …. https://mysweetnothings.in/thz-moms-life-ruchie-verma/
Vasantha Vivek recently posted…This MOM’s Life
so true, put two moms in a room together, and its so comforting to discuss parenting woes… As long as it is comforting and you did relax, it is great isnt it?
Ramya Abhinand recently posted…Radio, I Still Love You!
yes had some similar talks in the park and doctor’s clinic. we meet, we talk, and we forget 😉 (them not the talks!!!!)
I get what you mean. Every afternoon for 5 mins while we wait for our kids’ bus to come, I talk with a couple of moms who have kids of the same age and are in a similar life situation. It’s like my daily boost of energy
Namratha recently posted…What no one told me about becoming a mother for the second time
I know what you mean. It’s so easy to make eye contact and start a conversation with other mums and there’s always so much to talk about and relate to each other with. #mg
Dropping here from Sanch’s blog.
I am glad you could relate someone so much, that too in a office bus.
For me , I am not a mother. But I have a demanding job and am pressed seriously for time, I feel burned out, time pressed every single time. I booked the home salon service after four months this Sunday, after having planned my breakfast and lunch two days in advance.