Pros and cons of an arranged marriage

Sep 7
NabanitaDhar
My post in http://heandshe.in

She sat there with eyes towards the floor. Infact she couldn’t look up, even if she wanted to as she had to be the ‘shy and demure’ girl on display to be chosen by her prospective in-laws. Surrounded by family she felt like some sort of an animal in a zoo or an art put on view. She was not only uncomfortable in the saree and her neck ached but she could only gaze at the shoes of her probable husband. While she sat there like a show piece; her potential groom sat there trying to fathom what she might have thought of him or what she was like. All he could see was a girl draped in a heavy saree and some sparkling jewellery; her voice only audible while answering his family’s questions which he had no intention of asking in the first place. He didn’t care if she was a good cook or could sing. Those weren’t his criterion of selecting a mate but then that’s how most arranged marriages begin don’t they?

A good number of marriages in India pass through these stages before being solemnized. Marriages are made in heaven, they say, but it is right here on earth that they are formalized. But before that step you need to find a mate. Either you find your ideal partner yourself or your family finds that special one for you. The former hailed as ‘Love Marriage’ while the latter ordained as ‘Arranged Marriage’.

Arranged marriages have been a tradition in India for centuries now. It is where families get together and find a suitable match, as per them, for their progeny. It is often seen that compromise and sacrifice are the building blocks of such marriages. One has to reconcile the idea of ‘one’s perfect partner’ with that of one’s parents’. Nevertheless it is touted to be far more successful than love marriages and have stood the test of changes through eras. So are arranged marriages good or are they bad? Are they suitable for the times we live in today?  What are the pros and cons of an arranged marriage?

Read the complete post here: Pros and cons of an arranged marriage

24 thoughts on “Pros and cons of an arranged marriage”

  1. In Indian context its definitely two sides of a coin. However, I believe that Understanding is what matters between couples.Nothing more nothing less. One can sail through then.

  3. I like the new background and the layout, I think this is the first time am here after the change! Now on to reading the post 🙂

  5. I dont see much difference in love or arranged marriage, because it depends on only the partner that we chose. In arranged marriage you are not sure if you are compatible with your future husband, in love marriage you might be sure to some extent. Still, if the partner that we chose is not ready to adjust on anything and if there is no understanding or trust, marriage will fail. This case can happen in both the cases(arranged or love).

  6. I feel an arranged marriage is risky more so these days..but again it depends..ofcourse adjustment is also a big part of a relationship..

    Thanks 🙂

  8. very good post. Arranged marriages are something that has been privelant in India for a long time, ofcourse its good in some ways but with the growing modernity people need to modernize their thoughts as well.

  9. well written naba…. I dont subscribe to the concept of traditional arranged marriages… they go against the concept of marriage itself, which should take place only if there's love involved… anything else is a transaction.

  16. arranged or love, the marriage is always a success when there understanding. and transparency harbors understanding. so what i want to say is that the possibility of understanding is more in love marriages. and d same factor also becomes a problem as many love marriages end up in divorce.
    but what is life if there is no transparency in everything? thus i wud prefer even failing after luv marriage rather than arranged marriage..

  21. loved the way you've captured the emotions in the introductory para! as long as there is love in the marriage and marriage because of love…either way you married would work great!!

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