Sex Talk..

Dec 10
NabanitaDhar

What’s your salary?
Why do you eat non-vegetarian food?
Why do you wear jeans?
What, yours was a love marriage?
What are you educating your daughter for?
Why are you still taking care of your parents after marriage?
Why you are not married yet?
Why don’t you have any children yet?
Are you a virgin?

Questions, questions and so many more. Don’t you sometimes wonder about the kind of questions you are asked by this society of ours? Frankly, I do and often too. But then I more or less always decide to not bother. Easier said than done, I know, but I still make the effort and I’m sure you do too.
Privacy is a term that we chose not to appreciate in this great country of ours. Barring a few, we as a nation generally believe in the ‘your business is my business as long as I don’t need to pay’ philosophy. Boundaries do not matter when we poke our big, fat and ugly noses into someone else’s business. But, wait for it, we make use of the very same boundary to rack unsuspecting soles.

Among millions of other subjects, sex is explicitly a topic that is considered a big taboo in our society. We ‘do’ it, of course, but talk of it we don’t! Hell, we even have women being raped right, left and center given any window of opportunity but talk of sex we do not! At all times we play the culture card while some men who just can’t keep it in their pants drive around cities and towns associating sex with dreadful rapes for all. Just the mere pronunciation of the word is considered a disgrace while it’s ordinary (pun intended) for a woman to be sexually assaulted in her own backyard. And then obviously with this stigma comes the natural progression to terming pre-marital sex as profane. Yes, that’s the kind of spirals and tangents our thought processes take.

So just so we are all on the same page let me recap.
·         We don’t talk about sex for that’s sleazy according to some dead beat ancestor who is now long gone.

·         We chastise people supporting pre-marital sex.
·         We do nothing to stop those committing rape.
·         We fight against consensual sex but do nothing substantial about a man who forces himself on a woman.
·         We shame and blame all those who even dare to speak candidly on sex, even those who endorse sexual freedom.


In my view, sex, pre-marital or not, should be an individual’s prerogative. I’m not averse to the idea at all. And why should I or even you be?
  • Nothing wrong in consensual sex, pre-marital too.
  • Why the categorization even?
  • It’s the decision of an individual.
  • No one has the right to pass judgments on someone else’s sex life.
Source: http://pixabay.com/en/right-direction-next-road-sign-238369/
Credit: http://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/

I think like any other choice in life whether to have sex before or after marriage, or perhaps to not have it at all, is up to an individual. I don’t see anything wrong in any of the scenarios. But this censoring of anything related to sex or targeting an individual based on his or her preference of pre-marital sex is ridiculous.

I think it’s high time you and I stop being so naïve. It’s high time you and I stop hiding behind false moralities. Look at what happens all around India inspite of being so uptight in our beliefs about sex. Unsuspecting women are raped. So it’s not pre-marital sex you and I should oppose. If there is anything you and I need to stand up to, it’s the vile crime of rape.

Before I wrap up, tell me what do you feel? Don’t you, like me, believe that there’s nothing wrong in pre-marital sex too? Don’t you agree that it’s absurd to make it an issue? Don’t you agree that enough is enough, sex is sex and not the Ebola virus to be quarantined for? Don’t you agree that it’s not those who support pre-marital sex who ‘supposedly’ ruin our culture? Don’t you agree it’s as normal, as natural, as anything else that you do? Don’t you agree it’s a needless furor?
***
This post is written for Indiblogger’s Yes Or No to Pre-Marital Sex?
Source: Indiblogger
Click to grab a copy of Poonaam Uppal’s True Love – A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.

12 thoughts on “Sex Talk..”

  1. nice post. we are the most hypocrite people on the face of earth and I do not understand why most people are always bugging others (singles) with their never ending and non nonsensical 'why'

  2. Amen on all counts! Sex is part of life…it is important to be aware and in the know. Nothing wrong with being open about it…and rape?? What a better world we would live in if that awful reality didn't exist at all for anyone.

  4. I think it should not be anybody else's concern but the two individuals. But sadly, it becomes everybody's business to pass judgments and issue moral certificates. And sadly, the character assassination is done only for the girl while the guy is an equal party to the pre-marital sex.

  5. I think we should start fining people for passing judgements. They do it as if it's their birthright. Sometimes I givr back some really weird answers just to shock the culture out of them 😉 thankfully the youth now has more sense.

  6. It is absurd that this is such an issue. But considering our culture, the conservatism of society, the difference in our thoughts, I can see why so many are bothered.

  7. I can say only one thing , If sex is talked as much as other educative topics are , many things are going to get improved.
    So Thats what I feel.

  10. A thought provoking post. While sex is the concern of two individuals,these individuals revolt when it happens to some other member of their family. I know a person who is in relationship with a girl( I mean a woman, at least 12 years older than him). When his own younger brother brought his girl friend at home all hell was let loose. Such double standards,need to be condemned.

  12. The most hyped talk in our country when it comes to the consideration. I don't understand if people ask questions why they feel so uncomfortable asking ad make others uncomfortable as well! Very well written Nabanita. All the best 🙂

Comments are closed.