While you contemplate on this, why don’t I tell you what comes to mine?
Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time. ~ Maya Angelou
The glue that holds all relationships together, including the relationship between the leader and the led, is trust, and trust is based on integrity. ~ Brian Tracy
Trust like a mirror, if broken, can’t be mended.
Trust, if lost once, is gone forever. Think of it as those lasting ugly holes made by nails which linger even if you remove, well, the nails.
Trust is like blood pressure. It’s silent, vital to good health, and if abused it can be deadly. ~ Frank Sonnenberg
If you read carefully, you’ll perhaps notice the common undertone in everything I have jotted down above. Yes, and that is, trust once gone is lost forever. Or, you could also say
There was a time when trust was something I placed on people, even strangers, quite easily. You could say I was naive and I agree, I was. As years passed, I came in contact with more and more people to realize trust is one thing that needs to be guarded fiercely. I learnt somewhere in the course of life’s mundane activities that trust is just too precious to be entrusted without thorough reflection.
Experience, of any kind, always teaches you something worthwhile. The bad memories and the bitter aftertaste some acquaintances left, helped me understand the fundamentals of trust. It’s just too valuable to be given to everyone, or anyone.
Only a handful of people in life are worthy of protecting something as rare as trust; your immediate family, your partner and maybe if you are lucky enough, a few friends too. I’d say if you wish to protect your fragile heart from being stomped on repeatedly, you need to gauge, analyse and decide who is worthy of your faith.
You could say it is good to have difficulty in trusting people rather than suffering the aftermath of your carefully placed trust being shredded to millions of pieces. Don’t you think?
Now, enough about what I think, why don’t you go ahead and share your views on trust?
The prompts were:
What sounds do you work to?
If you could have any two famous people as parents who would you choose and why?
Write about a very special birthday of yours.
Write a story or a piece of non-fiction inspired by this quote:
“Trust, like the soul, never returns once it is gone.” ~ Publilius Syrus – I picked this!
You could join too, just write your post/s based on the prompt/s, and link here.
I can identify with you, Naba. I used to be very naive and trusting too giving of my time and resources freely. After several bad experiences, I tend to hold back these days. I'm not sure that's the best way to be, but it's how I am at present and I know it will take some time for me to start trusting again.
I'll admit I've gone back and forth in life. I think I do pull back from people as a defense mechanism but at the same time, I'm open to trusting those I am meeting for the first time. Weird, but true. 😛
Yeesh.. I could tell you stories. I was the typical puppy dog when it came to trust.. would believe blindly in people and even if I did not, would not make an issue out of the lie. That came back to nearly tear my life apart in the end… It has taken a long time to get past some of the trust issues but in the end, I am "Maya Angelou"ing my way back (refering to the first quote you mentioned)
It is not easy once you've had your trust broken… no matter what, a part of the pain and fear remains…
I was 'naive', am 'naive' and prefer to remain 'naive'. The only change is now I don't feel bad bacause it talks more about the other person and not about me. I trust people easily. Not that I throw caution to the winds and plunge into serious business. Of course, in matters grave, I do exercise caution as in I take multiple advices. But on a day-to-day basis I let go myself and be ME. After a point, as you all hint, I write them off.
Having said that Im also a firm believer of one attracting one's beliefs. My experience also testifies so. So no complaints!
Great post Naba. Could relate every word with my life. Khub sundor hoyeche 🙂
I could go on for days about trust. How I have trusted many and been let down every single time. Then I just didn't trust at all. Eventually over time you learn to strike a balance and be more judicious of whom you trust and believe.
Trust. As you said, not easy to trust every body we meet. And most of us learn the hard way. Rather – I would say, that's the way to learn about trust. With experience and meeting many – I do not trust easily and that helps me know people more before I do.
I am yet to learn on this. Yes, incidents have happened in life that made me careful for things around, but being too much suspicious or not trusting anybody at all.. I am still on the way and will surely reach the goal.. But I do observe them a lot and find something uncanny in their moves..
The quotations that you have used are incredible Naba.. and it was an intriguing post..
Cheers
True Corinne..I feel it's safer to hold back than give ourselves into a relationship that will hurt us..Ofcourse, I still end up being disappointed at times but now the hurt isn't as muh because of the wall around me..Again, as you said not sure if that is the right thing to do but it saves a lot of heartache
Oh I'm very apprehensive about trusting people I meet for the first time..I don't think I can easily go back to being trusting without weighing or getting to know someone.. 🙂
True Roshan…Once trust is broken it is not easy to bring it back..I don't know if I can Maya Angelou my way to easily trust unknow people again..Too risky !
Good that works for you Nisha…I'm scared of being hurt, never again do I want to be left heart broken or betrayed..It's scary!
Thanks so much 🙂
True Jabila..Eventually we learn somehow..We learn how to balance..But I'm scared to the extent of seeing the worst in people first instead of trusting them at one go 🙂
I guess you are right Parul.. We can only learn after a bitter experience ..Everything happens for a reason, a good one at that
I think the tendency for everyone who feels betrayed is to hold back and not allow others into their lives. Personally I used to be that way too until I realized something. The good news was that I never got hurt anymore but the bad news was that no one would help me either.
I learnt over time that I used to miss out on great relationships too because I took too much time to trust them.
Trusting people means allowing them to fail and I have stuck with that since the past couple of years.
Me too. I have also started holding back a bit. It is better to be safe than be hurt and used over and over again.
I also tend to trust too easily and have had some rather dubious experiences because of this. I think that when this is your nature, it is hard to change it. I generally think the best of people…but I am trying to work on trusting my instincts more and not allowing people to take advantage of me.
I still trust easily. A bit naive and stupid if you ask me, but I have trouble holding back. Guess, I'll learn at some point
Good on you Danny…For me friends and acquaintances are only for emotional support, I rarely expect them to help..Hence, when they still break my trust I just build up a wall and no I can't allow even one strike because trust for me is very fragile
Me too Rachna….
You know I have changed now to first expect the worst from people..Only then I find it easier and welcoming when they don't turn out so bad…
I hope you never have to Sid..It's not really a good feeling
Tell me about it 🙂 But, for me, when we start grudging trust, we also find people grudging it to us. Upfront yes, I start with trust in the other person and upfront you know it never starts with sharing the vulnerabilities of your heart or with a power of attorney on all your assets 🙂 If once they fail me though, in the smallest thing, that mirror shatters into so many pieces that you cannot even recognise that it started out as a mirror 🙂
Great Post.. Thanks for Sharing !
Floral Pants
True Suresh, ofcourse, we don't start sharing the vulnerabilities o f our heart..I guess what I do is start with thinking the worse of anyone new and somehow telling myself that he or she will eventually turn out to hurt me or betray me in one way or the other…That way I end up saving myself heartaches when they turn out even minutely decent
Thanks Ananya..
Nabanita, one of the hardest lessons I learnt in life is that just because someone trusts you, it doesn't mean you can trust them. You can add that to your list….TRUST IS RARELY RECIPROCAL
Well, we directly or indirectly need to trust people in our daily life. I sometimes trust that people will do their work well. But when it comes to trusting someone with something that would impact me, I would think 1000 times and never trust easily.
I wish and i pray and I beg god each day PLEASE give me the strength to NOT trust people easily .. dont know how do i make myself do that.. How can i stop my heart overpowering my mind always at every little sob story ..
maybe one day ..
trust needs to be earned i feel .. but then who am i to say that i break the rule all the time 🙁
Bikram's
I need to learn to balance as well. I don't trust easily and I have been known to take back the trust I had earlier given – I blame it on the bad experiences I have had – but that's not an excuse to hurt friends…
Beautiful post – I could resonate with what you have written
I'm still at the age where I don't feel the need to be guarded and all.. I'm quite open and friendly when I'm with my buddies, and my chats with my best friend get extremely personal.. But yes, i have been betrayed by my so called besties many times in life. My own naivete is to be blamed. Those days when my trust is broken or when I feel like someone cheated me, I really get angry and promise to myself that I won't trust anyone again.. But then, I tell myself, that there are 7 billion people on this planet earth.. Maybe by this cycle of trusting and breaking trust, I might find the perfect person?
And that's why I still trust people (obviously not the same people) even after going through that trauma!
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