A small town girl just trying to be a big city woman. Yes, that’s me. It’s been 11 years now that I have been living in one of the most amazing cities in India, the world actually. Bangalore. In many ways, Bangalore is just the city for me, unpretentious, simple yet sophisticated. Honestly, I cannot imagine living in any other city. But sometimes this small town girl wishes to go back but knows she can’t.
One of the many things I keep thinking about now is about living in a small town. It is one of those things which I realise has been on my mind for some time now. My parents live in Guwahati which is not nearly as big as Bangalore but there is just something wonderfully cosy about life there. A small town charm that I was quite familiar with until life took me elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I love Bangalore as it has given me so much and is now home yet somehow I can’t help wonder how life in a small town would be like now that I’m a working mother. Perhaps, a tad easier?
I don’t know, I guess it’s a question of grass being greener on the other side. However, it makes me nostalgic. Having grown up in Shillong which is a small hill station town, I know how close-knit and warm life can be there. But it’s not that easy, is it? The lack of opportunities and neglect in the North-east and many other parts of India, leave very little options if one wants to have a career.
Maybe it’s longing but I miss so many things about living in small towns. The fact that everything is close by, often at a walking distance. The fact that you can even afford to have a home with a garden instead of having to settle for an apartment because everything is just so expensive in the cities. Then the camaraderie between neighbours that I know still exists in the small towns around India. I remember how close I was to my neighbours growing up. They were practically family. We are still in touch and the bond still as strong. When I go back to my parents’ now, I see the same. But life in a city is always busy. We are always on the run and hardly at home if working. That leaves so little time and energy to socialise. I hardly get to speak to my neighbours. I hardly know my neighbours and though initially, I thought it was just me it’s the same for many working couples out here. There’s no connection anymore.
Then there is the traffic and the usual pushing of all chores to the weekend. That’s life in big cities for you. I can’t imagine planning dinners or get-togethers on working days because the travel time is huge. But there is so much that can be done on a working day in small towns. It’s just that life passes in a blur in cities and maybe I just want the pace to slow down a bit.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I lived and worked in a small town. I probably didn’t have to rush from the moment I woke up. And not rush my daughter too. But that’s just wishful thinking, isn’t it? Where are the jobs in small towns? Hardly any and so there has to be an exodus to the bigger cities. And so this is where my life is for the foreseeable future. But somewhere in this race to handle a home, a job and a kid, I feel life is passing me by all too soon. I’m always rushing and there is no time for anything here. I don’t know if the opportunity cost of moving out of small towns is ever worth it all things considered. I guess it’s not possible to have it all, is it?
The other day S and I were talking and thought that maybe someday in the future we could settle in a small town. When that’ll happen depends on a lot, financials being the biggest factor of that all. My only fear is, what if that future never materialises. This small town girl misses her small town life but one of the things about growing up is to do the sensible thing and so, for now, I’ll make the most of being a city girl.
Tell me, are you a small town or a big city person? Which do you yearn for more?
I’ve lived in a small town while in high school and everything seemed so slow. Now I’m living in the city and I love how it’s always on the move and there are so many opportunities to explore.
I am definitely a small town girl, in fact I live in a village now and I much prefer it to the city we live in before, I love the piece and quiet and being closer to nature.
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I grew up in the suburbs – kind of in between the countryside and the city. I always wished to live in a small town and sort of did briefly. I think it depends on the town, but I love that many of them are just so much calmer and the people are more friendly in small towns – they take the time to stop and say hello whereas in big cities that has not been my experience. Then again, most of my experience is confined to Canada so maybe it’s just a country thing.
I’ve never lived in a small town so maybe I can not fully understand your thoughts, but I must say that there is a certain melancholy that envies those who live in small cities …
I’m was born and bred in a small town and now live in one of the busiest city. I definitely miss my small town days where i had the time for everything and used to never end up finishing things in a rush. Thanks for sharing this article!!
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even though i was born in a big city and spent my early years there too, i grew up in a very small village where everything is much slower. but as you said, no job nor career there. Although, when older, i’d still like to be in a small town
loved this post and I can understand why you feel this way for Bangalore. I have been there and its truly magical. I am a city girl though for some reason, living in the city makes me the happiest not like any other members in my family 😀
I like the quiet of a small town. But I like the activities of a big town. So I’ll go out for a bit and the return home to the quiet, which is what I prefer.
I’d love being in a small quiet town. I’ve never experienced that before so I can’t say much as I am a city girl. But it seems really peaceful! I’d like that.
The sad part about north east is the lack of opportunities and facilities. Even now things are so slow and laidback, it would be difficult to live there as opposed to stay there for holidays. I really wish there were atleast a few good MNCs so that people like us who crave mountains and rivers and the charm of small towns have an option to settle there.
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I lived in a small town in Ireland for a few years (originally Dublin) and then moved to NYC – the polar opposite of small town. I’m now in Brisbane and love the smaller feel. People are so friendly, life is generally less stressful too
I have lived a decade in small town and decade in metro cities too. I have lived in different cities and Bangalore is one of them. I always love Bangalore because of weather and smooth life that is not possible in many cities.
It’s interesting- I’ve always lived in a city but then in 2016, I moved to the Central Coast in NSW which is a small town. There are definite perks – the neighbourliness, the lack of traffic, the slightly slower pace – but I also miss the city life for stuff to do like attend gigs and arty events. I am thinking of moving back to Sydney eventually for that but I also fear I will miss some of this but maybe, I need to make more of an effort too.
I prefer living in a small town and spending the time to get to know the neighbours is a real treat. Spending time in the city has its advantages but life is all about relationships.
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I am originally from a big city (Louisville, KY). Ever since I went away to college (which was in a small town), I’ve live in a small town. Sometimes I miss living in a big city because I liked the busyness of everything. I enjoy the small town that I live in…it is quiet and peaceful.
I always like the simplicity that comes with small towns brings. This was such a good read.
I, myself, love smaller towns in comparison with big cities. Each person is different in what they prefer.
To be honest, I’ve moved around a lot of cities and homes in the last 40 years. For me, personally, home is where the family is. As long as that exists, I am quite content wherever I am.
There is a charm in small town life that cannot be compared to big cities. But that’s true of anything, right?
I hope you find your answers, Naba. This is something each of us needs to find for ourselves. There is one thing I can guarantee though. M will be happy no matter where you are- small town or big, as long as she has you two. 🙂
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Hmm. I think I like the best of both worlds! Now that I am in a small town (I cannot even call this a town), I truly appreciate its charm. Being in the lapse of nature with snow clad mountains around me and of course, fresh air to breathe is truly a blessing. However, I do miss movie theatres and CCDs very much 🙂
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I was born in NYC so I have always been a city girl. But I can see the peace of being a smalltown person too.
I am a small town girl, too. I have travelled far and wide and still came back here. I love it here. I dunno, I guess it depends on the individual. I am now 43, married, and with 2 kids. I am happy. As long as you are happy, go for it 🙂
Believe me, go anywhere in India but not to Gujarat. No non-veg and a completely dry state. I miss Bangalore as it is truly simple and my kind of city. At least there you can breathe in peace.
I’m a city girl but I would love a slow quieter life in a small town.
I am kind of on the border honestly. I like the peaceful tranquility of small towns. But I like the opportunities of big city life as well.