22-year-old BPO employee gang-raped in a moving van.
There was a time when chancing upon such headlines was a rarity. It’s not to say that rapes didn’t occur as often or as unapologetically in the past as it does today. No, none of those things actually. But maybe, the sheer audacity of committing such crimes, like in a moving vehicle, wasn’t so commonplace at one point in time? Perhaps our parents would be able to ratify this assumption, if true or just a fallacy.
This world, our world, has woken up to a new era, an era where fear is an entity extinct in a prospective perpetrator’s heart. It’s a nightmare really, well, if you happen to dwell on it earnestly even for a moment. An utterly scary proposition for every family rather. Ever since Nirbhaya, there is a spurt in the number and frequency of outrageous incidents of more or less the same nature. Well, at least it seems so to the layman in me. What’s horrifying is there appears to be no apprehension in perpetrating such crimes, none whatsoever.
Where does that leave us – the girls and women of this country?
There is a constant evaluation taking place in our minds, isn’t it? We don’t know whom to trust. We are suspicious of the company’s cab driver as well as of the water can supplier. In fact, even the pizza delivery boy doesn’t make the cut. We don’t know if we should join the gym, for all we know the gym instructor could turn out to be a pervert in waiting. Sadly, even the security personnel of our apartments fail to qualify.
There is a hesitation in us all. We have been pushed to a corner where misgivings about every male who walks in and out of our lives is a given. But while this is not a good thing, I feel, it’s not so bad either. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this unease is what ultimately makes us watchful and keeps us safe.
Now, we cannot change those men who think women are theirs to torment and loot. But we can certainly be vigilant, that’s in our hands, isn’t it? So, here are a few safety tips that we can keep in mind, a few things we can do, to avert finding ourselves in such situations. Now, I’m no expert so I urge you to add on to the list too.
Safety Tips for Women
Never step into a cab or any other vehicle at night which has another male commuter. Never, ever.
If you miss the office cab and it’s late, stay back at the office, I say. Call your friends and family to see if they can pick you up and drop you home. If not, then I reiterate again, stay back at the office.
Keep your phone charged, speed dials set before venturing out late at night or any time of the day for that matter.
Remember, your safety is only your concern, apart from your family’s of-course.
In the event of any untoward incident, do not panic. I know it’s easier said than done but you need to try and fight it.
Avoid areas that are not safe, especially when you are alone.
Always chose safety when the other option is saving money.
Don’t let strangers into your home, not even for a moment.
If feasible, take lessons in self-defence techniques.
Don’t get bullied into attending office at ungodly hours. Remember you need to stand up and speak for your safety. Your employer probably doesn’t care what happens to you.
As much as it’s imperative that we don’t alter our lifestyle due to fear, its also equally, if not more, necessary that we weigh the pros and cons of going somewhere or trusting someone.
It would be easier if we didn’t have to be on guard all the time and if society was safe. It would be easier if men didn’t rape. But that isn’t happening anytime soon, so we need to take safety into our own hands. I also know these are not enough by any standards. And if you look carefully, these are perhaps helpful only to some extent to women working in metros or towns. I honestly don’t have the slightest idea as to how we can keep our sisters in the rural areas safe or what they can do to fight this. They don’t have it easy. If anything, they probably have it harder considering the barbaric episodes that come to the front.
Well, all I want to say through this piece is that do whatever possible to be safe. Let’s not make it easy for them to rip apart our sanity. Let’s show them we may be afraid but we certainly won’t go down without a fight.
Stay safe!
I never thought something like this would happen in Bangalore. It is so scary!
I agree with you have said. Our safety is only our concern. Next comes the family. The rest are just waiting to point their fingers at the lady in question.
I'm not too sure if I'd venture out alone again.
I agree, it is becoming extremely risky to step out for a girl, all by herself!
All the media hype and attention is only instilling more fear in all of us!
So so terrible, Naba. Makes my stomach turn. Good tips there. Also, it would help to carry a pepper spray and also know how to have it within reach and how to use it.
Terrible news this one. It's a sad state of affairs but unless the ladies take things into their own hands it can be difficult. Good tips
PhenoMenon
http://throodalookingglass.com/lifes-dreary-moments/
It's a sad commentary on life, when a woman must lose her innate trust in the goodness of others. You make some good points.
I have no words, Nabanita. When I read that this has happened again, I went numb. What's wrong with us as a people?
Thank you for the tips. If they can save even one woman from an incident like this, you've done your bit for humanity.
Things are seriously getting worse everyday.
This was a shocking incident. And those tips are pretty valid. I usually take a lot of care but as you rightly sais – always scared of every other guy. 🙁 This fear curbs so much of our freedom (not just physical but in our minds too). I am glad you wrote this post Nabanita. So important in present times.
I would like to add one more, Naba. Stand for each other. I know of people who join the male-force and enjoy putting the blame on the victim. While the Manager says, 'I can't take this up with management. They'll make stories out of it.' The least we can all do is stand up for a fellow human, at least in time of need.
I would like to add one more, Naba. Stand for each other. I know of people who join the male-force and enjoy putting the blame on the victim. While the Manager says, 'I can't take this up with management. They'll make stories out of it.' The least we can all do is stand up for a fellow human, at least in time of need.
You know what, Naba? While I get the safety tips and women needing to take precautions, it frustrates me time and again that we are the ones who are always told to take care and not to things. Why aren't men told to just stop raping women? Why aren't men given precautions on not to touch women without permission? Why aren't men told to respect women? It really frustrates me. Women should be allowed to work late if they want to. They should be allowed to stay out late if they want to. None of this gives men permission to rape us. I had written a post a couple of years ago on advice to men: http://www.livingmyimperfectlife.com/my-rape-advisory-to-men-in-india/
I would still like to believe that Bangalore is relatively safer than most metros…Of-course, have said that I also know there is no place in India or the world which is completely safe for women..
I agree..And I don't trust the media anyways because they like to increase their circulation or TRP at the cost of inciting people and scaring us
Oh yes I forgot that point Rachna..yes, we should indeed carry that!
I agree Pheno…it's so important that we look after ourselves and take things in our own hands
It is sad, isn't it…When this world is as much ours as theirs!
I hope it can and even if it can't , I hope this doesn't happen again, ever again!
True!
Thanks Parul..I just want that women stay extra vigilant till men learn to behave…
I agree Rekha…It's so important that we do that, if women won't support each other then it's a loss to our own kind!
I agree Sanch..Of course, men can't behave like prehestoric creatures and wild animals tormenting women..And women shouldn't have to live with fear or curtail their freedom…It's just that, until men learn to toe the line we need to be safe and we need to take matters of our safety in our own hands…
Oh, that was a terrible incident!! You adress an important issue- great post – I believe they are important tips! And also wherever we are in the world, and whether we are men or women we need to take precautions to protect ourselves. even though it is always the violators fault, we can take the matter in our own hands by taking necessary measures.
True Eli..Until we can be sure that there will be no violators, while we fight for the change we need to make sure we are safe and work towards that
Agree completely with everything Naba. As much as I hate to say it, we cannot change perverted mindsets. We've tried and we've not succeeded. It's difficult to do everything but we can do what is in our power. Not blaming the victim here but yes, we must take precautions.
Just want I wanted to say Shailaja…It's not the victims fault at all but we just need to be careful and keep ourselves safe till things change, meanwhile we can keep fighting for change too …