Stop Bullying | When They Bullied The New Girl

Mar 19
NabanitaDhar


 I hear such terrible stories of bullying these days that I wonder what has happened to kids these days? Or, most importantly, what has happened to the world? What are we so mean to each other? But then when I think back to my school days, I realise that bullying existed even then just that I didn’t realise or even recognise it as bullying then. That’s why I think it’s high time we stop bullying or make an effort to at least. In fact, with M starting school this year, I’m worried about it even more.

 

Today, I’ll share a story with you about a little girl who was shifted to a new school when she was in the 6th standard. She was only in middle school then and there she was one day in an unknown classroom, in an unknown school being stared at by a host of unknown faces. Let’s call her new girl. Note here that she was the youngest in the family, always loved and cared for. She wasn’t really aware of the mean world at that point. 

 

During her first month there it so happened that a teacher was absent, there was no substitute and hence the girls (it was an all girls’ school) decided to play a particular game and include the new girl in it as well. A good gesture, right? Well, hold on to that thought for a moment. Now let me tell you something about the game. It was called ‘F.L.A.M.E’, a game which girls played often in school during those days; a game about puppy love percentages and crushes. You get the idea right? Well, in short, a harmless game really.

 But what happens when a class full of students is left without a teacher? Well, they make noise, a lot of noise. And that’s what happened on that day as well. Compelled by the commotion a teacher from the next class walked in, all angry and agitated, ready to dish out punishments. But of course the classic thing to do was ask what was going on there and so she did. It was then that all the girls unanimously pointed towards the new girl as if to say that she, and not them, was responsible for it all. And strangely the teacher believed it to be so as well.

 The teacher then walked up to the new girl and found the paper where LOVE and CRUSH percentages had been calculated by every girl in the class. What happened next? Well, for reasons beyond comprehension, the teacher scolded the new girl for teaching her girls a ‘bad game’. In fact, she went so far as to make the new girl sit alone, separated from the rest of the class every day from that day onward. This was to be her punishment. For what you ask? As hard as it is to believe, it was for agreeing to play a harmless game with girls she thought would become her friends one day. And apparently also for a ruckus, she hadn’t created in the first place.

 It was too much for the new girl to take. She was new there and didn’t have any friends yet. On top of that, it was as if she was being penalized for being the unknown face in school. This affected her in a big way. She couldn’t sleep at nights and suddenly became quieter than usual. Then one night her elder sister found out all about it. She found out that this new school was targeting her little princess for no valid reason at all. Of course, the elder sister would have liked to give the teacher a piece of her mind but she was also just a high school student then. So, she did the next best thing. 

 The elder sister told the new girl to divert all her energy towards studies. She told her it was okay to be alone but it was important to never feel lonely. She reminded the new girl that she had her family by her side. She told her to turn this to her advantage; in such a way that the students and teachers in the new school are forced to alter their behaviour. It wasn’t easy but the little one worked at this every day, day after day. And after almost 8 months when the term results were out the new girl, the girl they had ostracized, scored the highest leaving everyone behind. And slowly yet certainly they all changed their attitude towards the new girl, not that she needed them anymore because her sister had taught her to be happy otherwise too.

Now, I shared this because I felt the students and the teachers were unfair here. Punishment is alright provided it is justified and within limits. Targeting a new student is nothing sort of bullying. It’s not acceptable at all. Imagine the trauma the little girl must have gone through? At least she could share with her sister and had a shoulder to lean on. There are people who are affected by bullying and have to deal with it all alone without anyone to rely on. Or, sometimes they can’t find it in them to share. Thus what happens is that they sometimes lose the battle leaving behind unanswered questions, distraught loved ones.

So I ask everyone today why can’t we not resort to bullying? Is it so hard? What is there to gain by being mean to anyone and that too on purpose?

To those affected by bullying, I wish to say that don’t let anyone make you feel miserable. Your happiness is in your hands. If people laugh at you, let them. If they taunt you, let them. I think the best way to deal with bullies is to ignore them and not let them win. Channelize the energy to something positive. Build yourself and remember only your opinion of yourself matters, nobody else’s. Keep fighting!

“Things will get easier, people’s minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.” ― Ellen DeGeneres


PS: That new girl, she’s my sister. And I’m happy to say that after that incident she has fought every bully in her life and I’m sure she’ll continue to do so in the future too. She has built herself beautifully in spite of being bullied. I’m just so proud of her and I’ll also always be with her.

bullying | stop bullying | be kind #bullying #stopbullying

49 thoughts on “Stop Bullying | When They Bullied The New Girl”

  1. It is weird and sad that the teacher couldn't see through the whole thing and punished a child like that! It is experiences like these that teach us a lot. Glad that you helped your sister channelize her energy in a positive way! Way to go!

  2. Wonderful & positive, Naba!
    Nice to have a supportive elder sister. Am sure my younger sister also has a similar story to share 🙂

  3. Focusing your energy on something positive from something negative will always turn out for the better. It also helps us learn how to survive the real world in the future. Thank you for this story!

  5. I'm surprised the teacher made such assumptions about the new girl. Good for you, for teaching your sister how to rise above. I was also bullied as child and it made me a much stronger person, in the end.

  6. Well done! It is often very difficult for a child who is new to school to be accepted easily and I'm glad that your sister rose above all the meanness!

  7. Sigh…bullies are bad enough without teachers being mean as well. Kudos to your sister for becoming stronger and more resilient.

  8. Having moved 7 schools in 10 years, I was almost always the 'new girl'. I'm glad to say, with one exception, I was never bullied. But I know how bad it can be. Children can be really mean, surprisingly. And teachers find scapegoats! 🙁
    I'm glad she had you in her corner, Naba! ♥

  9. I wish someone could have talked to that teacher. My siblings and I shifted schools all through childhood. If some child bothered me, I went to my elder sister. It's wonderful that you were there for her.

  10. I wish someone could have talked to that teacher. My siblings and I shifted schools all through childhood. If some child bothered me, I went to my elder sister. It's wonderful that you were there for her.

  12. It is really sad that in India a few teachers are so mean. I wish her parents has complained about her. Atleast I'm glad she had her elder sister to help her. I seriously don't know what joy a few people get in bullying others. Maybe this is the only way that they feel powerful.

  13. Wow! Great big sister that little girl had. I cannot understand the teacher at all Naba! Ok – people do make mistakes and mistaken judgments BUT a teacher who thinks that the right punishment for a transgression is lifelong ostracizing? Truly does not deserve to be teaching

  14. Kudos for buoying up her spirits, rooting for her, and instilling those great lessons! At times, To ignore is the best form of offence.

  16. Hard enough to be the new kid in school without having to face behavior like that directed at you. Silence is often the best weapon in cases like this. Kind of ridiculous and outrageous that a teacher would walk into a room like that and believe a bunch of children. And why would the room be unattended anyway? Sounds like that school should have been more attentive in the first place. Thanks for sharing your story!

  17. Sometimes teachers can be so blind. And for a child that's way harder to bear than unfairness from other kids. Kudos to your sister to turn it to her advantage.

  18. I have studied in 8 different schools because my dads job took us to places. I know what your sister must have felt. I know what it means to be a new girl. But she rose above the meanness and that is what stays with you. But the teacher ? I fail to understand many a times why would educators make such wrong judgment.

  19. I feel so cross that the teacher joined in the unfairness. That really sucks worst of all. The other girls were just trying to get themselves out of a scrape. GOOD FOR YOUR SISTER for combatting them and coming back so strongly. I'm glad she has such wonderful family around her, and such a clear head about the situation.

  20. If only teachers were more understanding these could be erased to an extent. But sadly, there's not much teachers like that… and there comes family. Kudis to you for been there for your sister. 🙂

  21. My husband was bullied as a child. So many good people were. When we grew up it was considered "normal". Now, the types of bullying that go on exceed anything we could have imagined back in the 1950's. Shameful how the teacher reacted. I was beginning to think you were the new girl – kudos for being the understanding and loving sister!

  22. I hate it when such assumptions are made. It's too harsh to treat a new girl like that. But I am proud how you two sisters worked things out 🙂 It's very inspiring, shows what family actually means. The bullying that goes on now is scary. Sometimes a harmless comment can become cruel gesture.

  24. Even I can't understand Shilpa…Now when I think about it I feel we should have told our parents about that teacher as well…

  28. I was too Debbie and yes it's better if we use bullying to build our strength instead of hiding behind a shell..

  31. I know Corinne, even now when I look back I wonder why did the teacher do this… It's good to know that you were not bullied so much inspite of moving 7 schools in 10 years…

    Thanks 🙂

  32. Even I think now that we should have told mom and dad about that teacher..I don't really know why we didn't…I guess I thought I was old enough to handle such situations for her …

  34. I don't know why we didn't tell mom and dad..Maybe we should have..I guess I thought I'll handle it all for her 🙂

  38. I agree Lisa,…I still don't understand why did the teacher do that in the first place…very strange…

  40. Me too … I wonder what came over that teacher or was it her way of just refusing to take blame for the fact that they left the class unattended…

  41. I agree Lizzi, the girls I can understand because maybe they were just scared and did that..But the teacher's actions I just can't justify

  42. I agree teachers these days and even then were not much like how teachers should be..Thanks for reading Sheethal 🙂

  43. Thanks 🙂 I agree these days the bullying is so much serious that steps must be taken to ensure it doesn't happen

  44. Thanks Rajlakshmi..I agree sometimes a harmless comment can become cruel and have serious consequences…

  46. I am an elder sis, too, Nabanita…and I can very well imagine your sister's plight. Now that I am a mother, I think I need to prepare myself to tackle my son's predicament, too, if such a situation arises in his life later. Thanks for sharing such a thought provoking post.

  47. Glad you identified with it Sangeeta..yes, we need to be very aware with children nowadays since limits have been crossed now..it is not like it was earlier

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