Everyday struggles of a working mom. Are they related to the abysmal number of women in management?

Have you ever wondered why we don’t see more women in senior roles across organisations? Why is it that gender diversity is still something that we are aiming at instead of having realised it aeons ago? Is there a correlation between the everyday struggles of a working mom to the low percentage of women in decision making positions? 

For some reason, I seem to be drawn to these conversations and issues more than anybody I know. As it happened, a couple of weeks ago I gawked helplessly at the sheer imbalance between the number of male and female managers during a client visit. Were women not good enough to hold such roles? Certainly, that couldn’t be true.  

Then what is it that for years has been keeping this chasm intact? What is keeping women out of the board rooms? Why aren’t we seeing more women on top? What is making it so damn difficult for organisations to attain gender diversity and for women to get promoted, to make strides into the upper echelons of power?  

Uneasy as it made me, I sought some figures to ensure that this gender imbalance in terms of roles wasn’t just a figment of my imagination. So, I googled and googled to find the below numbers which should give you some idea about how serious and omnipresent this issue of fewer women on top is.  

As per an article here, as of 2019, the percentage of women in senior management sits at 29%. This number which is a far cry from anything resembling balance still is our best so far. Unbelievable, isn’t it?   

If you take a look here, India is among the countries with the lowest percentage of female managers. And the low is also despicably low.  

As per an article here, nearly half of Indian women leave the workforce between junior and middle management levels.  

As per this article in the Economic Times,  “Out of every 100 CEOs and managing directors of companies listed on the National Stock Exchange, only about three are women, and this has been the case since 2014.   Out of 1,814 chief executives and MDs of NSE-listed companies, only 67, or 3.69% are women as of March 6, 2019, as per latest data from Prime Database. This shows that the percentage of women CEOs/MDs has remained almost stagnant since March 2014 when out of 1,249 CEOs/MDs, 40, or 3.2%, were women.”  

Does it not bother you?

All this talk of gender diversity and removing the unconscious bias against women and still we haven’t made any impact. But what is more disconcerting is that a huge majority of Indian women leave the workforce before reaching the middle management level. And it makes you wonder why? Something is causing women to drop off of lucrative careers. But what?  

Everyday Struggles of a Working Mom

I think the answer to this puzzle is in understanding all the things working women and moms need to do on any given day as opposed to the dads. Or, all the changes women need to make in their careers to balance their family life and also take care of everything at home, the latter with or without hired help. Of course, the bias that comes into play leading to the gender pay gap or lack of promotions for women is very much there. But today, let’s talk about the juggler’s hat that every working mom has to wear and how it affects her rise and her career.  

Being on the inside of this industry, working for about 11 years now, I have seen women deal with all these problems very closely.  And this is my insider’s perspective. Also, it does help that I’m a working mom myself. 

Let’s talk about the juggler’s hat that every working mom has to wear and how it affects her rise and her career.

When you see a dearth of women in leading positions, some of the reasons could be what I discuss below.

Roundabout the time a woman reaches the middle management level, she is also most probably undergoing a change in her personal life. It may be that she has just got married and now has to shift cities to be with her husband or completely migrate from one country to another to set up a new home with him. The likelihood of the husband switching jobs or cities or leaving his job completely to be with his wife is quite rare in India. So, naturally, highly educated women often find themselves letting go of their careers on good trajectories because that is what the belief is that women are supposed to do. So, gender diversity in the workplace definitely suffers as a result of this in India.  

Everyday struggles of a working mom. All that we have to do in a day to get 1/3rd of the success and pay that men get without doing half of what we do in a day. #workingmom Click To Tweet  

Then again while it’s the couple who has the child, if and when they decide to, it is the mother on whom falls the bulk of the child-caring responsibilities. More often than not this phase comes into a woman’s life when she reaches or is about to reach the middle management level. It’s a marathon she has to run from dawn to dusk balancing her career and her kids not to mention the home too. This often results in many women opting out. While the men never really have to fall into this conversation of balancing responsibilities, women, unfortunately, inherit this by virtue of their gender. Again, a loss to the greater cause of women having a say in every sphere of decision making in different industries.  

It's a marathon she has to run from dawn to dusk balancing her career and her kids not to mention the home too. #workingmom Click To Tweet  

So as you can see, at every step, the woman has to weigh her options and give up one thing in favour of the other. But if she decides to stay on then she runs a race with obstacles at every step and with tasks lined from dawn to dusk while men have a clear track with only their careers to concentrate on. So, is it really so striking then that there are so few women on top and so many men controlling every conceivable industry in the world? 

While the men never really have to fall into this conversation of balancing responsibilities, women, unfortunately, inherit this by virtue of their gender.

Not convinced yet? Maybe this will help. Let me give you a snapshot of what women typically do on an ordinary working day as opposed to men and then you’ll see what we are fighting against. Also, remember this tweet?  

I’ve been helping to baby-sit my year old grandson this past week & it’s brought home to me the stark reality of this image. I salute every working woman & acknowledge that their successes have required a much greater amount of effort than their male counterparts pic.twitter.com/2EJjDcK1BR

— anand mahindra (@anandmahindra) February 5, 2019

Things Working Moms Need To Do In A Day And Things Dads Need To Do

A regular run of the mill working mom or woman

Wakes up early.

Prepares lunch boxes and breakfast for the kids or spouse or both.

Drops kids to school or the bus stop.

Rushes to work.

Generally works sincerely in spite of being paid less than her male counterpart with the same skills and at the same level.

Rushes back to pick up kids from daycare.

Feeds the kids.

Puts the kids to sleep.

Meanwhile takes care of folding the laundry, dusting and all the things that need attention at home.

Sometimes makes dinner too if she doesn’t have a cook.

Serves dinner to everyone at home.

Cleans up the kitchen before going to bed.

Finally, when her eyes are almost shutting down from exhaustion she gets her ‘Me Time’

Now, a regular run of the mill working dad or as we call them, a man.

Wakes up when he wants to.

Sometimes he might wake up early to get the kids ready for school.

Might drop the kid to school as well.

Has breakfast prepared by the wife or mother or cook or at work.

Spends as much time as needed at work.

Always present at work because he doesn’t need to rush to cook, clean or take care of the child.

Can go for work tours without having to think twice.

Can go for team dinners as his daily chore is only the work he does at the office. It’s the wife who takes care of the house and the kids anyway.

Comes home to dinner which is prepared and served.

Doesn’t really clean the kitchen or put things away in their place before going to bed.

Has time for gym and other outdoor activities.

Doesn’t have to worry about the kids’ or his lunchboxes.

Now, I’m sure some men help in the kitchen (or are starting to) and do more but I guarantee you, nobody works harder than a working mom. There may be exceptions but for a regular middle-class family, the exceptions are rare. So, nobody works harder than a working woman, a working mom on any given day. Certainly not her husband. Some men acknowledge this and feel grateful for everything their wives do while others just assume it’s their birthright. But the point is for how long is this lifestyle sustainable for a woman? Hence, it isn’t really surprising that there are lesser women on top because something always gives when you are balancing so much. Either women take a step back or they work hard and remain unnoticed because there are always managers who think women won’t be able to do the work as freely as men. Of course, they are wrong but that hasn’t stopped anybody from not sabotaging women’s rights.  

The luxury of concentrating on just one’s career is not offered to a woman. She needs to have a strong support system in terms of daycare, help at home and more if she has to do that. More often than not she has one or the other and only rarely both. But men don’t have to even think about these things. This ladies and gentlemen is where gender disparity stays constant. This is where women lose out. This is where women bow out of the race because how long can you fight a fight you are not going to win?  

The luxury of concentrating on just one's career is not afforded to a woman. #workingmom #feministmondays Click To Tweet  

Yes, just one look at the to-do list of working women on any given day as compared to her male counterpart shows the disadvantage that the former need to work with every single day. Sometimes, women do it without even realising how unfair this load is. Honestly, I don’t even know when it’s going to change. The only reality is we are choked out of the competition one way or the other.  

How does that make you feel?

Pic Credit | Shutterstock

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