The Bangle Tangle

Nov 10
NabanitaDhar
It’s not always that you meet people, even though in the virtual world, whose thoughts and viewpoints mirror your own. It’s rare but it does happen. Rajrupa Gupta, the author of ‘The Crazy Algorithm of Love’ is one such writer and blogger friend of mine. Her blog ‘Riot of Random’, her take on the world, the view through her looking glass, is one that I feel very familiar with.
So when she asked me to write a post for her blog how could I not?
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My concerned neighbour: “Where are your bangles?”
Me: Err…what bangles!?
*Confused by her question I look into my hands wondering if I had been wearing something which was now lost*
My concerned neighbour: Shakha,Pola? (Red and white conch shell and a red wax/lac bangles respectively which signify a married Bengali woman)
Me: Ohh .. I didn’t wear it today.
My concerned neighbour: But you are married?
Me: Yes, I know that aunty.
*Mom looks at me with an amusing expression*
My concerned neighbour: All you modern girls, what’s with not following traditions?
Me: Traditions? Ohh… I am married and a girl so I need to carry symbols of that?
*And I laugh to hide the fact that I am annoyed with her*
My concerned neighbour: Yes and your mom wears them too? It’s bad not to wear them you know.
Me: Well aunty I respect my mother’s choice and the fact that she understands it’s my choice if I choose to wear them or not….
*I smile and an uncomfortable pause follows*
Me: More tea aunty?
*And I get up to move towards the kitchen lest I cross any sort of line*

It happened again, my bangle tangle! 
Read the complete post here


19 thoughts on “The Bangle Tangle”

  1. Naba, Some years ago, even I had written about my not wearing & the reactions I get! Strangely even my article's name was 'Bangle Tangle'!
    I was surprised to see this. The sentiments echoed are same too!
    We have a system of policing whereby people are made to follow the customs! Bangles are an important part of a married woman's life in India! But, not so for widows…
    I wear the red shankha bangles as per tradition, but just 1-2 pairs!

  2. Ohh is it! wow that's unbelievable..!

    I agree Anita, it's up to us to wear…its just annoying that the society believes that they can bully women into toeing a certain line, which is annoying isn't it?

  4. Few days back my maid and I got in an argument about some stupid superstitious belief she threw at me ! She was so persistent and her arrogance took me by surprise, I wish I could be more patient like you , I din't even hide my annoyance. She was all tales about how the traditional genre women have followed all the stuff and we must follow it too!!! Gah !Its good few women like you and I stand up and stray apart and live life on our own terms 🙂

  5. traditions are forced upon women in our country..but when it comes to men..the rules are different..

  6. Oh…I cn completely connect with this one…my wife often feels sorry how she would love to wear those fancy wrist watch of her…but cannot because of those shaka polas bumping into it….her mother wants her to wear those…nd ofcourse theres our society to fan it up evn more…..

  7. Oh…I cn completely connect with this one…my wife often feels sorry how she would love to wear those fancy wrist watch of her…but cannot because of those shaka polas bumping into it….her mother wants her to wear those…nd ofcourse theres our society to fan it up evn more…..

  8. Oh I know what you mean! I go through this every now and then. I once asked a relative how wearing bangles or a bindi make me any more married than I am? How does it define my commitment to the institution of marriage?? And why was the husband spared any such "symbols"? The lady had no answer, all she did was keep harping on how traditions are meant to be followed no matter whether you find logic in them or not 😐 Unfortunately it is true, it is usually one from our tribe who brings us down..

  11. Oh I know what you mean Nisa… I don't understand why women themselves love making their own lives difficult!

  18. Hi, I am not even married yet but I found Shankha Pola is so beautiful so I wear them. No one know it's supposed to wear by married woman though. I am from Jakarta – Indonesia 🙂

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