The Obsession With Fair Skinned Women

Oct 24
NabanitaDhar
 

Read my post on Women’s Web on the #GirlsRock Initiative

 

Open any of the matrimonial sites online or glance through the section for ‘wanted brides’ in newspapers. What do you see there? I see a sickness that has made such deep inroads in our society. Yes, I see yet another example of the society’s pathetic attitude towards women as I read the words ‘Seeking a fair girl’. This, recurring in almost every ad. I don’t know what our fascination with lighter skin colour is! I truly don’t but I do know it’s one of the most malignant maladies plaguing our society today.

 

What do you make of a prospective groom’s sister asking the potential bride why the colour of her feet is darker than her face? What sense does it make? Or, what purpose does it serve rather?

 

A woman is so much more than her skin colour. Whether fair or dark how does skin colour come into the equation; that too when it comes to a woman? A man can be dark but he’s acceptable? A man can even look like an ogre but still our society warrants his ridiculous objection to a bride with a dark complexion? Why the prejudice?

Read the complete post here: http://www.womensweb.in/2013/10/fair-skin-for-women/

25 thoughts on “The Obsession With Fair Skinned Women”

  1. I read your complete post. You are so right but I don't think the obsession with fair skin is limited to women. Now-a-days, ads of fair and lovely are followed by fair and handsome.
    We live in a sad world where beauty is adored more than character.
    Let's hope people do understand the futility of these things.

  3. There are some factors in our brain that cause likings and dislikings. Some one likes a kind of food that is disliked by many others. That is how we are. Diversified, yet with many similarities and dissimilarities. And we are slowly and slowly progressing in a slow evolutionary process towards advanced mind capacities. For those who had attained a higher mind maturity, the acts of those who have not attained that level might appear as ridiculous. But when we achieve some uniform higher mind capacity level, these kinds of problems are bound to disappear. But evolutionary progress will not reach to its peak in one generation.

  7. I am dark and I am proud to say that I am beautiful but this confidence was not there with me throughout. As a kid I have been teased and called black cat and what not. It was my hubby who brought this confidence within me. He loves me and to him I am his Mrs. Universe and that’s it. The only way I see a solution to this problem is only when you start feeling comfortable about your complexion. No cream can help you accept yourself, you just have to do it.

  9. There is more than the skin colour and good looks…- a beautiful heart & mind!
    The day Society realizes this, I'll believe we are truly evolved.

  14. why this discrimination of colours first… what does the skin do?
    I have experienced many situations that people are so dumb that THEY TRUST who are fairer and they ditch who are darker in their complexion…oooff… how can people be like this???

  15. i recently got married and I am fairer…
    but whoever sees Us(My Hubby & Me) are commenting and comparing the skin complexion… I feel like slapping them right at their face…but I couldnt even react with any kind of expression.. 🙁

  17. I know… something is seriously wrong with the way our society, infact we think..!! what's colour got to do with anything!

  18. we are looking out for a bride for my brother in law…and i was quite appalled at the way my own family members were so particular that the girl should be fair. On the other hand, we are looking out for my sister in law as well. and you should see the number of responses on the matrimony site… :O yes…she is fair. sadly…what ppl do forget is that it is the character of the girl that is going to keep the marriage alive and not the color…this comparison happens even in new borns!! its just horrible. just the opposite of what thescribbler mentioned, i am darker than my husband. AFter my daughter was born. everyone was so happy that she took after her dad!! :O looked like him and had his color!!…no comments 🙂 am just glad she is healthy.

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  22. Fertility Rituals

    Marriage is one of the biggest fertility rituals Known in Indian culture. When two people get married. they are said to enter grihasta ashram where they are expected to bear children. satify their sexual urge, earn money and follow religious practices. Hindu marriages profess the idea of coming together of the energies and paving way to a new creation.

    Offering of Grains

    Throughout India, one thing that remains common to all communities is offring of grains in wedding ceremony. Mostly rice, puffed rice or whole grains, these grains are fed to the sacred fire in different ceremonies.

    Importance of Shiva's Bael leaves

    Holy Bael leaves are proffered in several ceremonies before the wedding and after it. In many communities in india, before the wedding day arrives, Bael leaves are placed in earthen pots which are topped with different kinds of cereals. After the wedding, the sprouted seedlings are then released in a flowing river or a pool. This ritual is performed to invoke blessings of Lord Shiva upon the married couple and pray for their progeny.

    Vishnu's pious Lotus

    As per mythology, at the time of creation of the universe, while lord Vishnu was pondering over the creation of mankind, a pious lotus rose out of his navel. On that lotus was seated Lord Brahma who paved way to the creation and illumination of the universe. Thus, lotus remains symbolic of procreation, birth and fertility. It is Therefore, offered during wedding puja to the gods to confer potency upon the couple. Also, At the time of a Hindu wedding, the bride and the groom are given the stature of Goddess Lakshmi and Lord Vishnu because they represent the eternal companionship and exemplify how a relationship between husband and wife should be.

    Nose ring

    Usually seen as a piece of accessory, almost all brides sport nose ring on their wedding day. In some communities, girls are told to get their nose pierced before they tie the knot.

    Sacred coconut rituals

    Across India, since time immemorial coconut has enjoyed its association with human fertility in a sacrosanct manner. In Gujarat, there is a ritual of bride presenting a coconut in a customary way to the groom at the time of the marriage. Here coconut is symbolic of the progency of the couple that the bridegifts the groom. Of all the fruits, coconut is most closely related to human skull because of the three marking on its base that resemble human facial features.

    The mantras of virility

    During saat pheras in a Hindu marriage, there are several mantras that are chanted for progency of the couple. While the first phera is for a long lasting companionship, in the second Phera, "Kutumburn rakshayishyammi sa aravindharam", the bride promises the groom that she will fill his with love and will bear children of him.

    The History

    There was a time when potency was considered as the be all and all of all activities. The earliest ritual of fertility among Hindus can be dated back to the Harappan civilization where it has been discovered that people worshipped clay figurines of a mother goddess who represented fertility. Several phallic symbols representing gods in sitting position wearing bull's horns (Bull being a universal symbol of male potency) have also been found at the sites of indus Valley Civilization. As the world evolved and ancient civilizations paved way to the modern societies, marriage started being considered as a mandatory ceremony before women could conceive. Also, the idea of marriage was propelled by the thought of having the family legacy move ahead; so that families could get heirs.

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