Life, one day you are this carefree teenager fancying the lead singer of a band while on another you find yourself ducking the shells life throws at you. Yes, like it or not, life is as unpredictable as unpredictable can be. You never know what you end up as; even where or with whom. It’s like a ground full of tripwires; one misstep and nasty explosions become the order of the day. But what can you do? You’ve got to keep going for there’s just one way out. Forward.Looking back, sometimes I wonder if I knew what I was getting into with Engineering. And I can honestly tell you that I never really did. I just went with the flow. How I wish I hadn’t!
Truth be told all I want now is to be engrossed in books, reading and experiencing life from different perspectives. Yes, even if through fiction. And then of course, write. Basically do something, anything, related to stories and books. Is it too much to ask? I don’t say I’m very good at either but fond of those, I certainly am. That is supposed to count, right? Doing what we love is important, they say, so I want that and in the process, maybe, earn a living too. Working on excel sheets, testing applications or raising defects don’t really make the cut for me.
A switch of career paths seems to be the logical option then. Clearly. But it isn’t that easy. Besides in India, it is looked upon cynically. In fact why only a change of streams, anyone who takes a break in between jobs usually ends up in the ‘not too keen’ list of perspective recruiters here. So what chance would I have? It is a big step, a huge change, anomaly even. What do I do then? Continue with this job that I don’t really like? It sure pays the bills and of course money is a huge factor here. But reality is I don’t particularly enjoy it. I just do what I do for the heck of doing it and the pay obviously.
Maybe I just need to be in it till the time is right to take the leap. What do you say? But would I be able to recognize ‘right time’ if it ends up staring at my face? Would I?
An incident with my colleague of how the gigantic egos of managers are more important than the hopes and aspirations of an employee makes me realize what a terrible hell hole I’m in. It makes me think if I really want to be part of this industry. But another voice inside me tells me that such morons are present everywhere. But still isn’t it better to deal will them in a field that I rather enjoy?
I don’t know what point I’m trying to make here. Perhaps, I just need a change. I know though that it isn’t that simple. So maybe I’m putting it out there in the universe for some clarity. Who knows I might actually gain some perspective in this process and end up with the answers to my questions? Possible?
Have you ever felt this way? If yes, what did you do?
you know what?
you are not alone on this rocking boat
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Commenting again … I seriously think you should switch. This place is sucking out your energy. Bring the change and see how it goes. I Hope you will find a happier workplace soon.
I sympathise with you, Naba. Cannot be easy going through life wishing you were doing something else. Is there any way you can take a break of a month or so from work, dabble in something you enjoy and see if it has the potential to grow into something sustaining and economically viable? That would be the best option, I guess. Either way, I wish you luck and hope you get your answer soon. You are too wonderful to waste away in a job you dislike.
Listen to your inner calling.
As an ex-Software Professional, I can share that I did 🙂
I set financial goals to identify the right time – so much in the bank and I am out of here sort 🙂 And I did get out as you know 🙂
I feel for you. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I'm glad you put the questions out there, and wish you clarity and perspective.
Naba, I so hear you as I'm in the same boat as you. I floated along ending up in secretarial work and now admin work and I have been doing it a long time. I too feel I need a change and would love, like you, to write and read and the like and stuff; however, as you say not always that easy. I think it's important that we start off small and take baby steps towards our dream, even by writing before, after or in between work (breaks) if need be. And I would like you to change your words and mind set dear: You ARE good at writing. And yes, it helps to do what you love and the money will follow. There's a book with that title actually! 😉 Maybe speak with other writers/bloggers…as you are doing of courrse now and then…see what happens. I too, 'need' to do the same and/or do/follow my vision ('dream'). 🙂 <3
Hi Nabanita
This is the right time for you to switch to writing profession. Let me tell you why….. All the popular writers of today were once an engineer. For example – Chetan Bhagat (Five point someone), Ravinder Singh (I too had a love story), Tushar Raheja (Anything for you ma'am). So, it's the right time take the advantage of ongoing trend.
All the Best!
I am sticking to my job solely for money .. So I totally get what you are saying. How to get out of it or whether to switch – I am clueless…
Ahh…well that is good to hear, I guess? Or, maybe now! I don't know 🙂
True Rajlakshmi..I really need to change…I just need to figure out a few things before I do so…It'll be a big step and one that can't be retraced..
Break is not possible Shailaja , atleast for the time being…I'm trying too think of something, find a way out…I know it will take time … Of-course, any change is scary but have to jump in at one point or the other before it's too late..
Ahh you tempt me Anita 🙂
Oh yes Suresh… I think I need to do some analysis and just go ahead with it…
Thanks Laurel .. means a lot 🙂
Thanks Ell for the encouraging words 🙂 Yes, I need to take baby steps and do what I love…It will take some time but then what's life without some risk and without the will to follow our hearts .. 🙂 <3
Thanks Ravish…This is encouraging 🙂
Well, atleast we are not alone 🙂