Life is all about taking a chance and making the most of it. Yes, believe it or not, life is all about gambles. Big or small, subtle or obvious, it doesn’t really matter. What matters though is that you seize the moment even if certain defeat stares right back at your face. Because you never know when the stars may align to reward you for taking that dicey leap of faith. It can be choosing an unusual stream for graduation or marrying the person everyone warns you against. It can be setting up home in a foreign country or leaving a cushy job to follow your dreams. It can be anything but the truth is life stagnates unless you take that first step, even though hesitant and apprehensive. And when you take the chance, you also need to see it through.
I’m sure you have had countless such moments; moments when you surged right ahead wrestling the opposing current. I have too. Marrying S being one of the most significant among all I suppose. But there have been other forks in the road as well when it all came down to embracing the change instead of being defeated by it. The very first noteworthy shift being when I began living in a hostel for the very first time in my life; far away from home, alone.
I say this about hostel life always, it is an experience that you must have at least once in your life time. It makes you strong and shows you a preview of how things are going to be when you are all grown up. It equips you to deal with all sorts of people and obstacles in general.
Hostel life taught me the harsh realities of life as well. Though being from the north east didn’t make it any easier either. I was shocked to find that you can be treated as an outsider even in your own country. I found myself being looked at with a very different set of eyes, as if I had invisible and ugly horns. I realized how regional chauvinism is a painful fact, a stark reality in this country. Be it my professors or college mates, I was an outsider to them.
Your language, your state and what you eat, like it or not, has a bearing on how you are treated outside home. It was the first time I realized that horrid truth. Being a good person wasn’t important or so it seemed. The only thing that mattered was to belong to a certain caste or section.
But I didn’t stay there being a victim. I couldn’t because I wasn’t raised that way. I recall standing up for myself in front of a professor who not only ridiculed me but went as far as mocking my parents too because I belonged to the North East. All this because, apparently people from there are not fit to be engineers or anything else for that matter. I remember him threatening to fail me if I didn’t apologize. But I still didn’t because I wasn’t wrong. No, sir.
Honestly, there were times when I felt really down and out because of the way I was treated by some. All because of a twisted notion of an outsider. But luckily I didn’t give up. It was a conscious decision, my life’s course hinged on it. I couldn’t ruin my life because of some people who are yet to see the bigger picture.
So, I stayed back, I stayed firm, hurt but firm, and today when I look back to that time I feel happy of the way I came out of it. Yes, today I don’t prefer to keep in touch with folks from that phase of my life but I achieved what I had to from those four years in spite of the pains. Of course, I found S in the process so, all in all, a good way to start a new life. Right? So, I continued my journey believing that a person is more important than any region or language. And I’m so glad that I did that because I know I’m a better person for it.
In times when you find yourself out of your comfort zone, surrounded by hostility of any kind, always remember your purpose. Trust me it will help you sail through. I don’t say it will be easy or that you’ll never spend a night crying. It will and often you’ll find yourself losing patience. But that’s just the learning phase, it’s when you are being shaped into the person you’ll end up to be. Just remember, that risks are the key to start a new life, a better life.
Beauty of Happy hour.. written my post almost on same lines.. Liked yours 🙂
A Conscious Change
I think a lack of exposure leads to such unhealthy stereotypes in our country. I haven't lived in a hostel but stayed at a PG. It does make you immensely independent.
I think a lack of exposure leads to such unhealthy stereotypes in our country. I haven't lived in a hostel but stayed at a PG. It does make you immensely independent.
Well written post. Perseverance, consistency really makes the difference in our life.
You got a good deal I think – finding S.
Proud of you for standing up for yourself. We need to each be that comfortable with ourselves. Lovely, Naba.
It can be tough when you are up against so much of bias and stereotypes. Glad that you stayed firm and stood up for yourself! Kudos!
My mom spent 6 years in a hostel. The stories she shares are very similar to those shared by you. Fortunately or unfortunately I never had to stay away from home. Really proud of the way you chose to give it back to the professor. More power to you.
More power to you, Naba for standing up for yourself as you did. And how strong it must have made you! Hostel life does make you a different person. Hugs! It is so sad that even today, people from the Northeast are not treated the way they should be!
You are truly an inspiration! Kudos to you for sticking to your path despite the odds. ♥
You are truly an inspiration! Kudos to you for sticking to your path despite the odds. ♥
We all have our own battles. I am glad you stood firm and let them challenge your patience. You just inspired me to write a post.
Thanks Roohi 🙂
Yes, that's true Rachna staying alone teaches us so many things
Thanks John 🙂
Yes, I did, didn't I? 🙂
Thanks Shailaja… 🙂
Thanks Shilpa 🙂 It does feel good now that I think about it !
Thanks Rekha…Those four years really taught me so many things I life…
It is sad indeed Vidya…I hope it changes…
Oh and hugs right back at you:)
Thanks so much Kathy <3
So true, yes we all do, don't we?
I'll wait for that post Red 🙂
It is a pity that people from NE are still treated differently in other parts of our country. More power to you for believing in yourself and keeping your chin up! Love!
It sure is Aditi… Thanks 🙂
Didn't realize people could be this rude! It's great that you saw it through, it taught you life. That's all we need to carry forward – the lessons and not negative thoughts 🙂
I don't understand why people discriminate so much. All we need is humanity – that's all.
So glad you stood your ground and emerged stronger.
It is great to hear that you stood firm when faced with ignorance and prejudices. More power to you and all the strong women! I attended a wonderful dance festival from North-East two weeks ago. Have been meaning to write a post or two about that. May be soon.
Ignorance is rampant everywhere! I was subjected to much bullying as a child, because of it. If we can rise above, as you have, it makes us stronger people, better equipped to handle what life throws at us. Good for you!
I can relate to this so well, the idea of a hostel increasing your independence every step of the way. So happy that you emerged out of this a better, wiser person despite all the pain, my dear 🙂
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