Do you co-sleep with your kid?
One of the things I was sure of when I was pregnant was that I would not co-sleep with my kid. But what did I know? I was just a pregnant woman with romantic notions of motherhood. Remember the time when I planned not to let my daughter use any gadgets while eating dinner? I know a whole different level of stupidity that was in spite of being a millennial mother. Well, I guess that only makes me human but I do blame the books and English movies for this a bit. Anyway. So, when M was born after the first few nights of going from bed to crib and crib to bed every few hours, I thought co-sleep it is. And ever since, I have been co-sleeping with my daughter who is now 3-years-old.
Now, maybe it’s a cultural thing but in India, we mostly co-sleep with kids for the first few years. Things are, of course, changing and my very own best friend has been doing that but more often than not co-sleep is the most prevalent practice in this country. And as many articles would have you believe that it’s a strict no-no, and there might be some valid reasons too, it’s really not that bad at all. Well, I co-slept with my parents for the first few years of my life before moving to my own room and I think I turned out quite alright.
There are pros and cons to both I think. Co-sleeping helps in bonding for sure. As a mother, it helps me know that she is safe right next to me. But it also affects my sleep and therefore my health in some ways. I think a lot has to do with what works for every mother to start with. What works for one might not work for the other. I co-sleep with M because it works for me. And no, it doesn’t affect the relationship between the husband and the wife which if you would believe people ask me when I tell them we co-sleep with M. In fact, it’s not even the question here.
Now, I don’t know how much M is dependent on me for sleeping because she needs her dad’s shoulders to fall asleep on most nights. But I cannot imagine sleeping in peace if M is not next to me. One day a few weeks ago M was insisting on sleeping with my sister and I had to let her. But then I literally stole M from my sister’s arms after she had fallen asleep because I just couldn’t relax without her. Well, that’s just typical mother behaviour, I think. My sister thinks I’m crazy but then when hasn’t she.
One of the things about co-sleeping which helped me when M was an infant was that I didn’t have to wake up and walk to another room to feed her. Well, when you have to do it so many times in a night you rather reduce the exercise it entails. Of course, I had to be extra careful because you have to when sleeping next to an infant. And I was and it worked out great for us at least. Now that she is a little bigger, it has gotten a little easier though she ends up playing football with my neck for some strange reason. But now I have started to often wonder when would be the right time to make her start sleeping in her own room. Also, I wouldn’t mind waking up in the morning without being kicked the whole night or having had to play hide and seek with her legs and the blanket the whole night. Will I be able to, when I’ll be able to or will it be easy, I don’t know!
If you are a parent and have made the transition from co-sleeping, do tell me when would be the right time? And what measures do I need to take to make it smooth for both of us?
Our daughter moved out of our room when she was about 3 months old (2.5yrs now) and we have been v lucky that she doesn’t really wanna come in and sleeps through the night.
Truth is any separation will be tough on everyone but it’s like a bandaid you just need to pull it and as long as they know you are still present and there for them I believe it will be ok. We also use a gro-clock so she knows to stay in bed when the sun comes up. It helps with the routine and to let her know we will be there as soon as the sun is up no matter what
Oh that’s good. The sooner the better, you are right!
Nabanita recently posted…Do You Co-sleep With Your Kid?
The part of stealing your child back from your sister after she fell asleep is a bit much 🙂
But this is an interesting topic and i would love to see comments from others on their experience.
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Haha yes that was a bit much, wasn’t it? My sister keeps saying that to me all the time!
I don’t have children but I do have a friend who has a 1 year old baby and I know she sleeping with him ever since he was worn. He wouldn’t go to sleep otherwise. I guess it depends from mother to mother and from child to child.
As I had already mentioned on your FB post, I moved the kids to their own room by 4-5 years of age. By the time they were 2, I opened the large rail from their crib and joined it to our bed. That way they were sleeping in their own crib with an option to come on our bed in case they were sick or needed a hug. It worked out decently for both the kids.
Some of my friends are struggling with the exact same predicament. Most of them often crib that they don’t get enough time with their spouses thanks to this or that the kids feel lonely and it is not right to let them sleep alone. I don’t know much about this topic, but I would say the sooner, the better. It might make them independent and brave for all you know 🙂
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I have co-slept with all of my children. Some people think it’s crazy but it’s so much easier to have them beside you for night feeds. They do grow out of it and if you have a good bedtime routine for when they start sleeping through the night then they won’t want to sleep with you.
Heck no, they have rooms for a reason. I have enough issues sharing a bed with my husband, honestly. If we could afford it, we’d have separate wings in the house. I just love my space when I sleep.
I did when my kids were babies as that was the only way I got sleep. I miss the days of the boys waking me in the morning with snuggles.
I don’t have any children yet. However, I think co-sleeping will be a thing in the beginning and then I will transition out of it.
I don’t, but. I sleep with my daughter Fridays and my husband Saturdays, we have our time with her.. and She loves that!
I didn’t bed share with my kids but they were both in my room in a bassinet next to the bed until they got too big for the bassinet at around 5mo. I started with naps in the nursery and then the first chunk of night sleep and bringing them in with me at the night feeding then progressed to all night! Good luck – you’ll find what works for you!!
I don’t think there us something wrong with it. It just depends in the age I guess. Nevertheless, sleeping with children is fantastic.
I think it’s fine to co-sleep with your kid especially if they are still young in age. But again, as they grow, it could be time not to!
I think most parents in India do this. And I think it’s for the best. I can’t imagine leaving a kid in a separate room. It definitely works with the bonding!!
In my culture, we don’t co-sleep at all so it was pretty normal for me to decide not to even encourage co-sleeping as an option.
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Well I am not a mum yet so of course i do not co-sleep and i don’t think my parents ever did it with me or my siblings
I have never co-slept with my kids but I did encourage my daughters to do so simply because it is easier to feed when they are new borns. But I feel that co-sleeping after they are weaned is not such a good idea because the kids become quite clingy…. also how good is it for a couple? Don’t they need some alone time too?
I hear from my mom and aunts that sleeping with your baby is good. You build a more strong bonding by doing this. And i truly agree with all this idea.
I don’t think there’s any right or wrong to it. Whatever works for mother and child should be good enough. The part about M kicking your neck is so cute… Hehehe and how she sleeps on her father’s shoulder. Hopefully the transition would be smooth
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Oh yeah. both kids. Even the youngest at almost 6 still climbs up our bed in the middle of the night. They’re not used to sleeping away from us. But that’s ok. We love it!
We made AG sleep in a small bed adjacent to our bed when he was 2 years old and after 5 he slept in his own room in a bunk bed. It was a smooth transition and worked out well for us.
This one isn’t really for me, as I don’t have kiddies LOL. But I’m gonna send it over to my friend who has 2 boys – I’m sure she’ll find your post helpful 🙂 x
Was it really stealing your baby back from your sister? That bit was amusing and cute too. Such are mothers. They want to do away with children (in a healthy sense) and be not away from them. Children playing football with their parents’ heads, necks, and stomachs – oh they are born footballers, all of them!
After responding to your post on Instagram, I thought it is high time to talk to D about sleeping by himself in another room. which scared him to hell. And then there are other issues like 2 bedrooms of which husband uses one as the study to work late nights. Therefore, I don’t see moving out happening any sooner.
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I love co-slept with my kids even if they are not too small. And they love it.
No – I never co-sleep nor allow a kid to sleep with me. Just not my preference, and I believe they sould enjoy their own space as well.
Totally not a good idea to co-sleep with kids. For one, they eventually break into this habit of sleeping with you and then it’s real hard for them to unbreak and two, limits intimacy between you and your spouse.
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