Can you believe that September ends today? It has been quite a month, frankly. A month which seemed longer than any this year. A month where I vacillated between gratitude and anxiety liken an ambivalent fool. September has always been one of my favourite months with birthdays in the family and the promise of Durga Puja around the corner. But this time, it has been a tough, tough month. Honestly, this year, September has only been a reminder of how difficult the balancing act is.

Life hasn’t been easy these past few weeks. But then again, if I look at the bigger picture, I realise how shallow this sounds. There are so many people going through so much more and here I am complaining. It would be silly of me to not acknowledge that, of course. But having said that, I must still selfishily admit that it really has been a tough month for me. Then again, nothing worth achieving comes easy, right? Maybe it is all an indication of great things in the future. Who knows?

“Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

Today I reflect on September, the month that was and ,probably even, take away something positive from it. I have started following the 10 finger rule of gratitude a few weeks back and what better way to end this month, then with a roundup and some gratitude. Right?

September began with me finally taking the plunge towards self-hosting. It was a step I had been contemplating for quite some time now. And I’m glad I finally went ahead with it. I think that probably was one of the highlights for me this month. A new chapter in my blogging journey, a journey I so cherish. I’m so grateful that I could reach this far with blogging and have every intention to continue too.

Bangaloreans didn’t have it easy this month with a lot of bandhs and agitation every other day. The situation was volatile with tempers running high. But that’s when the spirit of the common man shone wonderfully. It was difficult, yes, travelling with an infant during this time but I found some wonderful souls who helped me unconditionally. I actually wrote about that very silver lining last week. This reminded me of something I had read in a book in school. Jawahar Lal Nehru in his letter to a teenage Indira had once written about how ordinary people come out of their cocoons and shine during trying times. I think I saw an example of that this time yet again. The City Police too did a great job of bringing everything back to normal. Surprisingly, we never stop to thank the law enforcement agencies but are quick to blame them for everything. There was another side to this too, something that had been bothering me, something I wrote about in a post called the confession of a perpetual outsider. It even found expression in the New Indian Express. But that surprisingly didn’t really make me that happy because I didn’t like the sensational headline they chose for the post. I guess some things don’t change.

In terms of freelance work, blogging and writing perspective, September was a good month with a lot more assignments in my kitty. I was particularly thrilled about my post on parenting – Sorry, I refuse to participate in the parenting rat race, being selected by Huffingtonpost India. It would be wrong to not be grateful about this aspect in this chaos.

It was a month where a lot fell on my shoulders and if you have seen me, you’d know I don’t really have that strong shoulders! The husband was out of town for most of the month and the little one decided to have health troubles all throughout. From loose motions to viral fever, it was relentless. For a first time mother like me, everything is a challenge even on an ordinary day. But this time, being in between projects, having to explain prospective managers that I cannot stretch at work, added to the stress even further. Everything just became all the more tough. I was depressed, anxious and upset. The lack of pro-women policies at work worried me and I wrote about that prejudice in my post based on Sheryl Sandberg’s book. But this also led me towards Mindfulness which I think I should be grateful about. Just starting to work on my anxiety, has been a revelation for me. I’m still not there yet, barely even, but it’s a start nonetheless.

My saving grace has been reading books as always and I did read a lot this month. All the light we cannot see by Anthony Doerr, Thrive by Arianna Huffington and Bossypants by Tina Fey, each inspiring in their own right. I also began with Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali and I’m loving it. I think these were some of my favourite things about this September.

This has been a month where I went from being extremely positive to extremely negative, from being happy to being cranky. Not to mention, it was physically and emotionally draining to the core. But I realised that it is up to me to help myself , ask for help even. And I did just that. I’m trying my best to stay positive and even implement positive habits in my day to day life. I don’t know to which extent I’ll be successful but I guess, the journey is more important that the destination. So, I’m glad I decided to make that journey towards inner peace.

I think even a tedious month like this one has actually taught me a lot. And I cannot be anything but grateful for that.

Gratitude

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day.

Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation.

In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.”

― Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny

Well, that was September for me. What about you?

Pic Credit: Tashatuvango via Shutterstock