What happens when we tell someone that we are sick?
- They ask us if we have consulted a doctor.
- If not, they urge us that we do so immediately. Yes, even if just for cough and cold.
- They insist that we take medicines as prescribed and on time.
- We are advised to take ample rest.
- They show concern and are willing to help us within their means, sometimes even beyond.
- We are cared for in every manner possible.
- They even suggest good doctors and hospitals we can consult.
Well, these are the reactions more or less, aren’t they? Feel free to add more, which I’m sure there will be.
What I’m trying to say here is probably that there is no judgment or raised eye brows to deal with when you are suffering from some illness or the other. There simply is genuine concern. Unless?
- There is nothing like depression. Stop giving yourself so much importance.
- Now that you are seeing a psychiatrist let’s not tell anyone.
- I feel so guilty having to put my family in such a situation.
- Why do you want to see a psychiatrist?
- She is seeing a psychiatrist. Stay away from her.
- They must have a history of mental illness.
Yes, such uneducated and nonsensical reactions are what you can count on.
Just last week an acquaintance of mine pointed out what a harrowing time she had been having. This on account of having expressed a desire to consult a psychiatrist. Think about it. She is educated, recognizes she is depressed and unwell to the point of seeking professional help. You would think that would be the end of her problems and the beginning of her recovery? Well, not really.
She now has to fight two battles. One with the society which refuses to acknowledge depression as a disorder which makes her feel guilty about putting her family is this situation. The other with the ailment itself. Isn’t that unfair? Isn’t it wrong to outflank someone who is already down and out?
It is not seeking and seeing the doctor that is bothering her. The reactions of her family and anybody else for that matter is what has been making it an extremely difficult battle to win. She is filled with guilt which she actually shouldn’t be.
I, of course, am no professional but I tried, along with my colleagues, to make it know to her that it’s okay. You know, she is a brave girl to know and seek help. Not everyone admits such problems to oneself, let alone to a bunch of outsiders. She has been talking about it, bravely too. I wish she gets better. Actually, I know she will.
Meanwhile, I just hope our society would stop, think and just not attach unnecessary stigma to words like depression, mental illness, psychiatrist, counselling etc. It’s not fair on those who are suffering, not at all.
What do you think?
Very well said, Naba. Depression should be treated just like any other disease.
Ah the stigma of mental illness. I deal with it on a regular basis. I see young people with mental health problems and parents sometimes are still unwilling to see it. Most of them are from migrant families from Asia, India and the middle-east for whom mental illness is something you can just 'get over'. I wish people responded to mental illness the same way we would when someone has cancer or even the flu! I hope your acquaintance goes and sees a therapist…it really is helpful.
Naba I fully agree that mental illness must be treated like any other illness.It is only in India that it is kept under covers.
nice post. unfortunately in India, visiting a counselor or a psychiatrist is inviting a 'paagal hai' tag for life.
I have seen people in villages react to mental illness. It's terrible and almost impossible to change their mindset. Mental illness is definitely one of the most misunderstood ailment. No one wants to acknowledge it. And the treatment is all hush hushed. If not anyone, I hope your friend's family support her.
Society just does not change, does it? Especially it never lets go of its prejudices. Since my youth – and THAT is long gone – we have been screaming to make people understand that mental illness is just that – an illness – and not something to stigmatize a person with. AND here we are, still having to scream with nothing much changed on the ground – even for something like depression. BUT, we should continue to scream or we can be sure that nothing will ever change
I've been tired answering people when I'm depressed, all they ask is 'Why?' 'Why are you depressed?' Is there ever an answer to that? People should stop asking and show some love to their depressed friends.
Indeed Vinitha 🙂
Oh I agree Sanch…As you say it is in this part of the world that mental illness is looked upon as something that we just can't get over…
I hope it changes in the future Usha ji , I really do
Agree Ankita and it's so not fair!
I hope so too Rajlakshmi… I hope times change and atleast the families back people because if not the family then who?
Ahh that is so depressing, isn't it Suresh? So sad that things take so much time to change or maybe never change…Disappointing really.
I agree Priyanka…I think we are missing a sensitivity chip somewhere!
I am with you there. As a society we have a very long way to do. Mental health is important and unless every one recognizes this, we will continue to think of counselling as a taboo. Great post Nabanita. I missed reading this earlier and found it on twitter!
Thanks Parul..I just hope we can reach a point where such stigmas are removed…
Don't know about this depression, but depression over bay of Bengal has been deadly for Tamil Nadu 🙂
Your friend should not delay in getting help due to the harsh words. Nor should anyone else. Untreated depression is a major cause of death by suicide or even a drastic cut in lifespan. Good article. Rakhee