Happiness. What do you think it is? A state of mind or something tangible like people and possessions. What is it really?
I think happiness is the ultimate goal of everything we do, our each and every endeavor. Achievements, success, satisfaction, relief and peace, everything at the end of the day reduces to a single point. The point being about happiness, don’t you think?
Every act that you and I carry out is a means to that end, a continuum of happiness. Analyze the goals of any individual and you’ll find happiness to be at the heart of it all.
The choices we make, eventually, are the dynamics upon which depend the fate of our eternal melee for joy. And these choices we must make with hope tussling through every single cloud of fear. This we must do, no matter how difficult, for if hopes were dupes, fears may be liars.
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears – Nelson Mandela
So, say not the struggle naught availeth especially when you have hope driving your choices. Remember happiness is always around the corner, you and I need to learn to recognize it. We need to have the heart to move with optimism no matter how difficult the process and grab every single, enduring shred of it.
All that sounds fine but what am I doing about it in my life? Surely, you must be curious. Am I just sermonizing or am I willing to do something about it as well?
So, for a change I have decided to ignore the toxic people in my life. Maybe even go so far as cutting them off from my day to day activities. The so called friends and acquaintances whose mere presence brings about nothing but negativity, I can surely do without them. Those who, if truth be told, are not really a part of my life anymore.
Out of courtesy, I often refrain from speaking my mind when certain people talk about things that I don’t agree with. I know they are wide off the mark or hold too high an opinion about themselves but I just can’t find the right words to get them off their high horses. I hate conflict and rather avoid it when I know my speaking something is as good as talking to a wall.
Perhaps it’s the fear of an ugly discussion that stops me. Then there are ‘friends’ with whom talking on the phone is always a one sided commentary of how everyone else is a minion in their grand scheme of things. The conceit and the false pride, I ignore all of that out of civility of course. But somewhere it annoys me to the point of running my mood as well. My happiness suffers in the process. Hence, after some careful thought, thanks to the uninterrupted time I got at the hospital, I have decided to slowly get rid of them from my life. A quite hi and hello at times perhaps, that’s all.
It is a choice I make knowingly with hope, without any fear because it is they who are lacking and not me. Their presence doesn’t enhance my life or my mind in any way. And there’s no point investing time in dead, unproductive relationships or in trying to show them the mirror, if I may put it that way. I have decided to be over and done with every connection that is selfish, fake and brings me nothing but a heartburn possibly!
So, that’s what I intend to do for my peace of mind and serenity.
What about you? Do you have toxic relationships and acquaintances as well? If so, how do you deal with them? With hope or fear? What is the choice that you make?
***
Join Janine Ripper and Mackenzie Glanville and some other wonderful bloggers like Corinne Rodrigues for the #FridayReflections every week. Today’s prompts are:
• Write about your first job.
• Are you a winter, summer, autumn (fall) or spring person?
• Reflect on why it’s important to express gratitude and/or the difference it has made in your life.
• Reflect on the following quote: May your choices reflect your hopes. Not your fears – Nelson Mandela
Of course, the best thing would be to cut off such people from your life. It becomes tricky when these people are unavoidable like a colleague, a boss or a close relative. You are doing right, of course.
I am amazed to see that so many of us are consciously making similar choices in life. Cutting out negativity is the first step to a happier being and people such as those who bring negativity is the first act of that step..
It was because of such toxic relationships that I started blogging, just to get away from the real world. It helped a lot. Few of these people were close relations and I couldn't cut off just like that but hubs helped me to move on and not get all bothered up by what they say. All the best to you dear, take that first step to a happy you.
I am such a introvert that nobody speaks to me.. saves time.. 😛
It is great that you have decided to do away with unwanted relationships for your sanity
It's our life and us to control it but usually the remote control ends up with other people isn't it?
http://throodalookingglass.com/hello-there-greetings-from-the-stick-people/
True Rachna…one or two of them are quite close or rather I thought they were ….But I have made up mind to not listen to their nonsense anymore… Ignore and continue and not invest in them is my mantra..
I guess in our lives these days we just don't have the time or patience to take the nonsense that negative people bring and I think it's good that it is this way
Long time no see girl! Good to see you here!
Good for you girl…Some people just can't be avoided I know but we just need to try and ignore them to the best of our abilities 🙂
Oh great! I don't talk much, not much of a conversationalist and maybe that's why people burden me with their crap most times! 😀
Yes absolutely true Pheno and even when we don't give them the remote outselves!
Yes, it is necessary sometimes in order to save yourself and be happy – to cut the toxic people from your life. I have done that. More also I have been better at not to bother, and to let go. I can not change them, only decide fir myself that their opinions are not important to me. Great reminder of a post Naba:-) Hugs
So true…such people affect our life negatively …i too ignore them…..Everyday toxicity is not good for mind ..as for our own happiness we are the only person who can make the best choices 🙂
Nice strong post about doing the right thing, Naba! It is all about choices and hard as they may be, we must make them for our own sanity.
You made the right choice, Nabanita! I have seen the result of removing toxic people from my day-to-day interactions (you cant avoid them totally, as they are friends/relatives). I was so much at peace and finally I was able to breathe easy!
For a long time I tried very hard to cope with the toxic people in my life and remained completely miserable. The day I cut all of them out set me free. The stress went with them. It has turned out to be the best thing I have ever done and have been at peace and happy since. Life is entirely too short to endure toxic people.
For a long time I tried very hard to cope with the toxic people in my life and remained completely miserable. The day I cut all of them out set me free. The stress went with them. It has turned out to be the best thing I have ever done and have been at peace and happy since. Life is entirely too short to endure toxic people.
Going through the same. It is in fact necessary to keep toxic people away from your life. They just kill your happiness and your productivity. As Kathy says, life is too short to waste on such people.
Yup. It's best to let go of people who bring nothing but negativity. The only problem arises when you care about the person but the person has problem accepting you as you are. 🙂
True Eli…We can't change them can we? The best way is to ignore them….We can only decide what we want to do and control that, as you say, so best to do that…
Hugs right back at you 🙂
True Ruchi…and since we are the only people who can actually ensure our happiness, it's best to get rid or atleast avoid the toxicity 🙂
Thanks Corinne… yes, hard as it might be we need to do it for our own sanity!
I'm hoping for the same Shilpa…And yes we can't totally avoid them but we can do whatever we can to not let them ruin our happiness 🙂
I am hoping for the same Kathy..I don't want to waste even a moment more on such people…I'll just avoid them because truth be told they don't enrich my life in any way!
I guess then all the best to us , here's hoping we are able to sideline them completely if not remove them entirely 🙂
That is true Pankti… I think if that happens then we are somehow screwed…I hope our happiness never has to depend on people who don't care about us 🙂
Agree with you, Naba.
Better to stay away from toxic people & maintain our peace & sanity.
We all have toxic relationships and acquaintances and it is important to cut them off. I do it instantly . some times it might take time but I keep them as far as possbl for my peace !
Agree with you there! I believe that I was not send to fix people so I keep living my life and let them live theirs. That gives me peace.
That's the right thing to do Naba…I was tolerating these toxic people for a long time..now that I have gradually removed them , I wonder what took me so long?
You did the right thing Naba.Staying away from them will give you a peace of mind for sure.
Cheers,
Sriram & Krithiga
Indeed Anita 🙂
I'm trying to do the same Afshan..Wish me luck 🙂
True…and we were also not sent to listen to their non-sense..so better we start living ours ignoring them 🙂
I guess they have this magnetic power (bad one) that stops us from leaving them!
I sure hope so 🙂 Thanks for visiting!
Deciding to take optimism further is how you learn to deal with your life.. Even if it;s as small as ignoring the simplest of things so that further things as well as mood is not spoilt. I really try to stick to this..!
With me it is so much like this, simply out of courtesy I don't say things to people on their faces and it really affects my mood when they tend to be the ones commenting.. How can one not notice the polite behaviour that is offered to them.. I think this is the reason, why it is important to give them in their faces..!1 straight..!! I hope to learn it soon..!
I agree with all the points you've mentioned above Naba..
Cheers
I hadnt done it for a long time and I actually did it very recently.The amount of respite it gives from negativity is phenomenal.I don't have a problem with disagreement but I definitely have a problem with a negativity which tends to bring a person down. There's so much time for positive things in life, if we clear off some negative stuff clogging our mindspace.
Thanks Geets…It irks me more when they take our silence as a license to go on with their nonsense and not even realize how ridiculous they sound!
Same here disagreements are healthy but negativity is not welcome and I want to change that!
I always used to have hope and only hope till now… But offlate I have chose happiness and self-respect over hope… An awesome write-up 🙂