Long Distance Relationships Do Work

Mar 16
NabanitaDhar

 


Do you believe in long distance relationships? Do you think they work? How far would you go to get closer to someone you love? This question actually brings about several other questions in my mind. Is it only distance in terms of miles or is it also giving up inhibitions or fear of orthodox traditions (very pertinent when it comes to India) or maybe sometimes just giving up other things we want? Don’t you think it’s a combination of all? I know I do.

 

When we love someone nothing else matters. We look for every opportunity, even the trivial ones, to spend time with them. Obstacles of any kind fail to withstand the sheer power of true emotions, of genuine feelings. The extent to which we go for a loved one is beyond compare. It could be crossing the seven seas or even just walking across a room to hold the hand of the one we love as the world looks on. That is love, that is true love and it could be between anyone – life partners, parents, siblings or friends. All that matters is being with ‘the one’ and standing by the person at every turn whether in essence or in thoughts. It’s about going the distance which could be in the form of travelling across the world or it could be travelling the distance between being shackled by dogmas to being free. That’s how far we need to go, over and over again, when called upon by perpetual love.

 

Just as tiny droplets make the fathomless sea, simple gestures make for indelible memories of life. They speak volumes about the single thread of sanity in the world – love! And at times these translate into giving up one thing for the greater purpose of happiness of our loved ones. For there’s nothing more important in life than the smile on the face of the ones who warm our hearts. It’s all about taking those steps, both literally and figuratively, for holding on to emotions, to our loved ones, that ultimately make us human. And each of us at one point in time or the other make this journey across miles, whether physically or emotionally.

 

It was in 2009, a little over a year after I had begun working, that I was sent to Sydney on an assignment. Strangely enough, I didn’t want to go. During the week when I had to travel, my husband S, who was my boyfriend then, was out of town. In fact, he had just left Bangalore one day prior to the day on which I was informed of the travel. He was on the train when I read him the mail that had all the details of my journey. I sat in the office cubicle and cried wondering why could this have not come a day earlier. I couldn’t bear the thought of living so far away from him, not being able to see him at will, let alone leave the country while he was away. But I had to go. While everyone was happy that I had got a chance to go for such an important assignment at an early stage in my career, my heart was full of sorrow. And if it wasn’t for S I would, in fact, have let go of this opportunity completely. I still remember walking reluctantly through the sky-bridge into the flight. It was hard and I cried all through from Bangalore to Bangkok on-wards to Sydney. While in transit in Bangkok I remember running around the airport for a place to charge my discharged phone and call him. And when I did, I found him awake even though it was around 3 am in India. He was missing me too but he still kept coaxing me to go ahead and I did. I can’t describe what hearing his voice made me feel. Here I was in an airport full of people but all I wanted was to see that one person. But no matter what I did I just couldn’t! You wouldn’t believe my mobile bill for just one night was over Rs. 20000 and that was just for the call that I had made from Bangkok.

 

From the moment I landed there I began the countdown to the day when I would be able to see him again. You know in my industry once a person goes to onsite one of the two things happen. Either they keep staying there as the pay is great or if they are in a long distant relationship, well they still keep staying there for the same reason! I could have stayed there too if I wanted and I could still have been there. But I didn’t want that. What would I do with the money if I didn’t have S? There was unfinished business and I had to go back. So even though a part of me wanted to be this young girl who explores Australia on her own, I returned for my heart was back home. And what’s life without the heart right? 

 

So I flew back and the rest, as they say, is history. Do I repent coming back for him? No, not at all. Actually, truth be told I came back for myself, for my selfish need to be with the man I loved, for my need to marry the man I loved. And when I look back now all I can do is smile thinking of how he reached late at the airport on the night I returned (he’s never on time to pick me up!) and how I almost fought with him for making me wait! But the next moment we hugged it out, said nothing, just hugged and acknowledged our importance in each other’s life.

 

It’s all about being there for each other at the end of the day in whatever way possible. Even though we had thousands of miles between us we made sure we were together. Emails and calls; lifesavers if you ask me for long distant relationships. It’s about making the effort, taking that one step. It could be staying up late at night due to the time difference. It could be waking up early again due to the time difference. Giving up on going for trips or parties to make time for the other or even finding out the best international call plans. That is what going the distance means when in love, going the extra mile. And I’m glad I did that with S when I was away and still do when he is away for work. 

 

I had travelled to Sydney for S wanted me to gain the experience. He hid his emotions, the fact that he missed me all too well. He would have probably been happier if I had just stayed in Bangalore. But he didn’t want to hold me back. He wanted me to grow as a person in every way and hence he convinced me to go. So he travelled the distance between being sad to put up a brave face for me. I travelled the distance in coming back as soon as I could to the man I loved. And he travelled the distance when he took care of me even when he was in Bangalore and me in Sydney. Yes, he found the townhouse I lived in while in Sydney for I wasn’t able to find a suitable house on rent myself, he listened to my rants about work even though he was in the middle of work and he waited for me patiently when I was busy. So there that’s how far the two of us had gone to keep alive the relationship that we had begun. And I can happily say that we were successful in it. We stayed apart, yet together and every day took to the wings of fancy to make up for the distance between us until we were together again.

 

All that matters is taking those few steps for nothing in the world is more important than being with the ones we love, our families. We shouldn’t whirl away time living apart for life is unpredictable. Who knows what might happen next? It’s about savouring each other, every relationship and doing what it takes come what may! I did it and life is all the better for it!

 

 

 

 

66 thoughts on “Long Distance Relationships Do Work”

  1. My husband and I did it – we are better and happier people. I love your story, it's truly a story about love and commitment.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  3. True story & so touching. Really nice & lovely, Naba.
    Love your marriage invitation card at the end!
    Best wishes 🙂

  9. That was from the heart. This was indeed true love in today's world when people are only too willing to dump their boy friend/ girl friend the moment better opportunities come knocking on the door.

  10. Indeed, Naba! There are some of us who do just about anything for the person we love. And there are others who have relationships only as long as they fit in their personal goals. Glad you did what you did. And hope you are having a great time in Germany with S. Good luck!

  11. That was such a beautiful and personal post Nabanita. I could feel that this post came right from your heart. Beautifully written indeed 🙂
    ps, the phone call thing is so true. It once happened with me too (although the bill was not that much :D)

  13. Awww How beautiful… I can understand how love makes you do things that sometimes fail reason. You two look great together. 🙂

  14. Wow ! How beautifully you portrayed it Didi..this reminds me of the time when my boyfriend (my husband now) had left for US for six long months..we both experienced similar situations as mentioned in your story 🙂

  16. Now , what can I say…" But he didn't want to hold me back. He wanted me to grow as a person in every way and hence he convinced me to go."…you've written my very own experience….really really enjoyed your story and could actually feel what you mean…:-)
    A story straight from the heart…. I hope you win Nabanita..:-)

  20. Thanks Rachna… Yes I'm having a gr8 time here especially when S is at home ..I somehow get by on weekdays 🙂

  27. That is some touching story Nabanita. I'm kind of secretly glad I didn't take part now Not a chance I'd have had a shot ! Good luck. I've read a few entries and were I a betting man, I'd say you are in with a brilliant chance.

  28. You have defined distance just as the definition should be..and if that doesn't win, I don't know what could… very well written, and like everyone has said it speaks to us right from your heart 🙂
    Have a great time with S in Germany, you both deserve every bit of it and more!

  38. Nabanita, your story is so cute. You both traveled quite a distance emotionally and physically to be together, god bless and may you be happy and together always.

  40. Want a lovely end to your story of apartness. I'm so glad you could connect to what was really important in your life. Visiting from UBC,

  47. Well you and international travel have a love'ly connection then 😀 you now in germany na? 😀 Loved this post and yes I know how you must have felt during the australia tour 🙂

    Richa

  49. I loved the click of u both firstly ! and some how today whatever I am reading is reminding me my own life in one way or other . Even if I am not abroad staying in hyd and he staying in Bangalore is getting challenging with each passing day. Hope some miracle works for us ! 🙂 I loved ur anecdote ! I can understand the feeling is all I can say. Every effort is going further or traveling that extra mile to get closer. LOVELY relevant post Naba. I wanted to write about us too but I was scared of getting carried away . Nevertheless I am glad U wrote this
    Stay blessed

  50. There's something so poignant and "starlit" b'tiful about a tale that is happy and T.R.U.E. I have too many things that i love about this post.. the best of it has to be the fact that it is TRUE. I don't really know you, but the pictures, the details and the plot.. they just give out the truth.. it's a true story.. on the very odd chance that it isn't, don't tell me.. LIE.. LIE outright and let me live with the knowledge that regardless of the uncountable miles, LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY and the love stories i so pathetically read are based on figments of reality and not my fancy false imagination.

    the next best thing I like about this post.. there's no fancy fabrication.. no "unnecessary inclusion" of the contest promotion rubrics.. I LOVE those posts the most coz it shows you write it coz u LOVED the prompt and it is NOT always about winning the jackpot.. it is doing justice to the TALE that is stuck close in your heart..

    I am sorry for hijacking the b'tiful post with a long comment but I don't know it's a problem.. if i love a post, i just have to tell the creator know that they did REALLY GOOD 🙂 May you be forever blessed in love.

    P.S. Such a pity, I won't be notified when you reply.. I love reading replies to my replies.. Okay, i got it. i need to shut up now.

  52. You should go back to Sydney again and this time with the love of your life. You'll discover how lively the city is 🙂

  55. Thanks Afshan…. And I can completely understand what you mean…just being apart even if an hour or so apart in terms of towns or cities we live in can be soo hard…I wish you both get to live in the same city soon! 🙂

  56. Oh thank you sooo much for the lovely comment! And yes it is a TRUE story so you can still believe in love 🙂 I'm so glad after reading your comment ! It just made my day!

  65. It seems you were waiting for a topic like this to come up so that you could write your heart's story! Indeed a sweet post! Great going! It would be great if you could drop by and help me get better at my writing style (a newbie blogger!!!) by an honest feedback/comment on my post at – http://bit.ly/1d3tGWz . Keep writing Naba!!!

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