Dearest Blog,
How have you been? I remember telling you the last time that I would visit more regularly now, but work! What can I say, it has been a hectic couple of months. I have worked a lot of late nights and weekends. Usually, when you do that, you also expect certain rewards, but would you believe me if I told you I have zero expectations? Nada. Zilch. Yes, you could say I have matured, or this is the scar of having been in the industry for years. The best part is I don’t even care or feel bad anymore. So, that’s a win. All that matters to me is knowing I’m sincere in my work. For some reason, I don’t need validations from anyone else anymore. I must say I love this older me. But we won’t talk about work today. Let’s talk about anything but that.
What I have been doing…
Did I tell you I started taking swimming lessons in May? It has been two months, and I can now say that on our next vacation to Goa, I will go into the pool and swim a little, at least. Yes, I won’t be the one just taking care of our belongings on the poolside. So, yay to me! I never thought I could float without holding on to anything, let alone swim. So, it makes me happy that I managed to do this. It’s a complete surprise but such a welcome one at that. Of course, there are times when I think I’ll only be able to swim in that one pool I’m currently learning in. But hopefully not. Swimming was one of those things I wanted to learn this year apart from eating with chopsticks, so at least one is done to an extent. I’m working on the other. If I can only eat sushi with chopsticks without mishaps, I will consider the other done too.
This week I also took my first year Kathak exams. Again. When I was in school, I had already taken the same exams, up to the 3rd year, if I remember correctly. But with so much gap between then and now, I decided to start again. I feel so happy being able to start learning again. I wish I hadn’t given up when I did. But at that point, studies were more important. I wish someone had told me I could do both. But it’s fine, as long as I’m able to do it now. You should see how happy I am when I get to go to my dance classes. I just wish I could go more than once a week, but something is better than nothing.
I wish someone had told me I could do both - Studies & Kathak. Click To Tweet
Well, that was about a little something I have been doing!
My girl is growing up too soon!
I was thinking about my motherhood-related posts a few days back. Do you remember when M was born and I started the #mommytalks section here? I can’t believe how time flies. Now, M is growing into her own person already with her likes and dislikes. I want to just hold on to her a little bit more before she stops needing me. It feels strange to think how this little person was within me once and is now a separate individual. The other day she came to me saying some kids were teasing her about being friends with boys and calling her names. At such times, I’m worried about what to tell her. But I try to do my best. I usually ask her if she cares what these kids think. Does it even matter? That’s when it dawns on her that it actually doesn’t. I don’t know if this is the right approach, but I have found it easier to go through life when you don’t give importance to every Tom, Dick and Harry. So, I always try to imbibe that in her. As long as she is comfortable in her skin, nobody else’s opinion matters.
It’s not easy. Most times, I don’t behave how a mother should. I get angry. I’m volatile and flawed. M knows it. We have cried together. I have behaved in ways I shouldn’t have. But that is me. I can’t be the Instagram-perfect mom. Hopefully, she’ll know that she doesn’t have to be perfect for anyone else either. So, I take the few wins that come my way.
What else do I tell you, dear blog? We were going to name you, weren’t we? I have to give it some thought, haven’t I? Let’s see if I can come up with something good. Until then, let’s hope I can come back here soon.
Ciao.
Swimming, Dancing & Being a Mom! Click To Tweet
Yay to you doing what you love! That’s so amazing, Naba. You are setting the perfect example for M and she’ll love you more for this.
Some kids these days are so nasty. Makes me wonder what their parents teach them. Let M befriend whoever she wants to. The others are going to end up friendless and lonely thanks to their behavior anyway.
Lovely to see your blog back in action, Naba. Learning to swim is in my wishlist. It’s awesome that you are doing the things that you want to do. It’s never too late.
You are right, we can’t give importance every one else’s opinions and live our life the way we want. M is lucky to have your guidance. And no mother is perfect. No mother is always calm and smiles. Kids learn through mom’s anger too you know. That we yell sometimes but we love them dearly. You are doing great, Naba.
So, what do we call the blog?
It’s so good to know you are learning to swim and taking dance lessons, too, Nabanita! Do all that you wish to do. Live life to your heart’s content.
You did the right thing telling M it doesn’t matter what others think. If we sit and worry about others’ opinions, then that’s what we do all our lives…Be the perfectly imperfect mom to your little girl, Nabanita, and she will know how cool it is to be yourself and not put up a facade of being perfect, of being someone you are not.
It was lovely reading your post after so long!
Hey Naba, congratulations on learning to swim. It’s a such huge achievement. That. and learning to drive a four-wheeler, are two things I regret not learning to do. Also, the kathak. I’m happy it makes you happy. It’s so good to have things that keep us happy instead of banking on just work or even just children and home to do that.
How old is M, now? The tough years, where friend’s opinions are all that matters, are probably round the corner. The good bit is children ride it out. Also, friendships are fickle at this age. Kids fight and get together all the time. The trick is to not lose it when M is upset. I’ve been there. I’ve felt N’s heartbreak when she was ‘boycotted’ by girl groups but slowly she has found her own kind of people. It’s a journey we have gone through but it’s hardest when you watch your child through it.