Every once in a while I have this bizarre hallucination that the prejudices against women have entirely dissolved to nothingness. Every once in a while I trick myself into thinking that the word is free of bigotries. Every once in a while I also dare believe that nothing more said and done against women can any longer surprise me. But alas every time I goad the impossible, the universe throws another curve ball towards me. And I am left gaping in astonishment at my tomfoolery!
There is an online bulletin board, where I shall rather not say. But it does exist. And unfortunately I end up reading it every once in a while. It is infact a space full of blinkered, opinionated educated illiterates that even glancing through it is a blunder. But I am human after all and as much as we like to believe otherwise, we as human beings are forever fallible! And so I too committed a faux pas when I peeked into that pothole of babble for just a fraction of a second one fine day. A slip-up! But that’s not what I want to bore you with, now do I?
‘Cook Wanted’ was the title of a post that seemed to have caught the fancy of everyone online that day. I wondered what it could be about despite the fact that the subject was self-explanatory. Ofcourse, it could not be that each reply would have the contact details of a different cook. That would just be too good to be true, now wouldn’t it? I somehow knew though that it had to be due to a sudden onslaught of ‘ethics’ centric replies by ‘the high and mighty’ in our society. And I was right! That poor woman was being chastised for the simple fact that she wanted a cook!
‘What’s wrong with women these days that they don’t like to cook?’
‘Why do they want cooks for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Can’t they cook even once a day?’
‘Poor husband!’
‘This is what our society has come to!’
Believe it or not, these were comments in reply to that woman’s post. So she asked for a cook, what’s wrong in that? I wanted to reply and give befitting answers to these jingoists but then I realized there is no use really. They would never understand. These are sexists; people with eyes, ears and hearts closed to any reason! All they know is to harp on the tradition or culture tone. Yes, even for something like cooking, which according to them is a woman’s responsibility, even if she is awfully short of time? All they know is to yap at the long list of “should or shouldn’ts” for women. If you think education has something to do with this outlook then think again. Some of them do hold fancy degrees but truth is they are just ignorant fools.
I know how hard it is for women to balance home and work. It’s not easy and when women have children to take care of as well, there’s just so much to do and so less time. Judging by the responses that I read everyone wants women to be some kind of a super human. Wake up early in the morning, cook and clean for the family, toil hard in the office and then come back to the kitchen again. But why? Doesn’t a woman deserve rest? Doesn’t she deserve to go home from office and just relax with a cup of tea and a good book? Are these only exclusive privileges for men?
It ironic that even our own kind, women, raised eyebrows at the lady wanting to keep a cook. It’s sad that women themselves cause their fraternity to crash and burn repeatedly in this never ending battle to win a respectable way to live in society.
For the umpteenth time women are not born to be unpaid maids. We cook out of love for our family but that does not, and I repeat does not; mean that’s a job only for us. It’s simple really. It’s an individual’s choice.
If you like to cook then cook else don’t, women and even men alike. But coming out guns blazing at a woman who wants a cook, to say that she is detached from her family, is wrong.
I guess it all started with the person who said 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' if that was true men should be marrying chefs more than galzz…he he…the society just needs excuses to burden us women…
Rather silly, the entire hullabaloo. I mean, why are we so bothered about what goes in others' lives? It is for the husband and wife to decide who will cook or when and whether they wish to outsource it. Why should it concern us at all? Looks like we have nothing better to do but to sit in judgment.
haha true Shaivi.. Wonder when this will change? Such pathetic mindsets!
I agree with you completely.. fortunately my colleagues who are working mothers also feel the same way and we always thought having cook is good so that we are not stressed out after work and concentrate more on kids and our hobbies.. I think, people's perspective is changing, but may be slowly..
True Rachna.. very true..wonder why can't we just mind our own business!
Yes that's true Ramya.. It is certainly changing but some people ar eso rigid in their outlooks , it makes me sad !
Did Shobit asked you to do so by any chance? 🙁
haha..no Raghu… 🙂
It is a conversation in a Bullitent Board you and I are well aware of !
Unfortunately, our society is full of such bigots 🙁
Sadly yes Pankti 🙁
Cooking is by far the honest profession or passion of all….To get the perfect taste , one needs to be absolutely true with the ingredients…And that's one heck of a skill , of which Men and Women should be proud of…All alike…With no Gender Bias…And no matter how much attitude one shows…At the end of the day the person would come back empty stomach…Longing for some Home cooked food 🙂
Such people really exist, Naba? I mean jumping in on an ad asking for a cook and making value judgments?
I value my peace of mind and so I am thankful that I do not access such sewage holes in the Net
Some people have all the time in the world to plan others' lives.What's wrong in not liking a certain chore?I have been cooking for donkey's years,but yet to like it.
so to cook or not to cook Soham 😉
Oh yes Suresh.. There are so many of them..sometimes I feel the world is being taken over by these people!
Ohh I hate it too!! 😀
The lady who asked for the services of a cook shoukd be patted for she is providing employment . The naysayers shoukd be asked to take a holiday.
Cooking is not one of my passions and while I lived in India, I had a cook 🙂 Nothing wrong with that!
Hiring cooks is more of a necessity now-a-days because of the hectic lifestyle that we lead. Such judgmental people we have around us!!
Naba, this is a perpetual debate. What I feel is that whereas some working women like to cook for the family, there are many who don't go out for work, engage a cook.It is a matter of choice and liking the job,which is important.
We always had a cook in the house, but since I love to cook, sometimes I give a chuthi to the cook.It is of course cruel that if a lady does'nt like to cook,it should be thrust upon her.
Better stay away from such bulletin boards, Naba 🙂 For your peace of mind. So that you can decide for yourself the all-important question – To cook or not to cook? 😉
But seriously, there really is too much junk out there in cyberspace!
Oh World is full stereotypes! I am also fed up of this attitude that being a girl I should know how to cook! :/