Why should I cover my head?

Jul 16
NabanitaDhar

“In our house you’ll have to use a veil in front of elders.”
“A veiled head is a mark of respect.”
“Oh look at how audacious that girl is! No veil!”
“Haven’t your parents taught you the importance of veil?”
“Look at her walking around without a veil inspite of being married. What a characterless woman!”
If you are thinking what’s with all the veiled head remarks? I can only say welcome to conservative India folks. 
Well I’m sure you’d have heard atleast one of these lines once in your lifetime; either being told to you or a friend. If not, well you must have been extremely lucky! Infact, even if your own family never burdened you with such decrees; chances are someone would have made a snide remark about your so called ‘bad modern upbringing’. 
So a question I choose to ask today is why should we cover our heads? Or, let me rephrase, shouldn’t it be entirely a woman’s choice whether to cover her head or not? Yes, it should unquestionably be so. 
It should be our decision and not a diktat that this society bulldozes us with. Whether it is respect or culture, it should be a woman’s own choice. Even if it’s our religion that says we need to cover our heads, it should only be left to us to weigh the pros and cons to decide as we deem fit. And whatever it is that we cherry-pick should neither be judged nor frowned upon by others.
I have heard stories of women being forced to cover their heads with the unfastened end of their sarees while cooking. Imagine standing in front of the stove, cooking, sweating but unable to remove that cloak of slavery from above! I have seen women suffer in extremely unbearable hot weather and suffocate under a veil. Why? Well reasons vary from her being with in-laws to the age-old rigmarole of respect! 
Yes, the orthodox mentality of our society doesn’t believe in giving women even the slightest of momentary respites. Sad.
But have you ever thought why the draconian rules of respect and modesty are thrust upon women alone? Don’t men have to show respect? Don’t they have to be modest? While it’s alright for a man to move around in shorts, a woman clad in saree or slawar kameez is considered ill-mannered sans the veil! Seriously where’s the logic in that?
I don’t know who linked respect with a woman’s veiled head. But that person surely didn’t have an inkling of the meaning of respect. If I’m forced to cover my head then neither will I have respect for the person who made me do so nor the people in front of whom I’m paraded with a veiled head. 
It’s simple; a woman’s head is not anybody else’s to cover and whom she respects is nobody else’s business. So no archaic dogmas, or over bearing in-laws or relatives or spineless men can make her do either of the things the society passes of as diktats. 
I don’t cover my head, not unless I feel the need to. And I don’t think you should too unless you want to! It should always be choice over compulsion!

117 thoughts on “Why should I cover my head?”

  2. Yes Suresh they certainly do…but I have also seen fathers-in-law, husbands, in fact just men do that too a lot, a lot!

  3. "why should i cover my head"? if you are into books then you can't find answers for simple questions in day to day life.

    wearing burqa or veil was meant for ancient society.ancient society created certain norms to keep society stable.its well known fact that humans do have animal instincts and everyone's mind is not stable or in control to control their sexual urges.so they created this veil tradition to protect women from eyes of men.its same as school uniform.do ya know why a certain uniform is maintained in school?

    did ya ever heard of women raping men in past or present.men are more aggressive when it comes to sexual instincts,so they tried to protect women and their influence on men that will result in wreckage of families.

    am a hindu,my civilization tells me 'what has to be public and what has to be private to maintain stable society'.

    ancient world was n't diversified like modern world so they maintained certain uniform dress code according to their wisdom.modern world is about multiculturalism,its about getting dressed as you like but your behavior must be ethical.

    uneducated and ignorant follow certain principles blindly,you can teach them if you are wise enough.

  4. whether it is covering her head or fasting for her husband or touching feet.. i strongly feel that every person should be allowed to use their choice of will and not that such ideas be forced upon them …

  5. But isn't it nice that the current generation is questioning what was considered the norm and our parents accepted without a murmur of protest?

    Things are changing and will continue to change for the better.

  7. Exactly Su… It should be our choice and not some god-forsaken belief or rule thrust upon us..

  9. I have never been asked to cover my head, but my husband insists that I wear the mangalsutra(in Kannada it's called Thaali) and the toe ring(which is 'sign' that the woman is married). Once I asked him why does he insist on it so much and he quite innocently said 'so that other men know that you are married and don't look at you'. And I was like' Whhhaaat?'. Most absurd thing I've heard 🙂 I think even men should wear some board to say that they are married and all wives should stamp it(I mean the seal stamp :P)

  10. I never faced such a situation. Were I face, then?
    I liked Prasanna's comment a lot. 🙂

  11. Oh I agree (nodding my head vigorously) 😀 Men should be stamped "TAKEN: BEWARE" 😉

    Well, I married a guy from UP and there too they need to wear toe rings after marriage..But I don't wear them, unless I want to once in a blue moon…I am a Bengali and Bengali married women need to wear sindoor, white and red bangles called shakha and pola..But again I don't wear unless I want to particularly dress up! I don't know who made all these rules but I hate it when people force or judge women when they don't follow them.. Though my mom wears all those it is by her choice and she never forced me ever..Infact covering my head was never something that was forced upon me in my maternal home… It is there in UP but as I said I don't agree to it… 😉

  15. If it's the men who go wild and out-of-control, bringing shame to their family and a lifetime of undying sadness to 'the' female, why not think of 'taming' them?

    Don't get me wrong but reasons like these are not something that I can digest. Just because years back some humble women agreed to give in to the physical and social strengths of men, we can not let views like 'cover up for your good' be forced on anyone in the name of tradition and culture. If we say, we cannot do anything about the prying eyes of men on street, let us be considerate enough to not force women with the dos and don'ts.

  16. Oh I know exactly how things are in UP, being born and brought up there. My husband is from MP and things are almost the same there.

    I was never forced by any one for toe rings, mangalsutra, bangles, sindoor though I know that nobody approves of it whole-heartedly. But then, I cannot imagine myself adorning bangles, bindi, payal when clad in a jeans or skirt.

    And the 'stamp for married men' thing makes perfect sense to me. If demarcations for married/unmarried are so important, why don't we create a different world altogether for the two clans. Problem solved *wink*

  17. "It should be our decision and not a diktat that this society bulldozes us with." This line sums it up for me, Naba. You know, strange as it is or the perks of having a South Indian mil, no one asked me to cover my head. I know my own mom would have been stricter with toe rings, mangalsutra, bangles etc. And I cover my head voluntarily for poojas or when I go to temples. But if you bulldoze your way around me, I will do something even more drastic :). Give the freedom and maybe your dil will do it to honor your wishes. But ride roughshod and we will hit back!

  18. yes I agree Tanya… and if demarcations are so important make men cover their heads too and wear toe rings, then we could budge .. what say 😉 ?

  20. well tanya,people always believed in prevention than cure.we can't control people minds and its same a lions herd where two male lions have 8 female lions and more as companions.if you can't digest facts,are you wise enough to bring evolution or revolutionary change in female psychology.you can't change submissive women mindsets and aggressive men.so you must agree with facts and act accordingly.

    you can tame animal instincts in humans only when people in society are morally right.do ya really find morally right people in both men and women in contemporary world? you hardly find any.dos and don'ts are for your safety only,if you want to play free in wild,you will become prey to wild.

  21. Oh yes Rachna I attended my friend's wedding who is a south Indian and she didn't have to cover her head and she was talking and smiling like she always did…But during my engagement when I walked out without covering my head, my husband's aunty pulled my pallu over my head ruining my hair.. If I show you the picture of how I entered my husband's house first time after marriage you wouldn't even know that it is me… I was completely covered and couldn't see anything due to the heavy pallu of my saree..Frankly I didn't like it but 2 years since I'm wiser and I don't let anybody pull anything over me in the name of anything ..

  22. I strongly disagree with rohan who has given a weird example of lion. Rohan you should know that we live in a society and not in jungle.

    Nabanita you have rightly pointed out that this thing is not acceptable in the modern era. Everyone has a choice and now it is the time when people should learn to have a clear vision.

  23. Well Rohan what do you have to say about women being asked to cover there head when within the walls of their own house where apart from their husband, children and in-laws no other soul is around.. I sincerely don't think your explanation works there but to each their own… Only point I wanted to make is it is a woman's choice not anybody elses business.. And its sad that all the onus of prevention falls on women and men just don't change and this idea is also vehemently advocated.. But then that's what happens in this country 🙂

  25. i think i have made things very clear in my first comment itself that one should educate older generations about ancient and modern society in rational manner.behavior between 4 walls vary from house to house,i spoke about our society behavior and its consequences.

    someone said quoting lion example is weird,do ya guys live between 4 walls or in caves like primitive man without knowing things happening in society and media.if you look into newspapers,you find rape news everyday like where 4 minor girls were kidnapped by 20 men from girls hostel.these men are as wild as lions.we have men and women as politicians,leaders,journalists,lawyers etc etc.why none could change beast behavior of society coz they are not morally right in their personal lives.

    in my house,every aspect of life is rational,we don't force people to cover head coz south indian tradition is more about control of senses than forcing physical traditions.from childhood we were taught not to stare/look at unknown or stranger women/men who is not related to our life.

    if you have patience and time,do read below blog and comments.comments were written by me.

    http://dilawarrajput.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/perception-of-women/

  30. Naba , I agree , it should be left to the woman.Forced respect is no respect .. having said that .. i also believe that when there is a tradition being followed since ages .. it surely had some reasoning behind..
    The reason was strong enough to be accepted for ages.In Sanatan Dharma(Hinduism as they call it) nothing was without strong logic. With changing times one is free to abide or not but the pity is more than half of us who follow Sanatan Dharma do not even know why we do things like touching feet , greeting with namaskar,visiting temples,etc

  31. These traditions certainly dont make sense now and need to berid of in modern societies. But the people who do the indian culture/tradition bashing, kinda need to understand that they made sense in a ancient/primitive society..like rohan pointed out. I mean i havent seen many men bitch about why for thousands of years only men have been sent to die in battles(mostly and generally speaking) and why only they had to go out, do the hard labour and earn the bread. They dont even quote today's stats and say why there are disproportionalely less female numbers in the Army..all things being equal in modern societies. nature mandates certain difference between the sexes and the cultural norms(evolving) are an extension of these biological differences.
    It doesnt make sense to me even, that women had to cover faces inside their houses even during primitive times. I am not saying that all traditions can be excused without criticism using the above argument(of being appropriate in that ancient/primtive setting).

    But its just that everytime we see some one criticise traditional indian culture and practices, it hard to know if they had considered all aspects of it and possible appropriateness of those practices in primitive circumstances or if they are merely just culture bashing coz they think it makes them radical and cool somehow. So a sort of non-superficial disclaimer would be good

  34. Well I never knew that taking a stand against forcing a woman to cover her head is wrong and superficial.. I also did not know that covering head is such an important cultural aspect that a woman has no say in it, even in modern India.. And also I didn't know men are being stopped from speaking out against anything that they feel is wrong or harmful for them.. And I hope you would have read about Indian Army not really willing to grant permanent commission to women… So that's there..

    See its ok and healthy to disagree but terming something as important as pushing ridiculous norms on to woman as culture bashing is slightly distasteful..

    Thanks 🙂 And please no body is stopping men from bitching 🙂

  35. Yes, some traditions or culture as we call it are good.. I don't contest that at all.. But some are biased and prejudiced against women.. Sadly most of the problems that females face these days or have been facing have a root in some of these traditions and those are what I am against..

    My point is just that it should be left to each individual…

    My mother follows every ritual but its her wish, nobody forced her for that.. Its the same thing I wish existed for every girl…

    All I'm saying is, give us our choice and don't judge us if we don't.. 🙂

  36. Hey Naba,

    I read the post and the comments related to it. I have certain comments of my own.

    There was no concept of veil or purdah in ancient history. What started as a mere hygiene and clean, soon trickled to lifestyle.
    Even in rajput and mughal, the women of royal household covered their faces when going out in public, which was partially for their own safety.
    It is as logical as we covering our head and faces when we sit in auto. However, making it a compulsion and a respect issue happened much later.
    It was women who found purdah and veil fancy and started to adorn it and it then became lifestyle and then compulsion.
    I agree cmpletely that it should be our choice.

  37. You raise an excellent point! We're the ones who can protest. We have the words to say what we think and the backing of our blogger community or our educated friends. The ones who actually have to cover their heads don't have that support. It's by raising questions and generating discussion that we can make it easier for women in villages and small towns to raise their voices too.

  38. Covering your head or not, wearing western outfits or not, using makeup or not, working or not, driving or not, all of these are choices to be made by the individual. It's sad that so many women are denied of that choice and forced to do things they don't really want to.
    Great post!

  40. Yes Sungandha that's the simple point I was trying to make ….sigh! Thanks and good to know that women get the point .. Would be good if more men get it too..

  41. Yes that's the intention Kaplana..But its sad that sometimes even educated people have to unnecessarily contest a simple thought such as giving the women the choice whether to cover their head or not..

  43. You have misunderstood.
    How many times did I mention that even i agree that covering a womens head doesnt make sense??
    I have no problem with you speaking out. and you putting words in my mouth is what is unhealthy.
    You just havent taken heed to whatever i had written in my last para.

  44. I think I did understand your last para but anyways.

    As long as you agree that covering a woman's head does not make sense, its another reason for hope for this country..

  45. Another reason for hope would be you acknowledging that the ancient indians MAY, i repeat MAY have had a reason for these norms which you find stupid, and that they are not necessarily inherently evil or dumb (which your and a million others' posts and comments imply)

  50. I don't know what your point is .. we don't live in ancient or medieval times…Question is about personal choice and not coercion in the name of a certain reason which was deemed fit at one point in time..What social evils some of the so called traditions have led to is well known…Healthy discussion is always welcome but otherwise you are welcome to not read what I write..

  51. What do you keep insisting that i am against personal choice and that im trying to justify coercion?

    For the n th time..I dont think the head cover makes sense as well.

    I know that you were just blogging about making your personal choice, but all the ridiculing and rage in the post and the comments give out a very inappropriate negative perception about our past and traditions. Now do you get what my problem is?

    It is that it is the responsibility of the bloggers to also make up for the negative perception it creates about our culture/past…………..By some how acknowledging that the traditional practices(the one in contention here) MAY have had a reason sometime in the past. That few lines of acknowledgement / disclaimer or watever you wanna call it, showing that you are willing to look at it from a broader perspective is just what I think is needed.

    Otherwise it just seems like you imply that Indians and indian traditions are something to be ridiculed.

    I understand change is due..but guess what its not gonna happen overnight or in a pace you think is appropriate.
    If the point of your blogging is to pin point the absurdity of something at present and contribute to bring about change, do it in a way that does not portrays the entire indian mentality in a bad light with outright negativity.

    Blogs like these add up to the overall perception about our ownselves( thinking otherwise is intellectual abdication) and so you have a responsibility to avoid unnecessary negativities. If you dont care, and continue to affect the sentiments of others, I will continue to pin point your lack of perspective.

  53. If there are traditions and cultures which have lead to evils in the current society that we are living in, I see no fault in saying they are negative… If there is something bad in Indian Culture , then I too being an Indian won't sit down and yap about the greatness of certain aspects of my culture or traditions when they clearly aren't…What is good is good and what is bad is bad!

  54. our society is full with Crap (yes literally). a women should b given similar rights like men get. If I look down my family tree, many of my distantly related aunts are still carrying veils and order their daughter in laws to follow the same. When I say veil..its not just head cover..its the whole face cover…so much so that you cant see their face. Thankfully my family is far off with such traditions.
    a very well written article and very thought stimulating one. good job Nab!

  55. //What is good is good and what is bad is bad//

    im 100 % on that one and im not telling you to sugar coat bad practices.

    refer to the comments of

    Sugandha and Mysay.in which were polite enough but making the exact same point as mine

    mysay.in //having said that .. i also believe that when there is a tradition being followed since ages .. it surely had some reasoning behind..//
    and sugandha had explained how it came about to be.

    You in your post never stopped to think that there MIGHT be a reason behind it. Had you in your post acknowledged that(that there might be a reason behind it coming to be), and then gone to explain why it was absurd in modern times, it would have appeared as the perspective of an unbiased an open minded person.
    Without this acknowledgement, it just looks like blatant culture bashing with a narrow perspective. This not only offends, but also adds to negative image of india unduely.

  56. As I said before it is everyone's personal point of view… But since you persist let me just say a few things..

    The people you mention were were polite… And your point and theirs are entirely different…What you have written and are persisting to write still make no sense or maybe you should see from their comments how you can articulate them better…Your comments appear hostile…And the personal attacks you have made saying narrow perspective,culture bashing to make them radical and cool somehow aren't really level headed comments…. I don't think I need to give people a lesson in history and explain why a ludicrous tradition was started.. Point is it should not be practiced anymore, unless by choice (again my view, I never tried to coerce someone)…. And its my blog, I'll write what my views are and you are free to disagree but in a civilized and polite manner…If not you are welcome to continue trolling there is only so much rudeness and absurdity one can take…

  58. Its not my fault if you keep inferring incorrectly whatever I say. And like I said, if you are not willing to be considerate , it was my pleasure to pin point your lack of perspective and narrow-mindedness

  59. No its definitely not your fault if you don't know how to have a civilized and healthy conversation..

  60. me being civilised, and you inferring incorrectly and putting words in my mouth to side-track valid arguments are different things.

    You think I started ad-homeneim attacks?

    //But its just that everytime we see some one criticise traditional indian culture and practices, it hard to know if they had considered all aspects of it and possible appropriateness of those practices in primitive circumstances or if they are merely just culture bashing coz they think it makes them radical and cool somehow. So a sort of non-superficial disclaimer would be good//

    You think in the above lines, Im ascerting that you are culture bashing??

    To break it down for you.. i said it was HARD TO KNOW if some one is merely culture bashing or if they had taken into consideration all the aspects of an issue((If they dont acknowledge that there MIGHT be a reason behind the issue))

  61. What is valid? The reason that MIGHT have been there? And what would that achieve? You go on crucifying me because I didn't give a reason why our VALUED TRADITIONS started… You sound like those people who insist on keeping the Indian Culture on the pedestal and ignore what is wrong with it.. No matter what the reasons, they have become weapons for making lives of women difficult.. That's what I wanted to communicate and I did.. Write your own post if you think otherwise or else learn to engage properly else even if there is a remote possibility that you could make sense (which right now seems unlikely) nobody would want to hear you

  62. look im sorry if i have been rude ( if you want real rude go to youtube i'd say).My intention from first post was not to crucify you.
    I just thought that when people speak out about issues, it has to be in a way that doesnt have any shreds of doubt about its intention. It shuldnt (unintentionally) offend anyone/culture/religion, and it has to have a complete perspective and not narrowly focused to portray one side of the issue or anything like that.
    I know that i dont articulate so well..but thats just what i thought and wanted to say

  63. Hey Nabanita…Please read the below story 

    There is a custom in a family according to which whenever a death occurs in a family, the members have to find a tom cat, and put him in a copper utensil till all the related functions are over…but this is how it all began …………..

    There lived an old man in a house who was very attached to his pet tomcat. The cat would follow him wherever he would go. One day, the old man died in his sleep, the household was aghast, even though old, he was still the boss in the house, everybody was in shock, grief, everything was in disarray. As it was a big family, quickly the senior most man took charge and arrangements were started for the funeral…meanwhile the cat was finding all the commotion in the house very distracting and wanted to stay quietly with his old man, but whenever he would go near the body, people would shoo him away…at least fed up, they brought a big copper utensil and put it upside down on the cat, so that he was trapped inside…they made holes for him to breathe easy and that was how they went ahead with all the functions without the cat creating a problem…..

    Courtesy…my ex-boss 

  65. Thanks Kavya 🙂 I don't know why its so hard for some people to grasp that its our choice!

  66. Pro-choice. All the way. Regardless of what the topic (read restriction is about.). Me thinks its simple. If you're old enough to be married off, then you're old enough to take other such way simpler decisions of life! I wish the earlier generation understood it as well.

  68. Naba, I think its not the person who linked respect with a woman’s veiled head at fault, its the people who followed it without knowing the reason for it. And let me tell you, I am just making assumptions here that more often customs linked with religion were actually created for a different reason. I dont know if 'Dee kay' had similar thoughts when he posted that stroy and if he had, I completely agree with him. I have a sister and I was always curious to know why she is not allowed in temples during her monthly periods. My parents had no answer, neither did my sister. On an occasion, I got lucky enough to get introduced to some one who gives spiritual speeches and I asked him this question. I have no idea whether its true or not, but the answer I got was convincing. "He told that in earlier days temples used to be the most crowded place making it the spot people could get exposed to diseases. During periods, women are weak and are more pron to fall sick. Considering the male domination that prevailed, it was not wise to announce that females be given more comfort and care during that time. So it was give a religious link to make sure that the families made their women stay away from the crowd when they are vulnerable to sickness." Like I said, I have nothing to prove this and I dont care. It was a reasonably good story to believe and so I do. So in my opinion, its not the people who made such customs, its the people who follows it without understanding the reason why it was made to be blamed.

  69. Yes half the people blindly insist upon such traditions to be followed for no apparent reason… And trust me all the reasons or back story fail to make it easier for the women out there run over by these customs … So it should be on 'choice' 🙂 …women should not follow it unless they want to…

    Thanks for visiting Anil !

  70. Fair enough. But times change, and with those times so should tradition. Today women work. They go to crowded offices, even hospitals as doctors. Hygiene and medical standards are higher than before. Crowded temples should no longer serve as an excuse considering every place is crowded nowadays.

  71. Deepa, I completely agree. Thats why I said, its not the people who made such customs, its the people who follow it without understanding the reason why it was made to be blamed. the customs should be omitted to redesigned as per changing times.

  72. in a time when women are empowered to show their substance and live their life, yes they are free to live the way they want. if they are questioned, the unfortunate ones should get the support to speak out their right to live. its easy to change a man, its tough to change a society for the simple reason that a man in himself is weak and in society his ego would not allow him to be seen weak. I support your thoughts on the subject of choice.

  73. Covering the head — for males and females, both — originates in hot and/or tropical countries. Wars and invasions might have caused women to cover face, as in northern parts of India. In South India women don't cover face.

  74. very true nabanita, i also feel thatrue respect should come from heart and not from such things…

  76. generally this habit is not prevalent in kerala and tamilnadu
    kerala specially was way forwards in womens rights education ,marriage divorse but slowly all evil is setting in there too

  88. Very well written Nabnita! I fully agree that " It should be our decision and not a diktat that this society bulldozes us with. Whether it is respect or culture, it should be a woman’s own choice." Though I apply bindi and sindoor, it is my personal choice and nobody has forced me for this. Neither I have any grudge against women who do not apply bindi or sindoor.

  90. Nabanita the idea you deliver here is a an idea which had been to many discussions so many times,But has an importance at the present time too .Many religions follow these kind of rituals.It emerges as some kind of culture among them.The reason from them have no justification at all.It'll only increase the sweating of a lady

  91. I believe, in every society or in every civilization, certain social norms, customs, practices and taboos evolve to suit the then time and environment and it keeps evolving constantly throughout the history of mankind or womankind. The whole debate is quite interesting to read. I am sure even the present society will absorb or reject certain traditions based upon its perception about its values and benefits and covering one's head by women will also be one among them.

    T N Neelakantan
    http://www.neel48.blogspot.com

  92. Again its a Q- Why Woman needs to be protected@patriarchal society mindset? Gender biases & Geder euality cant be effective if we categorized roles & duties.

  93. Superb! Don't cover your head, heck, don't cover anything if you don't want to. 🙂 Cheers to standing up for what's correct!

  94. I am from Karwar. A place situated at Goa and Karnataka boundary. In my culture it is considered wrong for a girl to cover their head. We were not allowed to cover our head with a dupatta, even for fun when we were kids. Strange India 🙂 Our culture and beliefs changes with the every step that we take.

  96. It is interesting to see how deeply embedded patriarchal norms are in our country still. Skimming through the comments I noticed how a few men, whose reflections appeared so profoundly patriarchal in their comments, wouldn't just give up without a fight.

    In their their relentless pursuit to protect our civilization, they fail to accept criticism on the meanings of traditional norms. Their want to protect our civilization blinds them to centuries of oppression that woman have had to endure in our country.

    Gender oppression is a show of male dominance. It doesn't have anything to do with the way a woman dresses.

    Brilliant post. And its nice to see a few men speak in support of your opinion. A silver-lining it sure is.

  97. But not everyone would be courageous to stand against a conventional system! The system should be targeted institutionally.

  98. Indian Homemaker:
    Just saw the post on Indiblogger today. The purpose of forcing married women to cover their heads is to ensure that married women 'display' respect to the spouse's family and extended family and acquaintances etc. (mutual respect is not a part of patriarchal traditions).

    The idea is that women should show that know their place in the family hierarchy. Their place in the hierarchy (right at the bottom) implies – they can't use their own mind to take personal decisions, or share their opinion, or voice disagreements, or sing aloud, or laugh aloud, sit and relax (specially if those higher in the hierarchy are around) or eat before the more powerful – or 'respected' members have eaten or buy something without permission, dress the way they find comfortable, start or stop earning, have girl babies, visit their own parents or friends etc. The idea is to control their lives. The purpose of this control it seems, is to ensure service and sacrifice.

    Only the daughters in law are required to cover their head, not the daughters – so it has nothing to do with attempting to protect them from sexual assaults. (not that head covering has any influence on such assaults, but women (and the younger men) are not permitted to question patriarchal traditions) Also note, there is no head covering in the Southern and some North Eastern states, even those which are otherwise conservative about the way women are permitted to dress.

    Also, married women do not cover their heads when they go to their own maika or their parents' home. Makes sense?

    One important point is none of these methods have empowered or 'protected' women form crimes. What empowers women is having a powerful Voice. And most of these controls Silence that voice.

  108. Women are asked to cover their hair because to keep the dupatta intact on their head, they'll have to keep looking down. This way, they can always remember that they're inferior to men. 🙁 This whole tradition/customs thing has got nothing to do with preventing rapes! Sad but true.

  109. well written article…being a married girl, i totally supports you..as i am also facing similar problems..and whenever i tried to remove this custom, i do not get support of my own family..

  110. Interesting points are arised in the article. I actually am a student writing on the social taboo of wearing a face covering/viel by the women. I totally agree with madam nabanita on her opinions. And the article was extremely helpful!
    Thanking You
    Maurya

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  115. Do they really insist on all these customs even today?Coming from South India,I have never had this problem.Here,women are not expected to cover their heads.Wonder what was the origin of this custom.Maybe this custom was the result of Islamic rule over Northern India.

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