How does work from during lockdown look for a working mom?

The first phase of the lockdown in India ended and another began right away. Well, it had to be extended because there’s no other way to flatten the curve, is there? The Chinese administration did a number on the world, didn’t they? Anyway. As a working mom, this lockdown is a new challenge in itself which is getting harder and harder to cope with by the day. Work from home during lockdown has become one of the triggers for anxiety for me if I can be completely honest with you.

So, how does one survive this work from home during lockdown and by survival I mean mental and emotional survival?

When you read about people trying to make the most of the lockdown while you are just trying to survive, it makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Or, when you read about people spending their time by ‘Netflix and chilling’, tik toking and whatnot, while you have a home, a kid and office work to take care of, you wonder if choosing to be a working mom was the right decision at all? How do you then prevent your brain from exploding due to all the strain? Well, don’t look at me, I don’t have the answer to that. I’m just trying to get by, failing miserably at letting different aspects of my life from overlapping with each other.

Being a working mom makes this even harder, I feel. But I’m sure the stay-at-home moms or even moms and women who have always worked out of homes aren’t finding it any easier. The strange thing is I thought I would be dealing with this much better since I at least don’t have to worry about many things. I do know I’m more fortunate than a lot of other people who are struggling at such times to even make ends meet. At least, for the foreseeable future. So, shouldn’t I just suck it in and keep going? Believe me, I’m trying to do just that but looks like I was wrong in assessing my capacity to deal with this change. How could I have gauged my reaction to a pandemic? It was nothing but wrong of me to assume that it would be smooth sailing.

For the past 4 odd years or so, my weekdays have been spilt into zones among doing the household work, office work and then again being with my child with some amount of time dedicated to myself. But now all those boundaries seem to have suddenly vanished and I find myself struggling to deal with the resulting stress.

I’m finding it hard to streamline things. There is so much physical work to be done at home and so much brain to be applied at work that it is taking a toll on me. Now, I’m good at planning my days and activities even though I say so myself but now I feel the subconscious fear of what is going to happen due to this pandemic coupled with having to do everything without respite is getting to me. What is even more annoying at this point is the fact that people think this is a holiday when it is not that. It makes me wish I did something that required less use of my mental faculties so that at least it wouldn’t have alleviated the tension.

I’m grateful for the sense of security that I still have but I must admit this lockdown has been hard. I have spent the past weekends continuously thinking about work and hence no respite from the heightened state of stress that I have been in throughout the workweek.

So, I don’t think that I’m wrong to assume that this lockdown is quite challenging for the women and moms out there. For the working moms, this is a double or triple whammy because managing home, children and office work confined within the walls of your home with no change of scene is exacting. There is no time to switch off from one task to the other. Also, the hardest part is with your job you are accountable to another party and you just cannot postpone it or do it when you are feeling up to it. You need to show up and get the job done irrespective of your mental state. You need to show up for meetings. You need to meet deadlines. You need to maintain a standard of work. If normally a working mom’s life was taxing, this has now alleviated to a pandemic level. In short, it is even tougher going now emotionally for working moms.

Well, I suppose, this experience will be something new in our repertoires. Though I honestly doubt anyone of us would have wanted to face these times. I mean as if our lives weren’t a long list of endless tasks already!

The hardest part is with your job you are accountable to another party and you just cannot postpone it or do it when you are feeling up to it.

So, if you are a working mom, I see you. I feel for you. I know it’s tough. Just remember that this will end one day and we will get to go out of the house and for a few hours be just the women we are without the other aspects of our lives encroaching upon that sacred time. Hold on till then. Just do whatever it takes to survive. And if you breakdown, remember that is also alright.

Take care, fellow mummy!